Ok, here's the story. I've been married a little over 2 years to Allen, he's great & he gave me a beautiful daughter Katy. For the past 4 months or so, I have developed feelings for my husband's best friend Jason. So much so, that I thought about having an affair, several times.

I figured the best way to get over the feelings and thoughts would be to keep my distance from Jason. However, the fact that he is my husband's best friend & my daughter's god-father, it's a little difficult. Jason sort of knows about my feelings for him, not to the extent that they are, but he knows more than he doesn't.

Every time we hang out, (I know this is horrible, but... ) Jason and I have more physical contact than we should. Now, we aren't grabbing each other or making out or anything, but we hold hands and caress each other's skin... and honestly, it's feels more natural to do that with Jason than my husband. I'm not sure why and it scares me.

Now, to make matters worse, my husband and I have a roommate named Kat. Jason and Kat like each other. This means he will be coming over to the house a lot more often. Not only that, Allen, Kat & I all work together, so Jason will definitely be around me more often.

Kat is privy to my feelings for Jason. I want her to be happy, I really do. She's had some real jerk-guys here lately. If Jason makes her happy then I am just going to have to deal with things.

I just don't want things to get to the point where Kat and I are fighting all the time and I start blaming her for this depression, because she knew all about my feelings for Jason.

I really need some help dealing with this. Kat is one of my best friends & my roommate; Jason is Allen's BEST friend & my child's god-father.

COMPLETELY LOST! PLEASE HELP ME!

You are in a tough situation, however you are causing the situation. Its natural to take a liking to a spouse friend but you must be mature enough to handle the feelings and eventually they will go away. The feelings you have are pure lust fot your husband best friend. Even if you don't want to be with your husband anymore never date a close friend of his.

How am I causing the situation, I already said that I was ignoring these feelings as best as possible. My problem is that he is going to be hanging around a lot more, so it will be harder for me to deal with things. That's why I need help trying to push the feelings aside

Are there any issues with your husband that stand out to you?

Is it possible that you are having "grass is greener" mentality due to those issues with your husband?

You mentioned that physical contact with jason feels more "natural", did you used to have that level of physical contact with your husband? Maybe work on bringing that back with him.

Could any of this have to do with this thread?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adult-sexuality/3some-him-what-about-me-426336.html

CarrotTalker: I don't think there are any issues with my husband. Other than sometimes I feel like he takes me for granted and doesn't appreciate me anymore. Things between my husband and I have dwindled down to very rare and almost nothing. This scares me. I do love him. I don't think the "grass is greener" mentality applies to this situation for the simple fact that jason doesn't even have a GED, no job and lives with his brother... so it is definitely not materialistic pastures. I think a big reason why I am so attracted to Jason is that we have somewhat the same mentality when it comes to having fun and hanging out with people. I love being around a lot of people and having fun. Allen would rather stay home and read stories on the internet. Jason is also more of the physical type that I am usually attracted to... tall, well built, kind of a rough look to him. Allen is the complete opposite. He's short (er than me), kind of skinny & for the most part clean cut.

J_9: my previous thread does not have anything to do with this (thank you for remembering me). I have had these feelings for Jason even before the discussion of having other people in our bed.

I was all ready to start ignoring Jason and not hanging out with him anymore (as much as possible) in order to help get rid of these feelings, but if he and my roommate start hanging out more, then I will have to see him more often. Not only at the house and work, but if they decide to go to a movie or something. Kat is very shy and innocent. She has asked allen and I to go along with her when she hangs out with guys to help her socially and mentally.