Im 16 and I am going to have sex... He is very experienced and Im not... What if I suck? I've done everything in between.. But NOT SEX.. Im ready for it, and I desire it quite often. I want to do kinky things and what not... But I want him to think I'm good at it you know? I don't want to be the cheesy little girl who doesn't know what she is doing... I want this guy really bad, and I know Im ready for it.. No doubts about that... I don't know, I know this is confusing, but I just want to be good!! Lol

To be honest. Your better off waiting. I will explain why. You said yourself that this person is well experienced. Your not. So you will always feel like your going to be compared and worried about performance. Guess what, first time is better when it is the first time for both people. It is not as easy as you may think. There needs to be a sense of humour and practise. At 16 you can wait. Your body is saying do it but maturity wise your not really there. If you are worried about performance with somebody with experience then guess what your not really ready. It is not about performance. It is not about having sex. It is about wanting a relationship with somebody. It is about wanting to be friends with somebody. Developing feelings, true feelings about somebody which happens over time. Not right away.

Joe

I was you one time... I mean I had sex the first time with a guy that was 3 years older so I know what you are saying. But true like I wasn't then, you don't sound ready... and why worry about performing well? He knows your new to it right? And well, you've done everything else so hunn... at first the only difference is him sticking it in!! Just relax! Talking to him about what you liked/or didn't and asking him what he likes will make sex good. Not us answering your questions.

Yeah he knows... and he's OK with it.. he is such a sweetheart... I just want everything to be great for HIM... Ya know?

Wow, you have some fabulous answers here! I just would like to remind you that the first time you probably won't be "good at it" because the first time is usually a little painful.

I would also like to ask how permantently serious you are about this boy. I would hate for you to be one of the girls who comes back here in a couple of weeks with the story that you fell in love with this boy, you gave him your virginity and now he is dating someone else. You love him, how can you get him back? Happens all the time.

Then in a few months you might be one of the girls who comes back and says "remember me? Well, I am pregnant and I am only 16. My boyfriend left me for my best friend. Should I have an abortion or give it up for adoption?" We hear that quite often too.

If you feel you are ready for sex, make sure you are ready for the consequences. Yes, babies are consequences of sex. Even if you are on the pill or using condoms, pregnancy is still a possibility. So, make sure you have a good high paying job (babies are not cheap), make sure that this is the man... opps boy you want to spend the rest of your life with, because if you get pregnant he will be in your life forever whether he marries you or not.

Are you still ready to be "kinky"?

Most girls are having sex at your age I don't approve of it. You should wait this not going to be the man for the rest of your life. I got married at 16. Had children young. If you love each other it will be wonderful . It will be a momment in life you will rember. Your body will tell you what to do. It will be a flowing process. If it is akward then the time is not right. Stop and wait.

From your other questions you have posted, I think you are rushing into adulthood too fast, and are not thinking of all the things that go along with being ready to have sex. At 16 I know you want to feel like a woman and please your man, but there is so much to learn first before you can engage in sex SAFELY. Yes the birth control is at the top of the list but as you have said he is much more experienced, but do you know him well enough to say he loves you, or is he trying to turn you on so he can get to the next level?
All of your previous threads have been leading to this happening and I think you should be cautious. Will he love you without the other things you do? Find out by not giving him your body, and not taking his, and see how long he sticks around. Then you'll know how he really feels. Give it a month and see for yourself where he really stands, before you get caught up in something that can hurt you for life.

Many good posts here -- I hope you're giving them some thought since you can't undo giving your virginity away. Sex is being poorly handled if it's a goal to check off a list, a competition or worse yet becomes a chore. Frankly, sex between two people is always a little awkward at first regardless of their experience because they still don't know each other in that way. Its one of those things, like dancing, that gets better with practice. But like Joe and others said, its WAY WAY better if its practiced with someone you know really really well, feel love with, feel secure with and have a larger context to fit it into, like a committed relationship that is going somewhere. Sex for sex sake is like the chinese food of love... an hour later and you're lonely again! Sex for bragging rights is just what you said you don't want to be... cheesy!

