I am dating this girl for about a year, not a day goes by that we don't argue or fight. She lives with me and I don't ask anything from her but to love me. She doesn't have her high school diploma and she can't even count change. I MEAN SHE can't COUNT CHANGE!! She is very attractive, and beautiful. Every time we fight she always blames things on me, its always my fault and she could never do any wrong. Her mom is a compulsive lier I mean COMPULSIVE. Her older sister could lie and even pass the lying detector. I kind of see the traits that her mom and her sister has but she always says that she is not like them. Her mom and her sister got there G.E.D and they act like they are highly educated. I tried to help her get her permit but she failed 4 times, tried helping her with her school but she says she has a lot of drama from her family so she can't concentrate. I love her to death and I am willing to do anything to help her, but the more I do it the less time I spend on my business and its starting to hurt financially. We argue about stupid things and she always brings up the past with my ex girlfriend. She is doesn't like it when I spend time with my friends but she stays the night over her friends house and she says the reason why because I work a lot. She is never supported me on my business or even try to help. All she does is go to myspace and text her friends while a cook for her, work on the business and drive her to her friends house. We just recently broken up with me, I thought I would feel better but it only broke my heart and now I can't focus on doing my work, I keep thinking about her and keep wanting her back. I keep thinking about the good times we have and how happy I was being with her. For some reason my mind seem to think that she was a perfect girl. I need to know what I should do, I feel so lost and so confused. I love her but I know if I go with her she will only hold me back. I have a feeling that she found some one else but she keep saying that she wants me to fight for her. I am am in too much pain and I know if she calls saying I want you back I would run in a heart beat. I don't have that much friends cause I'm always on the shop doing my business. I mind knows she doesn't deserve me but my heart says she is perfect for me. Her mom hates me, her sister is mad at me, and she keep saying that I am always mean to her. What should I do with this problem. Please I need help cause I don't have anyone to talk to about this.

Listen to your mind and your head-you know that this relationship was toxic and moving on,healing from the breakup and getting your own life back should be your priorities now.

Your ex used you,so find the selfrespect to never allow yourself to end up in a similar situation again.

Go no contact,read the stickies at the top of the relationship page for more advice.

Yes,it hurts and it will for some time,but you will get over this,with time and patience.

Take care.

I agree with amicon. Move on, it sounds as if this relationship was hurting every aspect of your life. Just leave her behind and bury yourself in your work and your friends.

She was not good for you, she was actually toxic, you need a healthy willing partner or it will never work. Count your blessings this happened before you got married man

I know but she's the only one that made me feel this way, I think I was more in love with her looks then her personality is that bad? I am doing my best to move on but every second I keep thinking about how beautiful she looks and how she makes me feel. Her family have a lot of influence on her is that bad? Do you think she will change and become a better person or should I just go and leave for good. My mind is so lost so please help me.

Tell your heart to shut the f'ck up, and listen to the facts you have written here.

Even Superman has the common sense to stay away from kryptonite. She is without a doubt your weakness.

Dude, she is stupid and your not. Won't work.

Get with someone that can count change.
That would be a good start.

All of what you posted, isn't good for you. All bad.

Get away from this. Ridiculous. She's an idiot & a user.

Remove yourself. Save yourself. And then, thank yourself.

I know she's stupid but I didn't know that she used me. I just don't know why a person could do this, I mean I did everything for her. Helped her with what she needed and wants I mean does she even feel any emotions? I'm here crying and wondering what I did wrong. Not even a thank you for me letting her live in my house.

The only thing you did wrong was not trusting your gut. Here's your lesson handed to you on a silver platter.

Understand what it is you want. And who you are.

Not everyone is right for us & vis-versa.

Don't worry too hard about her or why she has no smarts or emotions. Some people don't. Just make sure you aren't one of them.

Life lesson number? Which one is this?

Thank you. Why do I end up loving someone that doesn't deserve it, do you know that answer. Do you think going out to the club would be helpful or should I just focus on my future and not worry about any girls for now

This is Voume10, posting on a shared computer by mistake

What do you think?

Will what I'm thinking right now is, if I go and talk to other girls it might get my mind of her. But I'm guessing that would not work. All I want is her but I know I don't want her. I am so confused. I know she is a drug but for some reason I just want that last high in my life. I'm just blinded from the love I feel for her. What do you think?

I think that I understand you. I have felt the same way about my ex. She has ruined my life more times than I can count and it was all my fault. I am not stupid enough for that anymore. And I am sorry but you cannot be smart and date someone who isn't. She will always feel like you are looking down on her and there will always be problems because of that. Also I suggest just getting as far away from her as possible but I know what you're going to go do. I know what I did. I know how you feel and I was there man. Your best choice is to close your eyes, and drill it into your head that she has done something really bad to you and instead of loving her find hatred for her. There is no other way out of this situation. I know that is what it took for me to get away from my ex and that was a period of suffering for over 10 years!! On and off hurt and happy, hurt and hurt again. She cheated so much It is hard to believe and I knew about it and I still couldn't leave. This situation is dier my friend, just turn around and run. Run as fast as you can and never let her find you again. Never follow your heart back to such a rotten place and just keep on living for yourself man. I'm so sorry to hear that you are stuck in a situation that is similar to the one I was stuck in but I'm giving you the best advice here. Run away from your feelings for now until they are easier to deal with. It could take years. I could take a lot of years. And even then she will still be on your mind. Me and you brother, we're two of a kind. Eventually you will find a woman that treats you right, and every time you find another woman she will come and try to rip you two apart. You can't let it happen, you can't let her grip find you again man. Just run. Get away and don't turn back. Save yourself the missory I endured for 10 years. Just go and don't look back. I'm so sorry man and if you ever need to talk, just PM me man, I'll talk to you. I'll help you, I care.

