kayleey
Feb 12, 2010, 02:05 AM
I was in a relationship for 11 years, and was very close to the guy, we shared a lot of affection and physical attachment, not so much emotional attachment however.
The relationship was at a struggle after a miscarriage, things began to turn sour, drugs, aggression. We sold our house, and I stayed with my mum, he rented a shared house. We tried again and moved into a rented house fro 2 years. He had his mate living with us on/off which never gave us much independence, and I found that I felt we could never have a proper adult relationship. He began to play online games and spend a lot of time online, and I felt let out. So this is where, I met someone at work who gave me the attention, and we had the same entrepreneur views on business ideas etc. He was in a relationship where he had 3 little children. I was surprised the guy had 5 kids, and wasn't even considering him for a relationship anyway, but when I found this out I was like I would never go out with a guy who has that many kids!
As time passed on, we became more acquainted, ended up on the same project, and he had a type of clever energy about him that was refreshing to everyone around him.
We ended up staying overnight in hotels for projects, and began to built relationship.
I began to feel out of love for my partner, as we were not getting any quality time together. He wrote of my car 4 months after I met this guy. The day after my partner wrote off the car, I came home from work, after soughting out a hire car all day. My partner was frustrated with me, as his fingers hurt from trapping it in the door, so he said he couldn't wash up. I went to the toilet and he shouted to me to come and do it, I said give me a min, when I got downstairs, he started to become frustrated into my face, then we were having arguments around the house. I went upstairs to do my coursework, and made a decision not to stay with him if I'm scared of him, cause I don't want to bring a child into a frearful relationship.
So the next morning I took my stuff, didn't go back. When he called me during the say, I told him I'm not coming back.
Next month he put a lodger in, and was going out partying etc.
I became more acquainted with the new guy, and fell pregnant -yes I know stupid.
Well I didn't have it, the guy was very supportive. It was too early days for me, as I was scared about the guys other kids, and ex, and also didn't know if I was over my ex properly.
My ex has always held a torch for me, and came to propose on my doorstep a month after. I felt not a lot of good direction had changed for him, and wasn't sure it would be right to even consider it, seen as there was no grounds, so I said no.
It was hard as I still loved him, anyway the new boyfriend was trying his best to keep hold of me, and was desperate too, I couldn't upset him and ended up staying with him.
The next year we went away on hols for 6 weeks, to my home country, where me and the ex met. Wasn't easy, but we had good and bad times, I felt lonely being with hi at times, cause I missed so much attributes of my ex.
When we got back, I thought I can't carry on if I miss my ex so much.
I cooled it off a bit, as we were not loving with each other. My ex came and saw me on my birthday and bought me a lunchtime drink, he insisted so much, after exchanging a couple of online messages, after his birthday wishes message I sent. He said he wouldn't be able to anything with me at the weekend cause he's at carnival with the boys, I found out later on fb that he was with this girl he was seeing before that he said he split up with 2 months ago.
The new boyfriend, wanted to spoil me so much for my birthday, I spent the weekend with him and he made me a beautful meat and decorated the room with balloons.
Since then we have been seeing each other, but I have cooled it off once after that, saying I wasn't sure this was right, then again we meet up and just carry on. Dec comes and an accident occurs now Im 9 weeks, after considering to get rid and talking to him 2 weeks again, again we just carried on. I spent 2 days with him staying at mine, and although he did lots of stuff round the house for me, I felt that there was no intimacy, not sure what happened when he walked through the door, but we hit it off wrong, and seemed to effect the whole 2 days, and now I'm wondering if this is how it will be with him, and what if it doesn't work out, how will the child deal with the other 5 siblings, is that my ex gone for good, as he may not accept me with kids, I know that's a silly thing to think right now. If I am not sure if we are compatible in likes, lifestyle etc (he is 13 yrs older), do I get rid now, ad forever hold my piece, or do I stick it out and forever hold my piece?
Its long winded, I know I have been stupid, I am only human, some of us do get caught up, and yes the grass is not always greener, but temptation to try is out there.
