Hi,
I'll try and keep this short and simple. I paid $40,000 in arrears. The Mother was on Welfare for over 20 yrs. This is in regards to my 22 year old daughter. DCSS hit me with approx $40,000 in interest just when I was about to pay off my arrears. Is there anyway to erase this? I also have custody of my 14 year old son. Actually, it was 50/50 but for several months I've had him Monday through Friday and sometimes Saturday. He is a Gate/Seminar child, very intelligent and is in honor band. He does not take a change of school very well so I've been giving him a ride back and forth to school which is approx 40 mi round trip. He is usually at school for band/orchestra anywhere from 5 to 9 pm at least 3 days a week. I learned yesterday his Mother lost her rental assistance and has to be out Monday. She has been collecting welfare for him and keeping it. This has been the story of my life since she had my first baby. She's talking about getting a 1 bedroom and having my son stay with her. This is out of the question. She has no car and it would devistate my son. There has got to be a way to erase this interest child support has added. I need this money to take care of my son. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Time is of the essence. I would also like to know if Social Security will take the interest I owe out of my check should I apply for it. Thank you so much, Lloyd Brown

What state is this in? Also how did you come to an amount and then they change it? Is it $80,000 or $40,000? They can't just change it if you offered to pay it off.

If the current legal agreement is 50/50, yes she can come get her son for her 1/2 of the time when it is her time, and if you tried to stop her, she can take you to court to hold you in contempt, so if you want that changed you need to go back to court to get the custody agreement changed.

You are going to have to appeal the "interest" but interest does not just happen, it either was adding all along, or something else happened.
And DCSS is not child support, it would be for paying back part of the welfare that your child received,

If she does get a 1 bedroom apartment, you could use that against her if you file for full custody. They would be less inclined to allow her to have custody if they know he doesn't have his own room.

if she does get a 1 bedroom apartment, you could use that against her if you file for full custody. they would be less inclined to allow her to have custody if they know he doesn't have his own room.

That is not true. You can't hold a persons financial ability to rent or own against them in court. Example the NCP is paying child support and can only afford a 1 bedroom but has 2 children. Would you deny visitation on that basis alone? No!

There are plenty of pullout couches that turn to beds out there. So its not how much space its how it is used.

That is not true. You can't hold a persons financial ability to rent or own against them in court. Example the NCP is paying child support and can only afford a 1 bedroom but has 2 children. Would you deny visitation on that basis alone? No!

There are plenty of pullout couches that turn to beds out there. So its not how much space its how it is used.

As far as I understand it, visitation and custody aren't strictly the same thing. If he's supposed to be living with her half the time, then the court would probably prefer he have a room. In the very least, it would be a point to bring up if he does choose to file for full custody.

as far as i understand it, visitation and custody aren't strictly the same thing. if he's supposed to be living with her half the time, then the court would probably prefer he have a room. in the very least, it would be a point to bring up if he does choose to file for full custody.

Its not relavent at this time so long as the place is kept clean and food is stocked on a reguler basis.

What state is this in? Also how did you come to an amount and then they change it? Is it $80,000 or $40,000? They can't just change it if you offered to pay it off.

This is in California. Over a period of 8 years, I paid the past due child support of $40,000. When the amount was down to approx. $3000 I was audited and they added approx. $34,000 in interest. I did not offer to pay this off in full. I do not have the money. I did a state hearing which they made a small adjustment (1 month) and I did a COAP. They denied that because I could not give them a lump sum offer (which they wanted me to pay in full, not over the 3 years their agreement said, and they also said I did not continue to pay my arrears, which is wrong it's taken out of my paycheck. I really would like to do something about the arrears, but I don't know what. I've done hours of researching on the internet and could not find a way to do it. They've taken my income taxes for years and now my car is breaking down left and right. I really need another car or my son (the 14 year old) is going to be in big trouble. Not to mention the extra costs of food, gas, extracurriclar fees, etc. It's just going to hurt him. Hope this answers your question. Thank you for your response. Lloyd Brown

Are you the custodial parent of the 14y/o? Also what has been filed because some of the filings are a one time deal and can't be reopened once they are completed. Did the state make you any offers to settle? What is your payment vs percentage of your current income?

Are you the custodial parent of the 14y/o? Also what has been filed because some of the filings are a one time deal and can't be reopened once they are completed. Did the state make you any offers to settle? What is your payment vs percentage of your current income?

The interest California added was never shown on any monthly statements. They added the interest after I paid the child support/arrears for my 22 year old daughter.

There was a 50/50 custody arrangement on my 14 year old son to which she has never followed in the 3 years since in was agreed on. I have him full time while she has been collecting welfare for him. I did not want to go after her for this because it would cause problems for my son and my daughter who is living with her with my grandchild. Now that she's lost her rental assistance, is moving her stuff in storage and going to her mom's house this is not an issue anymore. It is not fair to me to do everything for my son and she collects money for it. I do not think there will be a problem getting full custody of him. He wants to be here. At first she said she was going to sign my son over to me when she got Social Security a few months ago, then she lost her house. Now she says she's going to get a 1 bedroom and move him in with her. This is a money thing and always has been. Without using him to get extra money on top of her welfare she would not be able to afford a place of her own. This inconsistancy is tearing my son apart. First she wants him and then she doesn't. There is a long history of this. Thank you for all your comments and suggestions.

My son was diagnosed with ADHD in 2nd grade and since that time I have taken him to all his doctor appointments, even though the out of court settlement specified it was her responsibility to take him every other time. Same with extracurricular activities, which I take him 3 to 4 times a week. I do not mind doing this, but it's not fair that it's on my shoulder to pay for fees and gas for these events. She has no car and though she recently got a settlement for past SS since she filed for Social Securty, she did not get a car. She let my daughter run wild, moved a boyfriend in when she was 16 (which I knew nothing about) which in turn my daughter got pregnant and now she's pregnant again with a different father that my ex let move in. This is also against Section 8 rules. You have to report anyone in the house, which of course she didn't. I will do anything to protect my son. I have a 3 bedroom house with everything my son needs. I don't run out of food like his Mother does because of all the people she has there illegally. He has a structured house here, which is important for a child with ADHD. I I really don't know what else to say. I really wish I had money for a lawyer. The child support/Family court system is complicated but I'll do the best I can.

One last comment, which she got Social Security she said she wanted to do things by the book now, instead of playing the system like she has for the last 20+ years. Now that she lost her rental assistance, she back to scrambling to get more money, IE get my son so she can get welfare to supplement her Social Security. I am going to Family Court Friday to start the papers to get full custody of him. My daughter's interest payments I just don't know what to do. Thanks, Lloyd Brown

Okay first, you have to go to court to have anything taken care of. You don't even have legal custody of him at this point so that is the first order of business. You have to go into court to establish having physical custody and her have visitation. You will need to bring the proof you have that he has been living with you rather than 50/50 with you to court. Then some of the child support issues can start getting resolved. If you are approved for SSI then no, support will not be taken out of it because that is about the only thing that is exempt from child support.

Hi,
Thank you. I'll start with the child custody first, then child support. Thanks again, Lloyd Brown