downnout28
Feb 20, 2010, 05:12 AM
Thanks for reading my question.
I've been dating a girl on an off for 6.5 years now. We have been engaged twice but broke it off both times. We get along fairly well but not great. I'd say our relationship is good for the most part but obviously have had our fair share of bumps in the road. She very much needs lots of love and attention all the time which is fine but sometimes frustrating as I can't ever seem to be enough to make her happy. I work a lot and run a full time business. To give a little background, most of our bumpy spots have come from trust issues or from me not feeling like I can ever satisfy her. She is absolutely beautiful and can pretty much get any guy with the snap of her fingers. Usually, if we get in an argument, she can't stand being alone so she texts the first guy she thinks of and boom, he is always there ready console her of course. I HATE THIS!! About a year ago we got back together after one of these bumps where she dated someone else. For the last year we have been working hard to work things out and get married. I told her I needed her to show me that I can trust her and that she needs to show me she won't go hook up with someone else if we have problems. She has been good for the year and has really improved. She's been wanting to get married and I've been dragging my feet. She had proven herself and I wasn't up for the commitment just yet. I agree I should have committed. I don't think I was over everything just yet. That is the background.
That brings us to the fight that just happened. I was playing a game with family and she was at her grandmothers. She called me and acted upset. I asked her if I could call her back when the game was over. She just sat there in silence. It was my turn so I said I'll call you when the games over babe, it's my turn so I've got to go. She said something terrible happened and it was one of the worst days of her life. I asked what happened and she would not tell me. I asked again, what happened. Still, nothing. I did not believe anything really happened as she has a history of wanting to see if I'll drop important things like this for her (kind of a test you know). I don't know though, maybe something really did happen. She wouldn't tell me though one way or the other. I don't agree with how she puts me in situations where I have to choose between her and family so I called her bluff and told her I'll call her when the games over.
I put my phone in silent and she called like 8 times. Then texted me and it said "we are definitely on a break."
Once the game was over I left and called her. It didn't go well. I asked if something really happened and she said she would never tell me what happened. I said, if we can't communicate, what's the point, and she hung up.
Remember, we have a 6.5 year relationship. We've been through all this kind of crap before and usually get through it.
About a week passes and I hear nothing from her. I give her a call, no response. Another day goes by, I call, no response. I email her a simple "I miss you, hope you are doing well." No response for a couple days. Then she replies, "Miss you too, just want you to figure out what you want."
Then, more days go buy, no talking. I call again, no reply. I text her, no reply. So I started getting in touch with an old friend that I used to date to try to ease the hurt. I added her onto Facebook and the second I did my girl calls me. This is the first I've heard from her days. I tell her not to worry as we are just friends. She acts terribly jealous but I tell her that she I love her and want to work this out already. She tells me to call her the next day. It was late and she is a second grade teacher. Obviously I'm going to respect that and so I called her after school the next day. No answer. She did call me back later that day. We do the small talk for a bit and then she tells me she hasn't seen her family in a long time and she's heading over there. I say "WAIT A MINUTE, WE HAVE NOT SEEN EACH OTHER IN OVER TWO WEEKS AND YOU HAVN'T HAD TIME TO SEE YOUR FAMILY, WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING? She says to me, you know how I am. I find someone and latch on so I can survive. I'm like, are you kidding me???? Then she says this to me. Then she tells me she is seeing that person later that night. After she says that, she says "I wan't a month apart and then lets get engaged, if you still want me in one month, lets get married." I said, what, you're just gonna say later to whoever you are hanging out with currently and drop him like he's nothing in a month when we get engaged. She say's yup. I laugh and say enjoy your month. Well talk later then.
Then I think more about it and text her the following "This hurts me too much, just make it work with whoever you are hanging with because I can't get past another guy." She doesn't even reply. HOW RUDE!!
That brings us to today. It's been a full week since I texted her that. Obviously I miss her, we have over 6 years history. That's not something I can throw away easily. I gave in a called her a ton tonight. She didn't answer. Now I'm just even more hurt. It's hard to get through. Any advice or thoughts would be greatly appreciated and thanks for reading all that.
