I don't know what to say or even how to start but really I'm hurt...
I`ve been I many relationships lately and I didn't get anything thing but pain from all of it.
I didn't do anything wrong,didn't hurt anybody my whole life,
It really hurt me to love from my heart then get hurt...
I took a good care of anyone I know.. do my best to make them happy,
But when I felt down and needed someone to take care of me... I found myself lonely
Life I haven't try all the time to do everything good just to find some 1 cares,,
I`ve been in things really got me down... I'm trying not to stay down, but its not working..
I'm lost and I need someone to help me...

Firstly (just to let you know its I'm hurt not I'm hurted) :)

Secondly, I'm not exactly sure, why you are hurt! Who let you down?

You need to be strong in life, and be independent and not depend on others to feel good.

i took a good care of anyone i know..do my best to make them happy,
but when i felt down and needed someone to take care of me ... i found my self lonely


I'm afraid you have a basic misunderstanding of where happiness comes from. You can and should be kind and generous toward other people, but you cannot make them happy, and you certainly can't expect or demand that they make you happy. Happiness comes from knowing yourself, within yourself. All attempts to "trade" for happiness are doomed to failure and disappointment. Having "many relationships" before you have developed a solid foundation within yourself is bound to result in hurt feelings all around. Take a break from intimate relationships for awhile. Enjoy the company of friends, but don't be so quick to give yourself emotionally or so eager to make others happy. They, like you, need to learn to do that for themselves before you are capable of real intimacy. Take your time. Be patient with yourself and others. Life is not a race.

I'm afraid you have a basic misunderstanding of where happiness comes from. You can and should be kind and generous toward other people, but you cannot make them happy, and you certainly can't expect or demand that they make you happy. Happiness comes from knowing yourself, within yourself. All attempts to "trade" for happiness are doomed to failure and disappointment. Having "many relationships" before you have developed a solid foundation within yourself is bound to result in hurt feelings all around. Take a break from intimate relationships for awhile. Enjoy the company of friends, but don't be so quick to give yourself emotionally or so eager to make others happy. They, like you, need to learn to do that for themselves before you are capable of real intimacy. Take your time. Be patient with yourself and others. Life is not a race.


I like this answer ordinaryguy, I was going to spread the rep, but site won't let me at present. Good answer, nothing more to add as this is spot on from the info the poster has given..

Can't spread the rep either OG... but

Amen!!

I don't know what to say... but I'm not asking anyone to give me happiness,
u know.it really hurts when you are there for every one and no one z there for u...
how people become that bad with u even the once u loved your whole life.. they just throw u like
you are nothing... my problenm the I don't talk and even when I'm hurt, I ignore it as much as I can and still be good for the once I loved and hurt me..
I feel like I want to tell them how bad they where with me.. but I just can't because I don't want to lost them 2wice..
I know its wronge but I can't help it...

Hurty,

You sound like an incredibly sweet person. I am hoping you are young. I say this because, as the years pass, you will gain strength and wisdom which will help you realize that, it's not really you, why some people come off unkind. It is more so how they are feeling inside about life and themselves.

I so understand what you are saying. I too, would never open up for fear of hurting the other person, even though they hurt me. Sounds bizarre I know. My only advice there is, if the person really matters to you, it is healthy and important to sit them down and have a gentle loving chat. Express yourself in a way that gets your emotions out, but in a way that allows the other person to really hear you. Another words, don't speak your feelings out of anger or finger pointing. The people that have done things to hurt you may have no clue how their actions effected you. They may be so busy with life and not even thinking about how things effect you, especially, since you have never opened up to them, how could they know?

If you are not quite ready to open up to them, take sometime for yourself and build some internal strength but there will come a time, hopefully soon, that you will have to speak up and express yourself, to at least get an understanding, and hopefully to stop hurting.

I am sure you are a good kind person. Take sometime off from being so good to others and take sometime to be good to yourself.

I have a funny feeling that the people in your life cherish you, they just don't realize they have hurt you.

All my best to you.

i dont know what to say ...but im not asking anyone to give me happiness,,
u know.it really hurts when u r there for every one and no1 z there for u ...
how ppl become that bad with u even the once u loved ur whole life..they just throw u like
u r nothing...my problenm the i dont talk and even when im hurt,,i ignore it as much as i can and still be good for the once i loved and hurt me..
i feel like i wanna tell them how bad they where with me ..but i just can't coz i dont wanna lost them 2wice..
i know its wronge but i can't help it ...

The worst thing you can do is bottle up your feelings. Communication is the key to any relationship. You need to express how you feel, people don't read minds, and it will do you a world of good to open up and talk.