If I were your mom (which I am certain not LOL) I would recognise that I can only hope to influence you since, at 16, you are largely capable of doing what you want... but for your first time I would hope it would be much more special than this one sounds like it will be. That's all.

Wow... These are great answers.. You guys are really smart.. I know Im ready because I have been given the opportunity many times before... However I knew then I wasn't ready.. He has never asked me if I wanted too.. I told him I wanted too... I really do... I'm just ready for some new experiences!

I will only add how old this person is, since he is "very experienced" and this means he jumps from sexual conquest to another.

Any boy a 16 year old should be considering having sex with, should not be old enough to have a lot of experience if they ever had actual feelings for the girls they are with.

Also be ready to be called mommy also, since no birth control is 100 percent effective. Sit in your room tonight and think about the ways to tell your parents you are expecting and then perhaps reconsider it.

Wow... These are great answers.. You guys are really smart.. I know Im ready becuase I have been given the oppertunity many times before.... However I knew then I wasnt ready.. He has never asked me if I wanted too.. I told him I wanted too... I really do... I'm just ready for some new experiences!!
If your ready for new experiences are you ready for the consequences? Think about all that can happen, if all you want are new experiences. Only you can judge if the price is too high or not. This is real life out here not just fun and games.

If your ready for new experiences are you ready for the consequences? Think about all that can happen, if all you want are new experiences. Only you can judge if the price is too high or not. This is real life out here not just fun and games.



I know the consequences.. Ive known them for a long time... If I get pregnant.. Then so be it... I'll be careful.. My parents don't care that I am sexually active... or plan on being.. My moms weird she pretty much supports it.. Yes I want new experiences and yes I know the consequences.. The guy Im with is 20, and he is pretty experienced.. I know he craes about me, and I care about him.. I don't know, I kind of feel like he is expecting a lot.. He doesn't SAY he is or he doesn't imply it.. I just want to be good..

I just want to be good..
Speaking as a man, He will never notice. So it doesn't matter. I'm sure he knows how to get his rocks off. But he will tell you exactly what you want to hear. He already has evidently.

20 years old. Rocking the cradle. Jailbait. Oh, so many things come in mind. No your not ready and I and everybody can tell this by your maturity. The way you write, the way you rationalize, the way you think. If you want to ruin your life and do things your going to regret. You had all of us here to guide you properly. Obvously you do not have good guidance from your parents if they do not care. Unlike them, we do care and that is why we are trying to give you clear answers and guidance of what is the best thing to do in your situation especially considering that you are so immature.

Joe

Thanks Joe, I was getting frustrated here.

It is all up to her now.

20 years old. Rocking the cradle. Jailbait.

I hate to be the "bad guy" once again, but I agree, this would not even be a legal situation in most states, as far as I know, should the relationship be consummated. I'm in agreement with other posters as to his likely motives; and there is likely as well, something of a "forbidden fruit" factor, on top of his seemingly relative immaturity. He should likely be in college at this time, or out in the workforce, socializing with people of his own age group.
No one really mentioned STD's as well. If he is 20 years old, and as experienced as he claims, I would personally worry about such. He's probably still young enough to think he's somewhat invincible, and probably hasn't been terribly thorough in his practice of prevention. If he's willing to sleep with that many people, when he's ready to go, he probably doesn't want to be bothered with either coherence or consistency.
New experinces can be wonderful, it's quite human to long for such. But sometimes we have to determine where the lines of boredom, distraction, and external pressures are drawn. A sport like base jumping can be an overwhelming thrill too, but even for the informed and the experienced, it can sometimes prove deadly. Likewise, some diseases only give you one fleeting moment to pull your chute and slow your descent.
Please delve into sexuality with education and wisdom. It is always a richer experience when you can truly be without significant concern.

