My 18 yr old daughter graduated Hs and immediately was scooped away by a 30 yr old man who lives with his parents still in college no job and is addicted to methadone treatment.. She moved in with him a month ago and now is working her butt off trying to help get them their own place. She says she is in love.. Im so sad over this she gave up a car/college to be with him and uses his car for transportaion. Now it seems she is stuck, but won't listen to me or her friends. She moved 800 miles away for him! HELP!

She is 18, and she is going to do what she wants obviously. I know its hard to deal with, sometimes all you can do is voice your opinion and watch them live there lives with the decision they made. There really isn't much you can do or say to her that is going to make her change her mind. The more you push her away though, the more I think she will not take your advice. But rather, if you talk to your daughter just about everyday things, and just never rbing up her relationship. She might possible open up more to you, then common sense may kick in. Be nice to her, be civil, and perhaps she will miss the civil life from her family rather than this dead beat.

I know this but why would he want to try and have some long term relationship with a teen?

Just let her know your opinion and let it drop, Just be sure to keep the door open and let her know that anytime she needs to come home you are there for her.

i know this but why would he want to try and have some long term relationship with a teen?

Well to me he sounds maybe as mature as a teen, so he sees a perfect fit?
No clue what his motives are in the relationship with a teen. Probably fun.

i know this but why would he want to try and have some long term relationship with a teen?

I'm sorry but if I were in that predictament he would be shark bait. I do have a 19 year old so ?

What does a 30 yr old man want from an 18 yr old girl?

All of the reasons that come to mind are neither honorable nor admirable.

But what good is worrying yourself to death over it going to do? She has to make her own decisions and mistakes.

If she were my daughter, I would have to talk to this man before he took MY little girl away.

Good luck to you. Maybe she will come to her senses soon. Especially about continuing her education.

Thank you all.. I wish she would come to her senses I fear she will get pregnant and marry this bum Ugh!

Thank you all..i wish she would come to her senses I fear she will get pregnant and marry this bum Ugh!!

A long time ago I read a popular line that read: " A ship in harbor is safe, but that's not what ship's were built for."

I understand that you are torn up about this. Just pray for strength and peace.

I will say something "good" about this guy. He is on methadone for his addiction. While it's not the best way to a clean and sober life, it's a start. He obviously sees that he has a problem. Maybe your daughter will help him turn his life around.

Did I mention that I am in recovery for opiate addiction myself? After two surgeries, the painkillers got to be very important to me. But I turned my life around. It does happen.

God bless you.

The thing is he took opiates for a high for 10 years and has been using methadone for 4 and has never got off them.. thats what's scary. I don't see how he is going to get off them so easily.
God bless you.

Unfortunately she is an adult, make sure that she knows that you are against it and then step back(as far as this issue goes), tell her she will always have a place with you to call home.

Insisting upon this not being a good idea will only drive you away from her and into his arms. Be very careful, she is at an age where she is impressionable and full of self importance, she is just newly an adult and is adjusting to the power that wields. I am only saying all of this because I was 19 and with a 29 year old. It took me the guts of two years before I realised that that relationship was not for me. I had to realise it anyone else telling me it only made me not talk to them when I began to see issues arising myself.

Sometimes you have to stand back and trust that you have done a good job and taught your girl well. If this man is not good for her she will figure that out, you have to give her the time and space to come to her own conclusions. We all want to save the ones we love from hurt, pain or danger but voicing your opinions is where I think you should leave this. She needs to feel her support system is still there.

Best of Luck

I don't know the whole story but what I do know since I am 19 and I am with 30 year old. I am still with him today, I love him, he is muture and knows what he wants is life and we want the same things, If she not happy offer to help her get home don't tell her what to do, be there for her, right now at 19 most are looking for a muture man, so they can have things