I learnt that I should never ever expect anything of no one. That way you protect yourself from getting hurt.

Hi Hurty,

Iagree with ordianryguy's advice and I would like to add something here for you, just to make you feel better. This is how you could celebrate your life:

Count your blessings and not your worries
Express your feelings honestly
Learn to laugh and laugh to learn
Endure what is necessary
Be open and flexible. Go with the flow
Remain in charge by networking with family and friends
Accept and face your mortality
Treasure each day and each new experience
Exercise your body, mind and spirit regularly
Live remembering that life is a mystery to be lived and not a problem to be solved
Invest in your inner resources - courage, effort, determination, faith, hope and love
Find the future in the Now
Emerge as a winner; not as a victim or a mere survivor, but truly a thriver.

This was sent to me by my friend which I sent to another friend when she was really depressed. I have been thanked several times and this has been passed around.

So, know that you are not the only person with problems. Place these sayings somewhere where you could see everyday and I am sure your attitude in life will change. It will change for the better and you would be able to face the summers and winters of life with boldness.

I think if we want a good long lasting relationhship with osme one then we should go for one person in life... because A ROLLING STONE GATHERS NO MOSS.


So better go for one person and tyr to be sincere.

I was hurt a few times in the past and I found the only person I could depend on was me, so I started looking after me. Firstly get rid of everything and everyone that causes you pain in your life. Then concentrate on what YOU want, a new job, a new look or a new healthy YOU! Once you start loving yourself you will attract loving people! Believe me, it works!

i dont know what to say ...but im not asking anyone to give me happiness,,
u know.it really hurts when u r there for every one and no1 z there for u ...
how ppl become that bad with u even the once u loved ur whole life..they just throw u like
u r nothing...my problenm the i dont talk and even when im hurt,,i ignore it as much as i can and still be good for the once i loved and hurt me..
i feel like i wanna tell them how bad they where with me ..but i just can't coz i dont wanna lost them 2wice..
i know its wronge but i can't help it ...

You probably place too much importance in how others think and feel and focus less on how you feel. This is a good quality, to care and think about others but balance is the key in most areas of life. It appears that you may have the wrong balance here and this means that in a way you are neglecting yourself. You need to start to love yourself and focus on you and place less importance on other people. That is not to say you should lose this quality completely, I am simply suggesting some balance.

Compassion is a wonderful personality trait to have, so don't lose the finest qualities you have through resentment of how you believe you have been treated in the past and present. Instead, embrace these qualities and reflect them on yourself for a while...

Love yourself and everything that you are and Love will follow..

Love attracts Love! (most of the time)

i dont know what to say or even how to start but really im hurt...
i`ve been i many relationships lately and i didnt get anything thing but pain from all of it.
i didnt do anything wrong,didnt hurt anybody my whole life,,
it really hurt me to love from my heart then get hurt...
i took a good care of anyone i know..do my best to make them happy,
but when i felt down and needed someone to take care of me ... i found my self lonely
life i havent try all the time to do everything good just to find some 1 cares,,,
i`ve been in things really got me down .... im trying not to stay down,,but its not working ..
im lost and i need someone to help me....
Hey dear,

Reading what u said here made me realize something about myself I am a person who is very much the same as you I am always there for people around me and I find that when I need them they are never there or suddenly become “busy” I have noticed this the most in cases of my relationships with women (every time I end up going out with a woman that I really like it turns out that she is a nymphomaniac and sleeping with a dozen people behind my back!) OK I might be exaggerating with the dozen people but at the very least one guy (and I am not saying this blindly half of them came out and told me and a few I caught in the act)… and when I go out with girls that I don't feel as attracted to as much they turn out to be the nicest most amazing girls… and what I have realized is that my need to help people (for what ever psychological reason is behind it) is making me attracted on a subconscious level to mentally or emotionally unstable women cause on some level I guess I feel they need my help… and trust me dear it brought nothing but misery my way. I guess the lesson I have learned and the lesson I hope you learn from this is that it is OK to be selfish…heck its very important to be selfish (not too selfish of course) if you can't be selfish then you will never get what you truly deserve.

Find and go out with people you need not those who need you… if you need something ask for it never expect to get it if you don't ask.

Great hugs from me…. I hope your pain and hurt goes away and I hope my advise helps.

I think we all learn who we can help and how, as we also learn, you can't help everyone else and not OURSELVES. If you give your all to everyone else, then what's left for you? Start helping yourself, and sometimes this means letting others fend for themselves.

I agree with moyra's post. It starts with you and then the others come second. We can't control anybody else.

Everybody has been hurt at one time or another though.