I've been seeing my boyfriend for 6 months, and I have a much higher sex drive than him. I often feel like I force sex out of him; often he is sexually aroused (lI can tell because his penis is hard), but he still doesn't want to have sex. I wouldn't mind having sex less often than I would find ideal if when we did have sex he put in a lot of effort. But I have to be on top EVERY time, and he has never gone down on me. I have told him several times things I would like him to do but he makes no attempt it's just the same. Any ideas why, or what I should do?

Try asking him what is bothering him. There could be something wrong with him that he might not want to have sex.

By the way, just because he's hard doesn't mean he wants to have sex. A little FYI, when a women is raped she can still have an orgasm despite being forced to do something she does not want to do.

Well, talking would be a good start. But not while you're in bed and not in an accusing or blaming way.

However, try not to expect answers and solutions immediately. Give him the space to think about what you've talked about rather than expecting him to know how and what he feels straightaway.

It can take time to understand what prompts our responses, but one thing you might think about, and it's only a thought, is that men like to be the initiators.

If your libido is stronger and you're the one usually making the moves, he may feel inadequate or emasculated.

Could he be having issues regarding his sexuality? He might be struggling with sexual feelings toward a woman while possibly having sexual thoughts about another man. Even if he never admits it, he could be confused about his preferences. Some men don't even realize this is the problem, at least for a very long time, because they can't admit it to themselves.

Hi Shorty,

Can you tell us how old are you? Thanks.

John

Thanks people, I'm 22, he's 23