Hello, Hi I am Drae, I have a problem. I've read other posts about people who couldn't orgasm but, I still don't understand why I can't. I have a girlfriend and I can make her orgasm quite quickly in five to ten minutes. Then she begins on me but, after awhile about ten minutes pass, I have not orgasmed. More time elapses and I still could not. I noticed though that when she masterbates(excuse the misspelling if it occurs) I can get close to orgasming but, since she releases before me I could not finish. I have a theory to this but, I'm willing to ask you all first what I should do before explaining my thoughts to my girlfriend.

Thank you,
Drae/Coupletpoet

Do you personally masterbate a lot ?

More info needed.

How old are you? How old is she? Have you both had previous partners? Any luck with the others (if there were any)? How long together?

How to you make her get to orgasm? Intercourse? Do you have to hold back?

How does she "begin on you"... intercourse? Oral? Hand? More info please...

Do you have your own living space?

There just are way too many questions to ask...


Who are you? Who is she? How old? What do you both do? How long together? etc...

The more you tell the more we can help...

The way that is worded I am confused? When talking about her masterbating did you mean that you both were masterbating at the same time solo or you were getting a handjob? There is a big difference. I would assume that you meant a handjob so here is my diagnosis, the reason you can almost get off to a handjob is because your penis is used to a hand, although the pressure her hands exert is not enough to get you all the way or it just tires her out. The reason you cannot get off to anything else is because you masterbate too much or too hard and you can't get enough sensation from oral or vaginal. You could try anal only until you can do it vaginally if she is open to that. However if she is not open to that then you are going to need to stop touching yourself for a few weeks and then try again. Actually continuious trying is a good idea. It'll get your penis used to the feel of whatever form of sexual contact you are having and it will react as if that is the only way it can release meaning that eventually you will get off to it.

I agree with KP. Ages are definitely needed.

I had the same problem with my first girlfriend. I had had sex with 2 others before her (both one night stands) and I didn't "arrive" when I was with them. After a while (and a sexual health check before you say anything) I met my girlfriend and encountered the same problem. She could be there for 30mins and I couldn't climax but one day that all changed. I was very body conscious and always worried about the size of my equipment (too much porn haha) but she made me feel much more confident in myself. I found that when I felt completely comfortable with her and didn't hold back I was able to orgasm.
Or it could be her technique. Every man is different and sometimes it takes a while for your partner to do it just right.
If you can get yourself off to porn why not suggest you both watch some together. It puts you both in the mood and gives you some inspiration ;)

Good Luck
KSC