Ok, I understand everyone has baggage... especially at my age (30). The difference here is that I just started a relationship with a friend. We've been good friends for about 4 or 5 years now. The thing is, we have the same group of friends. She lost her virginity and slept/fooled around with 2 others and made-out with almost all of them at one point (about 8 of them). Anyway she liked me for about 3 years now, but I kept my distance... then we started fooling around about September and after 3 months or so she told me she wanted a relationship or we couldn't be friends anymore. After a lot of thought and reluctance, I got involved and we've been dating now for about 6 weeks. My problem is that her past still bothers me, and I was just wondering if this will pass. I see these guys every day, and I remember them telling me stuff they used to do with her. It bothers me quite a bit and I kind of feel like a loser, and it gets worse as my feelings for her grow. Is this normal? I'm not really an insecure guy, it's just that her past is so close to me and I'm constantly reminded. I haven't told her any of this because I don't want to make her feel bad or hurt her. Any thoughts on what I should do? Thanks.

She has been with 8 of guy friends? That all hang in the same group? I wouldn't get too worked up over this, as you will probably just be number 9, and then you will get to tell stories to the number 10 friend

Lol, I know what your saying. Actual numbers (from what I know), she had sex with 2 of them for some time, fooled around with 1 or 2 others, and made-out (like kissed) the others... this is over a span of about 8 years. She's been obsessed with me for a while (since a little after I first met her actually), I just never gave her the time of day before. But I didn't want to lose her as a friend and now I'm starting to really like her. She's a really cool girl and everyone likes her and respects her... she was just single and I guess didn't think about what she was doing at the time. I don't know.

Talk to her about it.
If you can't communicate,you're budding relationship's in trouble.
And remember,we all have pasts

In addition, I see it as a red flag that you say that she is obsessed with you.
Not a healthy thing.

You sound like the guy who stood on the train tracks and wonder why the train ran over you.

Because you didn't get out of the way you fool.


she told me she wanted a relationship or we couldn't be friends anymore
That was some rap, wonder how many times she used it.

Look guy, it is your turn, she is the boss, and just do as your told.


I guess didn't think about what she was doing at the time. I don't know.
Trust me, she knows exactly what she is doing and now is doing it to you.

You can leave anytime, or quit trippin' The other guys didn't.

It may not be a big deal, but I promise you it'll be something that'll bother you for year and years. It may not really affect your relationship too much, but it'll always be on the back of your mind.

I'd say get out now.