I know the consequences.. Ive known them for a long time... If I get pregnant.. Then so be it... I'll be careful.. My parents dont care that I am sexually active... or plan on being.. My moms wierd she pretty much supports it.. Yes I want new experiences and yes I know the consequences.. The guy Im with is 20, and he is pretty experienced.. I know he craes about me, and I care about him.. I dont know, I kind of feel like he is expecting a lot.. He doesnt SAY he is or he doesnt imply it.. I just want to be good..

Yeah, you'll be careful... BULL, it seems as though you don't even know what careful means!!

The guy is 20... OMG, that is just plain SICK!! All he wants is a young bimbo and apparently you don't care if you are one or not. This is ILLEGAL, and he can be put in jail!!


If you get pregnant, so be it. I feel sorry for that child. It will grow up in a world of unlove and hurt. So, who is going to raise and pay for this baby? Me? You got to be kidding right?! You are going to go on the welfare system? You will be a single Mom. Horray, doesn't that sound like fun? Staying up all night with a sick baby, at your age, who cries and cries, you don't know what to do to stop it, while he is out screwing another 16 year old. Oh, yeah, did I forget to mention that he sure will deny the child. He will say that it is not his and that you are "easy" because all he had to do was say a few sweet words to get you into bed, how does he know that other boys did not do that? He will be gone faster than a hearbeat when you tell him you are pregnant, he will find another teeny-bopper who will bed down with him if he talks to her nice enough.

Tell me now, how do you know he cares about you? Just cause he said so? You know guys like him lie just to hop into the sack with unsuspecting little girls. Sheesh, I am so glad I am not young and gullible anymore. He tells you these things because you are fresh meat. Plain and simple.

Also, he is quite experienced? Well, you better make a doctor's appointment for a month or so down the road so that you can get an antibiotic for the sexually transmitted disease he may give you.

Well, I am sure we will see you down the road when you are pregnant and he left you for your best friend.

Good luck to you and your child, you will need it.

You are NOT ready. Want to know how I know. I read all that you have posted here and I notice some things that are missing. Nowhere do you mention your relationship with this guy. How long you have been seeing him, whether you plan on making a life with him. You said; "I want this guy really bad". So what you are saying is you plan on using sex to get this guy. You do say you care about each other, but if you do, you wouldn't think of using sex as way of cementing a relationship. That is neither mature or practical or close to a sign of being ready.

All you have written is about YOU! You want new experiences, you are concerned how you will measure up.

You say he hasn't asked you. Maybe that's because he realizes you are jail bait. If he has sex with you he could wind up in jail.

Sex is not something you do casually as you seem to be planning. Its an expression of love and SHARING between two people who feel strongly about each other. I'm not saying you need to be married, but you should wait for at least a committed relationship.

I also feel sorry for you that you have parents who care so little for you. That's probably why you want this guy so badly, to replace what you lack at home.

Unfortunately, I doubt if you will pay attention to any of the very good advice you have received. You are too immature and self-centered to listen to wiser voices.

Let me see... are you truly ready for sex... let go are you ready the handle the issues of STDs... the letters are in reference to venereal diseases... do you know what to do... how to handle yourself when you do... what is the rush... what happens if a pregnancy expands itself... are you ready... fro the need for child support... are you prepared to care for a crying baby at 2:00 in the morning... morning sickness... sympathy sickness... day care is expensive... is mommy willing to be an early grandmother... did she say... have sex... I bet you she said used protection if she did... are you ready... you opened yourself up for this... if you perform the act... oh I am moving to fast for you... when you are ready to thrown down... do you know... what to do... you do understand points of reference right... I don’t want to dummy you down... stating the facts. What will happen when the person you are having sex with is not satisfied... will they leave you... alone... call you other names but your birth name in disdain... do this person have shame... any shame... how many partners had this person had... before you... did you bother to ask... is that fact important to you... do you understand when you have sexual relationship with this person... you are having it with the first, middle and last person... that had sex with this person... do you know about AIDS... you know that disease that killed a many rock stars... and is the cause of many deaths among African people today... and climbing high in Russia and is problem in India... and had knock on the door in China... you can get AIDs here in the Euro states including the Americas... are you ready... what can possible be your come back... do you care... about you... sex can wait... it is more fun without the pressure... especially when you are a adult... do school for know... go to concerts and shop for that special outfit... look good and think straight... what is the rush...