I've been dating a girl on an off for 6.5 years now. We have been engaged twice but broke it off both times. We get along fairly well but not great. I'd say our relationship is good for the most part but obviously have had our fair share of bumps in the road. She very much needs lots of love and attention all the time which is fine but sometimes frustrating as I can't ever seem to be enough to make her happy. I work a lot and run a full time business. To give a little background, most of our bumpy spots have come from trust issues or from me not feeling like I can ever satisfy her. She is absolutely beautiful and can pretty much get any guy with the snap of her fingers. Usually, if we get in an argument, she can't stand being alone so she texts the first guy she thinks of and boom, he is always there ready console her of course. I HATE THIS!! About a year ago we got back together after one of these bumps where she dated someone else. For the last year we have been working hard to work things out and get married. I told her I needed her to show me that I can trust her and that she needs to show me she won't go hook up with someone else if we have problems. She has been good for the year and has really improved. She's been wanting to get married and I've been dragging my feet. She had proven herself and I wasn't up for the commitment just yet. I agree I should have committed. I don't think I was over everything just yet. That is the background.
That brings us to the fight that just happened. I was playing a game with family and she was at her grandmothers. She called me and acted upset. I asked her if I could call her back when the game was over. She just sat there in silence. It was my turn so I said I'll call you when the games over babe, it's my turn so I've got to go. She said something terrible happened and it was one of the worst days of her life. I asked what happened and she would not tell me. I asked again, what happened. Still, nothing. I did not believe anything really happened as she has a history of wanting to see if I'll drop important things like this for her (kind of a test you know). I don't know though, maybe something really did happen. She wouldn't tell me though one way or the other. I don't agree with how she puts me in situations where I have to choose between her and family so I called her bluff and told her I'll call her when the games over.
I put my phone in silent and she called like 8 times. Then texted me and it said "we are definitely on a break."
Once the game was over I left and called her. It didn't go well. I asked if something really happened and she said she would never tell me what happened. I said, if we can't communicate, what's the point, and she hung up.
Remember, we have a 6.5 year relationship. We've been through all this kind of crap before and usually get through it.
About a week passes and I hear nothing from her. I give her a call, no response. Another day goes by, I call, no response. I email her a simple "I miss you, hope you are doing well." No response for a couple days. Then she replies, "Miss you too, just want you to figure out what you want."
Then, more days go buy, no talking. I call again, no reply. I text her, no reply. So I started getting in touch with an old friend that I used to date to try to ease the hurt. I added her onto Facebook and the second I did my girl calls me. This is the first I've heard from her days. I tell her not to worry as we are just friends. She acts terribly jealous but I tell her that she I love her and want to work this out already. She tells me to call her the next day. It was late and she is a second grade teacher. Obviously I'm going to respect that and so I called her after school the next day. No answer. She did call me back later that day. We do the small talk for a bit and then she tells me she hasn't seen her family in a long time and she's heading over there. I say "WAIT A MINUTE, WE HAVE NOT SEEN EACH OTHER IN OVER TWO WEEKS AND YOU HAVN'T HAD TIME TO SEE YOUR FAMILY, WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING? She says to me, you know how I am. I find someone and latch on so I can survive. I'm like, are you kidding me???? Then she says this to me. Then she tells me she is seeing that person later that night. After she says that, she says "I wan't a month apart and then lets get engaged, if you still want me in one month, lets get married." I said, what, you're just gonna say later to whoever you are hanging out with currently and drop him like he's nothing in a month when we get engaged. She say's yup. I laugh and say enjoy your month. Well talk later then.
Then I think more about it and text her the following "This hurts me too much, just make it work with whoever you are hanging with because I can't get past another guy." She doesn't even reply. HOW RUDE!!
That brings us to today. It's been a full week since I texted her that. Obviously I miss her, we have over 6 years history. That's not something I can throw away easily. I gave in a called her a ton tonight. She didn't answer. Now I'm just even more hurt. It's hard to get through. Any advice or thoughts would be greatly appreciated and thanks for reading all that.