I am 23 years old and my boyfriend is 27. We have been together for 6+ years. We have always had problems in regard to sex but at first it was only because he has a lot of trouble lasting more than 2-3 minutes. However we found condoms that help him and he has gotten better at it over time. Lately though it is hard to get him to have sex with me at all, it feels like a chore. We used to have sex almost every time we saw each other (when we lived with our parents), but now Im lucky if we do once or more a week. Some weeks we don't at all. I have asked him to go see a doctor about his PE and drive but he gets very hurt when I mention in any way that I am dissatisfied. I asked him to have phone sex when I was away at school and we did maybe twice but whenever I ask he says it makes him feel uncomfortable. I also bought a vibrator while I was away and that too gets me the same reaction from him, so I have to use it when I am alone. I have a very strong libido where if we could I would want sex every other day and this situation is driving me nuts. I also feel like I always initiate it, he did maybe twice in 6 years. It makes me feel very unsexy and unwanted. He says no he still wants me but he never brings it up. He likes to cuddle but doing that turns on my drive so it is very uncomfortable for me (female blue balls?)
I will not leave him as we love each other dearly and he is my emotional support and best friend, I also have depression and anxiety and he is one of my small number of friends who doesn't judge me for it. I am just starting to really resent how this is affecting me, I am very depressed and am starting to consider not having sex anymore and just pleasuring myself. Its sad that a healthy 23 year old has to consider this.

Have you tried talking to him about the situation?

Make sure you do not say you are "dissatisfied", that is a big punch to his ego.

Simply ask how he no longer feels comfortable having sex at the same frequency as before. What is on his mind and what he might be uncomfortable with. You might not get an instant response, but try to ask him to get back to you in a week if he has trouble articulating.

Have you tried talking to him about the situation?

Make sure you do not say you are "dissatisfied", that is a big punch to his ego.

Simply ask how he no longer feels comfortable having sex at the same frequency as before. What is on his mind and what he might be uncomfortable with. You might not get an instant response, but try to ask him to get back to you in a week if he has trouble articulating.

No I never use that word, I meant that I voice my "dissatisfaction" with him (I coudnt think of a better word). I try and be careful of how I choose my words. I have tried to approach the topic with him before but like I said... his feelings get hurt very easily and it usually rapidly turns into an argument. I will try talking to him again.

That sounds like passive-aggressive behaviour, to me.

HE doesn't want to discuss it, so he gets all hurt and turns the subject away into an argument.

I seriously suggest relationship counseling.

Sex is a two way street. He can't just ignore your needs and desires and claim to feel hurt when you bring them up.

It may be that he feels emasculated by the fact that you have a higher libido that him, or he may feel inadequate due to the PE.

Either way, if you want to continue to have a balanced relationship then something must change. Ignoring the issues is only going to make you more resentful, and he won't face what's troubling him.

Why don't you make an appointment with the doctor and take him with you? PE is often easy to deal with, but his inability to listen to your needs is a more serious issue that my require counselling.