I think you know you need to suck it up and expect better for yourself.

There's a few billion people on this earth. She is the only one who can make you so damn happy? What, with the fighting everyday and the head games and the likely seeing someone behind your back?

Why do people do this? We are all damaged goods. We have issues. We make power plays, we are insecure, we are distracted, we are frickin mortal.

So...

You have little respect for her (im sorry... she might not be very smart, but calling her dumb and stupid just smacks of a real lack of respect), you don't trust her, you don't find the constant fighting sexy or fun or pleasing... but she is all that and a bag of chips.

EXPECT it to suck. EXPECT to hurt. Hell, even welcome it!

Cause if you are hurting, it means you are starting the first part of a better life without this BS.

Seriously... buddy... get a little pissed, please?? Angry that she treats you like this... whether it's the daily drama and chaos or whether it's the very possible seeking out another while still sort of with you... get a little pissed at yourself too, for living with this kind of noise

Not every relationship needs to be "perfect"... I had a blast dating a girl once when we both knew it wasn't going to last... we knew it was bad timing and there were just areas lacking overlap... but we still had a blast. Had great sex. Had great fun. Connected well most of the time. We didn't need it to be a "perfect for all time" relationship. It was perfect for a year and a half... and then it was time to move on.

You can love someone you cannot be with and it can be OK.

But unless the sex is just phenomenal, I have yet to get why this is soooo much of a struggle.

So... convert me.

Why is this relationship worth the fight? What do you love about her? What are the problems in the relationship, especially the "dealbreakers?" and how do you foresee those problems being fixed?

Don't get me wrong I am mad about the crap that she did to me. I'm pissed about how I got treated and I let her do it. I know this is not a good point but I'm guessing why I am feeling this wau is because I made her the center of my life. I had given up everything for her just to make her happy. I did my best to be a best man that I can be. Before I used to cheat all the time with my ex girlfriends, go out with different girls and just enjoy my life even though I had a girlfriend. But when I got with her she blinded me and I fell in love, and it seems like nothing matters but just having her in my life. I dropped everything, stopped talking to other girls and never went out. All that for her. She is the only one that made me feel this way. And you have a good point there is a billion of girls in this world and this one girl is the only one that made me happy. I guess cause I had put myself in this box and isolate myself from everyone else I got so used of it and just became comfortable at it. And once I lost her I got so lost and wondered what now what should I do with my life cause she was my life. I want to badly move on with my life and focus on my life, but at this moment I feel so week and all I want for this happiness is her. Call me stupid cause I feel stupid but I can't control the emotion I feel for her. Ohh and Why I love her. She is very sweat and caring, she makes me laugh in ways that no others can. I just love the time we spent together and take naps in the beach and just holding each other. I know she loved me before but I want to know if that love is still there. I'm guess I'm just hoping that this relationship is not over cause in my mind I can't do better then what I had. Beauty wise. She is so beautiful, I was so surprised that beauty like that can even exist. I guess that's also one of the reason why I'm still holding on this thin thread. Please help me. Thank you all for the advice its really helping me of opening my eyes about the relationship I had. Is beauty a stupid reason to stay with a girl. She has some good character and qualities. She never cheated on me or talked to any guys while we were together. She's not the party type and she never ask money from me. But she is immature that's for sure. Could that be the reason. And she is not independent.

HEy larkin thank you for the advice. How can I PM you?

Your not the first one to ever fall in love and get dumped because her feelings changed, nor will be the last. Next time you will be wiser in love, having learned from this experience. Your approach to love will be more balanced, cautious, mature, and objective through patience.

Hell of a lesson.

Like you said. A thin thread.

Not a thing to hang on to anymore. Just learn, suck it up & heal.

She may have been the only one that made you feel a certain way, but you aren't feeling that now, are you? That's all in the past.

Now is now & the future is yours.

Realize that she isn't the only human being in this world.

And for you to feel like you can't do better, well, that's just craziness & insecurity.

The pain I feel for her is not as bad as before. I can finally go to sleep without waking up in the middle of the night and starts missing her. I can finally eat and injoy my food, and I can go to the gym without having her on my mind every 1 min or so. But the only problem is I still wants her and want to be with her, the pain has slowly vanished. But the wanting to have her still have it in the back of my mind. Do you guys have any way of redirecting my thoughts and not want her anymore. Thank you for all your help

You keep going,you keep busy and you find other things to think about.
As you have already noticed,it gets easier day by day.

That's how healing works.

Time and patience does it every time.

First realizing that she isn't for you.

Then rock.