20 is not that old have you old people seen a 20 year old kid these days? They are not that mature! 20 year old guys are as mature as the 16 year old she is! With that being said, they are not ready to have sex because she is too fearful. When you are mature enough you will not ask questions like this. You will ask your partner, and tell him you are nervous yourself. Im 22 and still get selfconscious but in a different way, for different reasons!

The jig's up--at least for me. I am not sure I am hearing from a 16 year old, folks, let alone a female. Too far off the map, it seems to me? It all reads more like an immature selfish 20 yr old looking for the right arguments to lay on some unsuspecting 16 yr old who enjoys head games...

Does he know its your first time? :cool:

I know the consequences.. Ive known them for a long time... If I get pregnant.. Then so be it... ..

Just this sentence says enough!
You are not ready, you think are, but you are not!

A baby is a human being, who needs love and cheerish and you will need lots of patience.

Don't just sleep with this guy because you are scared he won't you no more if u don't have sex with him.

If you want and feel ready to have sex you NEED to know the consequences of sex!

She knows full well what she is getting into. She is just being a smarta** kid and jerking our chains. She thinks this gives her power, but it proves she is as dumb as a box of rocks.

20 is not that old have you old people seen a 20 year old kid these days? They are not that mature!! 20 year old guys are as mature as the 16 year old she is!!

That's not the issue. There are mature 20 year old guys and plenty of immature ones. However, the law doesn't take maturity into account. For statutory rape charges, chronological age is all that counts (except in the case of severe mental defect).

Seeing as I am only a year older than you, and I am not going to step in and tell you what to do, I am not your parent and frankly, whether you throw your life down the drain or not will most likely not keep me up at night. I will tell you that, as a guy and someone who use to hang out with 20 year olds for work related purposes, this guy doesn't love you. Let's be honest with ourselves here. Why would he love you? Because you have things in common? NO. Because you have interesting conversatons? NO. Because you know each other on a "personal level"? NO. THERE IS NO REASON FOR HIM TO BE EVEN TALKING TO YOU. THE ONLY THING HE WANTS HIS SEX. It's simple, he will dump you once he has sex, and you will be left all alone wondering why. Once he get's what he came for why would he stick around? He doesn't want a relationship, he doesn't need some high school girl tying him down! He wants to party and have fun, not be in a relationship and if you are to blind to see that, especially after all the advice given to you, than the troubles and heartbreaks that will be forthcoming are rightfully deserved.

First times almost never run smoothly! It will hurt like a mutha!! My first time was with my current boyfriend who was also a virgin, we had been together for 4 months and we were both ready, the first time we tried it hurt so much he couldn't even get inside me.. The second time he did but it hurt A lot! I was just lying there thinking please come! We have been together 8 months now and sex is good.. Good luck with it but don't fret if its not perfect, I don't know anyone who's first time went well, one of my friends lost her virginity in the back of her car at a party to a guy who's name she didn't even know.. Make sure your doing it for the right reasons.

Im 16 and I am going to have sex... He is very experienced and Im not... What if i suck? I've done everything in between.. But NOT SEX.. Im ready for it, and I desire it quite often. I want to do kinky things and what not... But i want him to think im good at it you know? I dont want to be the cheesy little girl who doesnt know what she is doing... I want this guy really bad, and I know Im ready for it.. No doubts about that... I dunno, I know this is confusing, but I just want to be good!!!! lol
Hey hun well I was a freshmen when I lost mine and I'm now a junior.. I wasn't in the right state of mind if you know what I'm saying.. lol.. but what I think you should be thinking about is if you really like this guy enough to lose it to him and findout if he's one of thoseguys that will just have sexwith you and leave you don't want that believe me.. it happened to meits not too cool.. but if you do decide to have sex with him and your worried you won't be good.. well I'm assuming he know that its your first time so he should understand.. and if not w.e so beit.. well goodluck with everything.. ENJOY.. lol.. comment back