I would appreciate sincere comments and advise, I can smack my own hand, as people in this situation often already know they've messed up, and should have done things differently.
The relationship was at a struggle after a miscarriage, things began to turn sour, drugs, aggression. We sold our house, and I stayed with my mum, he rented a shared house. We tried again and moved into a rented house fro 2 years. He had his mate living with us on/off which never gave us much independence, and I found that I felt we could never have a proper adult relationship. He began to play online games and spend a lot of time online, and I felt let out. So this is where, I met someone at work who gave me the attention, and we had the same entrepreneur views on business ideas etc. He was in a relationship where he had 3 little children. I was surprised the guy had 5 kids, and wasn't even considering him for a relationship anyway, but when I found this out I was like I would never go out with a guy who has that many kids!
As time passed on, we became more acquainted, ended up on the same project, and he had a type of clever energy about him that was refreshing to everyone around him.
We ended up staying overnight in hotels for projects, and began to built relationship.
I began to feel out of love for my partner, as we were not getting any quality time together. He wrote of my car 4 months after I met this guy. The day after my partner wrote off the car, I came home from work, after soughting out a hire car all day. My partner was frustrated with me, as his fingers hurt from trapping it in the door, so he said he couldn't wash up. I went to the toilet and he shouted to me to come and do it, I said give me a min, when I got downstairs, he started to become frustrated into my face, then we were having arguments around the house. I went upstairs to do my coursework, and made a decision not to stay with him if I'm scared of him, cause I don't want to bring a child into a frearful relationship.
So the next morning I took my stuff, didn't go back. When he called me during the say, I told him I'm not coming back.
Next month he put a lodger in, and was going out partying etc.
I became more acquainted with the new guy, and fell pregnant -yes I know stupid.
Well I didn't have it, the guy was very supportive. It was too early days for me, as I was scared about the guys other kids, and ex, and also didn't know if I was over my ex properly.
My ex has always held a torch for me, and came to propose on my doorstep a month after. I felt not a lot of good direction had changed for him, and wasn't sure it would be right to even consider it, seen as there was no grounds, so I said no.
It was hard as I still loved him, anyway the new boyfriend was trying his best to keep hold of me, and was desperate too, I couldn't upset him and ended up staying with him.
The next year we went away on hols for 6 weeks, to my home country, where me and the ex met. Wasn't easy, but we had good and bad times, I felt lonely being with hi at times, cause I missed so much attributes of my ex.
When we got back, I thought I can't carry on if I miss my ex so much.
I cooled it off a bit, as we were not loving with each other. My ex came and saw me on my birthday and bought me a lunchtime drink, he insisted so much, after exchanging a couple of online messages, after his birthday wishes message I sent. He said he wouldn't be able to anything with me at the weekend cause he's at carnival with the boys, I found out later on fb that he was with this girl he was seeing before that he said he split up with 2 months ago.
The new boyfriend, wanted to spoil me so much for my birthday, I spent the weekend with him and he made me a beautful meat and decorated the room with balloons.
Since then we have been seeing each other, but I have cooled it off once after that, saying I wasn't sure this was right, then again we meet up and just carry on. Dec comes and an accident occurs now Im 9 weeks, after considering to get rid and talking to him 2 weeks again, again we just carried on. I spent 2 days with him staying at mine, and although he did lots of stuff round the house for me, I felt that there was no intimacy, not sure what happened when he walked through the door, but we hit it off wrong, and seemed to effect the whole 2 days, and now I'm wondering if this is how it will be with him, and what if it doesn't work out, how will the child deal with the other 5 siblings, is that my ex gone for good, as he may not accept me with kids, I know that's a silly thing to think right now. If I am not sure if we are compatible in likes, lifestyle etc (he is 13 yrs older), do I get rid now, ad forever hold my piece, or do I stick it out and forever hold my piece?
Its long winded, I know I have been stupid, I am only human, some of us do get caught up, and yes the grass is not always greener, but temptation to try is out there.
I would appreciate sincere comments and advise, I can smack my own hand, as people in this situation often already know they've messed up, and should have done things differently.