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Kenzi
Mar 7, 2010, 08:41 PM
I have a boyfriend who complains about me looking at men in public places. It's not all men, it's men who he feels I might be attractive to. When we walk into a place and there are men, he doesn't look at them... He watches me at them.
I think it's some insecurities issues. Help me to understand?
We have been to counseling but he doesn't admit there is a deeper issue. I have never cheated on him and don't have the desire. However, I am wondering if it is worth it when a person doesn't trust you. He says he does but his actions are not lined up.

I wish
Mar 7, 2010, 09:01 PM
It's his problem. He's going to have to find a way to work it out. You shouldn't feel like the victim of his insecurities. You have the choice of being patient with him while he sorts out his issues. But if he's not making sufficient progress, then there's no reason for you to suffer. In which case it might be better to go your separate ways.

Larken85
Mar 8, 2010, 05:58 AM
Jealousy can simply be from the feeling that another guy is better than he is. He needs to work on his self image and understand the reasons you love him are valid and things that only he has. Remind him of the reasons no one else can give you what he can. (even if its false compliments) he needs a boost in confidence. Also, I suspect you may look at your fair share of men, there is nothing wrong with that but my girlfriend about breaks my ribs with her elbows when I look at other women when we are together so I get it. Try to keep the eyes in your head while you're together. Lol. That is what she always tells me at least. Besides, do not fool yourself into believing that he too is not window shopping. If he says he isn't he is a bull crappin lyer and of that I can promise you.

Gemini54
Mar 8, 2010, 03:32 PM
I'm not going to be so sympathetic.

He needs to get over it. His insecurity (if that's what it is) is a way of controlling you, so that you constantly feel on edge.

Call him on it. You don't need to go to counselling together - he needs to go on his own.

By all means be patient, but let him know that he's got an issue and it's his responsibility to deal with it. It's called growing up.

talaniman
Mar 13, 2010, 09:07 PM
Tell him to get over himself. If he persists, dump him.