View Full Version : How to leave a sociopath
fawesome
Feb 16, 2010, 04:13 PM
I just started dating this guy whom which I believe is a sociopath. He never wants me to leave his house. He always makes it so convenient for me to stay.. washes my clothes I wore there without me asking him to. Has for me all the toiletries I could possible need. Bought food I said I liked.-- he constantly drinks. He double talks. Triple talks. etc. he is never relaxed. Anxiety. Stressed. Constantly moving.. unless he is talking.. then it is the most eloquent and strategically planned conservationist.. he never twists his words and takes anything back.. he is always right and I'm always wrong. I have no right to feel anything... and I have no right to conflict or disagree. He is cunning. Super smart. Charming.. always finds a way to keep me there. He is in trouble with the law and feels he is above it... and he is a cop. And he never tells me he loves me or anyone. He is distant from his friends and family.. he gets mad at his neighbors and his dogs.. even when they are barely making any noise he is outraged. -- he is super controlling.. tells me when to go to bed or wake up. He is restless... controlling... unreasonable.. and I made the mistake of spending a few days with him and getting to know him because he has been my sisters beat partner for 5 years... and she trusts him... but has no idea... he is like this... he has no value of money.. I thought I was crazy for thinking there was something wrong with him... till I looked up several definitions. He fit 33 out of 35 traits.. and he doesn't feel bad for bad things he does... he hurts my feelings and then acts immature if I call him out on it.. he seems to get off and being mean... but at the same time he acts like he has the right to and I'm just a pinion.. I'm below him? He is the most perfect man in the world.. He thinks.. . I'm scared and I don't know how to get out!! Help me asap.. how do I get out? He is obsessed with my sister too and she doesn't know and I think he is using me as his victim and then manipulating it to look normal and to get closer to her.
JudyKayTee
Feb 16, 2010, 04:39 PM
You report threatening behavior to the Police; you simply get up and walk out. Go to a friend's house, go to a relative's house, go to a shelter.
But get out. Why he acts like this doesn't matter.
Again - get out.
Fr_Chuck
Feb 16, 2010, 06:21 PM
Yes you open the door and walk out, it sounds like this is not your main home ( you said he will wash your clothes so you can stay) so you go home, change the locks, add a security alarm if you want.
But you leave and don't go back
Jake2008
Feb 17, 2010, 02:11 PM
When you are out, have a heart to heart with your sister, tell her exactly what you have said here. If the extent of his behaviour includes you, to get to her, she too could be in some serious danger.
Record any and all contact with this man, in a notebook. Chuck said to change the locks on your house, and this is a good idea.
Just my opinion here, but I wonder if there aren't drugs involved.
Lucky098
Feb 17, 2010, 05:46 PM
If I were you... I'd go home to mom lol
But yea, you need to leave this relationship. It'll only get worse.
Kitkat22
Feb 17, 2010, 10:55 PM
Please find a way to get as far away from him as possible. How do the other police officers at work feel about him?
There have to be some red flags they see. Please leave. It is the only option.
Gemini54
Feb 18, 2010, 03:58 PM
Go back to your house. Don't ever go back to his house again. Change the locks and your phone numbers if you need to.
If you've been looking up sociopath on the internet then you know how dangerous and deluded these people can be. Don't kid yourself - they are potential psychopaths. If he has a police background, and believes he is above the law then it makes it even worse.
Tell your sister all about him and give her the articles you've read.
You both need to keep as far away from this man as possible. Protect yourselves because he may take your withdrawal from his life VERY badly. If you need to, inform some of your other police friends, in confidence, about what is going on.
Kitkat22
Feb 18, 2010, 05:51 PM
Please take the advice you have received here. Men like this are usaually very easily angered. He is a coward who takes his frustrations out on you. It WILL NOT get any better. After you leave, get an order of protection, he won't be able to come near you. Good Luck!
rubyGM
Feb 19, 2010, 01:09 AM
Just cut off all ties and stay away from him. Don't take his bull and if her tires anything to make you come back just remember the bull s.h.i.t. he puts you through.
Ignore him and he will get bored and find another victim to torture with his mental illness.
And please do get help and call a hotline for abuse if he tries or ha hit you.
I know you will do the right thing.
Live your life and don't fall for crazy guys anymore!!
KBC
Feb 19, 2010, 06:24 AM
Rational thinking says, why are you there?
What has you so interested in someone who acts this way? Do you have more to add to this description of him, or your side of this 'relationship'?
I cannot see any reason why someone would stay with someone like this, if he is behaving in a way that is contrary to your comfort zone,why are you involved?
JudyKayTee
Feb 19, 2010, 08:07 AM
Rational thinking says,,why are you there?
What has you so interested in someone who acts this way?,Do you have more to add to this description of him,,or your side of this 'relationship'?
I cannot see any reason why someone would stay with someone like this,,if he is behaving in a way that is contrary to your comfort zone,why are you involved?
She said she is "scared" - I assume she's afraid of him.
It's not all that easy for a dependent female to leave a controlling, frightening, "dangerous" man.
That "love", that man, can also become this side of an addiction - the danger, the uncertainty, whatever it is that pulls women back in.
Kitkat22
Feb 19, 2010, 11:28 AM
If you have family ask them for help. There are shelters and people who care about women in your situation.