I am 20 and I was in you shoes and the guy was older than me I decided to finally take that step up and I got pregnant and had a misscarage 3 months later. 16 is a hard age for all of your hormones I thought I was ready and of course because ha was expierienced he was used to being with people that were also and sex is not the greatest feeling until like the third time you have done it I am now older and I found a great guy and I am living on my own and pregnant and the expierience is so much better I wish I would have waited until I was truly ready and had the right person

Well, I appreciate all the advice here. Whether some being advice and some being just plain insults. I think a lot of you guys think I haven't been put in this situation before. Wrong.. I have been given the opportunity to have sex many times, but Ive turned them down. I knew I wasn't ready. I love him and he loves me, and its going to be special. Ive always dated older guys, always will... We've decided to wait a little longer, because he wants to make sure I'm ready. Im OK with that, we have been together for quite some time now, 1 yr and a half... We are happy, and he knows my values. He wants to respect them, so just in case we are totally going to wait. He's incredible to me. I really do appreciate all the advice that was given here.. I'll update soon and tell you how it goes...

Justagurl:)

Thanks for responding back and please do keep us updated.

Well, I appreciate all the advice here. Whether some being advice and some being just plain insults. I think a lot of you guys think I havent been put in this situation before. Wrong.. I have been given the oppertunity to have sex many times, but Ive turned them down. I knew I wasnt ready. I love him and he loves me, and its gonna be special. Ive always dated older guys, always will... We've decided to wait a little longer, because he wants to make sure I'm ready. Im ok with that, we have been together for quite some time now, 1 yr and a half... We are happy, and he knows my values. He wants to respect them, so just in case we are totally gonna wait. He's incredible to me. I really do appreciate all the advice that was given here.. I'll update soon and tell you how it goes...

Justagurl:)

First, I don't recall anyone insulting you except for one person (who posted after this not and those posts have been removed).

I think you have underestimated most of us. I, for one, didn't think this was the first time you had the opportunity (as soon as a girl starts budding they will have opportunities). The thing that bothered me most was your statement in the OP that you wanted him "real bad". That made it appear that you were using sex to get him. Subsequent posts, especially the last one, give us more of an impression that you are in a committed relationship. It sounds like the guy is pretty special. But I would make sure you wait until you are legal.

you just have to be ready for the consequences and be sure he's worth it!=)

Im 16 and I am going to have sex... He is very experienced and Im not... What if i suck? I've done everything in between.. But NOT SEX.. Im ready for it, and I desire it quite often. I want to do kinky things and what not... But i want him to think im good at it you know? I dont want to be the cheesy little girl who doesnt know what she is doing... I want this guy really bad, and I know Im ready for it.. No doubts about that... I dunno, I know this is confusing, but I just want to be good!!!! lol
Well just to tell you if u were really ready you wouldn't have these questions, but since your most likely going to do it anyway make sure your partner knows you've never had sex and that you don't exactly know what to do but when it happens things will probably happen you won't really be thinking about how or if your doing it right... He'll probably take the lead through the whole thing anyway... so all you have to worry about is safety first, as in birth control and comdoms

Im 16 and I am going to have sex... He is very experienced and Im not... What if i suck? I've done everything in between.. But NOT SEX.. Im ready for it, and I desire it quite often. I want to do kinky things and what not... But i want him to think im good at it you know? I dont want to be the cheesy little girl who doesnt know what she is doing... I want this guy really bad, and I know Im ready for it.. No doubts about that... I dunno, I know this is confusing, but I just want to be good!!!! lol
All this guy wants is relations not a relationship. All he is going to get is sex and he is going to leave with his jerky self. And all your going to end up is with an emotional investment. After that you'll want a relationship and he'll just turn his back and hurt you. So you should wait for someone you NO who is right and you really care about!! For sures!! I was like that. I thought I was ready and this guy just wanted sex. But wait. It will just be more drama.