fzr
Feb 17, 2010, 10:53 AM
Hi; I'm new here, but guess I'm looking for a little advice. Here goes... :)
A year and a half ago, I met the love of my life. Someone who was my soul-mate, friend, lover and confidant. Someone who could make me feel great just by holding my hand. Someone who had a profound effect on me because it was truly the first time in my life that I trusted someone with my feelings and heart enough to REALLY let them love me. The most wonderful, passionate, un-conditional friendship/relationship I think anyone could hope for...
This was the kind of love that I cannot explain to anyone... touching this person felt good everywhere. It felt good to my hand to touch him; heck... I could touch him with my nose and my nose felt comfortable. We could just go for a ride and hold hands and have the best time of our lives.
The bad: When we met, he had been divorced for a year, from a 17 year marriage to a woman that cheated on him repeatedly. I think he was still rebounding when we met, because I was the first "relationship" since they separated. I was completely and totally in love, and so was he; but he spent a lot of time "not knowing what he wanted, and being confused" and backing away when things got emotional. Thus, emotionally unavailable... If I told him he hurt my feelings, he would freak out and back away for a few weeks, to the point that I felt like I couldn't tell him how I felt anymore.
I am by no means the average woman, who is emotional all the time; or freaks out over little things constantly... but I am a woman. :)
Basically, the only thing we ever fought or disagreed about; was being able to be together and see each other. I am a professional single mother of two, (6 and 4) and he is a professional single father of 3 (20, 15, 11). We have kids that have quite a bit of age difference, and he had a hard time figuring out how he was going to handle that.
Anyway; to make a long story short, he backed away from me so many times that he ended up pushing me far enough away that I just abrubtly ended the relationship. No talking about it, I was just done. This was 6 months ago.
Since then, I have found someone else who I thought I was in love with; but I don't see how I can be when all I do is think about my ex. I think about him more than 50 times a day. He is a great friend, and has done nothing to hurt me; but I really think I need to step away for a little while... I feel bad that I am feeling this way about someone else; and I almost feel like I'm cheating.
In the six months apart, my ex dated someone else when we broke up as well, but has been contacting me, texting me, just saying hi... telling me he loves me, happy holidays, etc. Sending me flowers to work on Valentines day. Basically, trying to get me back; or just missing me because he can't have me. :P
I just don't know what to do. Probably should talk to my current boyfriend; and tell him what's going on? Advice is appreciated. :)
A year and a half ago, I met the love of my life. Someone who was my soul-mate, friend, lover and confidant. Someone who could make me feel great just by holding my hand. Someone who had a profound effect on me because it was truly the first time in my life that I trusted someone with my feelings and heart enough to REALLY let them love me. The most wonderful, passionate, un-conditional friendship/relationship I think anyone could hope for...
This was the kind of love that I cannot explain to anyone... touching this person felt good everywhere. It felt good to my hand to touch him; heck... I could touch him with my nose and my nose felt comfortable. We could just go for a ride and hold hands and have the best time of our lives.
The bad: When we met, he had been divorced for a year, from a 17 year marriage to a woman that cheated on him repeatedly. I think he was still rebounding when we met, because I was the first "relationship" since they separated. I was completely and totally in love, and so was he; but he spent a lot of time "not knowing what he wanted, and being confused" and backing away when things got emotional. Thus, emotionally unavailable... If I told him he hurt my feelings, he would freak out and back away for a few weeks, to the point that I felt like I couldn't tell him how I felt anymore.
I am by no means the average woman, who is emotional all the time; or freaks out over little things constantly... but I am a woman. :)
Basically, the only thing we ever fought or disagreed about; was being able to be together and see each other. I am a professional single mother of two, (6 and 4) and he is a professional single father of 3 (20, 15, 11). We have kids that have quite a bit of age difference, and he had a hard time figuring out how he was going to handle that.
Anyway; to make a long story short, he backed away from me so many times that he ended up pushing me far enough away that I just abrubtly ended the relationship. No talking about it, I was just done. This was 6 months ago.
Since then, I have found someone else who I thought I was in love with; but I don't see how I can be when all I do is think about my ex. I think about him more than 50 times a day. He is a great friend, and has done nothing to hurt me; but I really think I need to step away for a little while... I feel bad that I am feeling this way about someone else; and I almost feel like I'm cheating.
In the six months apart, my ex dated someone else when we broke up as well, but has been contacting me, texting me, just saying hi... telling me he loves me, happy holidays, etc. Sending me flowers to work on Valentines day. Basically, trying to get me back; or just missing me because he can't have me. :P
I just don't know what to do. Probably should talk to my current boyfriend; and tell him what's going on? Advice is appreciated. :)