We started as best friends. And we went into our 15 month long relationship continuing to be that way and everything was perfect. For the last month or so I've been ( not knowing) putting allot of pressure on him because we haven't spent very much time together. Ive also been talking to another boy I had history with( but was only friends with) and that was the breaking point for us. Ive always thought of him as my best friend first, it always seemed to make us stronger that way. A few days ago he said he needed time to think and space because he has a million things going on right now, like roles in two plays and applying for colleges. I freaked out at first begging him not to do this to me but we have been talking allot and agreed first to be best friends again. Well let me tell you its been a difficult few days trying to go back to friendship. So last night we both agreed to clear our heads and give each other some space and try things again. We both promised to work on ourselves and fix what we were lacking the first time around. Where do I go from here without smothering him?

Open, honest communication is key here. Talk to one another about thoughts, feelings, etc... Try not to pressure the relationship but rather enjoy it.

Part of our issue was the fact that he did everything for me and he felt like I never put an effort in, which I now realize is true. I want to do nice things for him and romantic things for him.. but I don't know when is too soon. I wish I could snap my fingers and everything would go back to normal, but normal isn't what's best for us

If your back together, starting now to change your behavior toward him, would be a good time.

Nope, not back together yet. But I'm doing my best to change my ways already.
He's on his way over so I can't be doing terribly

As a guy, I would be very pissed if my girlfriend was "talking" to an old guy friend. So I don't blame him. Also you can't be friends after a break up, believe me its just too many emotions. I'm a firm believer in NC even though its hard as HECK! It works. If u do want to work it out then communicate and take it easy, don't rush it.

Well were done forever but he's still my best friend
I don't know how it's working so far... but it is. I 100% believe we can be that way for ever

Threads merged.
The minute he saw me he said he was hooked. He tried so hard to be my friend and get to know me. This was 2 and a half years ago. At the time I still had another love interest and I wasn't completely sure of him. Soon after we became best friends we hungout all the time and he seemed to think id never date him so he got another girlfriend and stopped talking to me all together. 8 months later he saw me at work and emailed me the next day asking to see me and things just progressed from there.
We dated for a perfect year and 14 months.. he wanted to marry me and have kids with me and grow old with me and he said he's never been more sure of anything in his whole life. The last month wasn't so perfect. Our relationship got too serious to fast and we both didn't realize it at the time. He went home mad everyday because neither of us were putting in any effort anymore. Once we got out of the honey moon stage we forgot we needed effort to make things last. 4 days ago we broke up because I made him really mad and he claimed for the last 2 days he had to force himself to say he loved me. Feelings like that just don't die over night. I think with all the things he's doing right now, school, two huge roles in two different plays and a relationship that was stressful he needed a break to get his stuff together and we would stay best friends then he said we could try again. Well the next day he said he'd been thinking and he doesn't love me anymore and he doesn't think he can get those feelings back.
But he still talks to me like nothing every happened, were taking pictures together at prom(because he's too busy to go) we hangout, still together on the bus, share a locker and sometimes eat lunch together.
And everyone says its written all over his face he loves me to death, and I still think he looks at me the same way and he brought my books for me all the way to the caffeteria when he knew I didn't have class...
Do you think he's just having a VERY early life crisis and he freaked out?
Please help me because I need him

He needs some space for now. For him everything is falling apart so to speak. To soon to fast he cannot handle this and thus you being the one in his life is getting the raw end. Be patient, take it easy, give him room to breathe. Don't change just keep being yourself do not baby him. Things will eventually work out. Just takes some time.

The bus? Prom? Cafeteria? Are you like in middle school? Your probably to young to be dating, but anyway go no contact, your leaving yourself out to dry and die.

The only person you really need is yourself.
This is not the end of the world,it's a learning experience.

I suggest you have as little contact with him as possible.

You should get on with your life your schoolwork and your
Hobbies.
Good luck.

I think people take the word love too strongly, love is not a feeling, loving someone is a choice! So right now he is choosing not to love you for whatever reasons.
So the best thing to do like everyone else says, just give him no contact, walk the halls smiling and looking good!
If the relationship was as good as you thought for both of you, he will be back!
During this time, you should reflect on your relationship, on what triggered him to get so mad? why you two were not putting in any effort anymore? How it fell apart?What things you do to each other that annoys you?
How many more guys you will meet in college!
If you know those answers, they can definitely help you with future relationships! Or for this one not to end once again

Threads merged
We were best friends but deep down he always wanted to be with me.
We were friends for quite a while, but when he first kissed me I drunkly said it didn't mean anything and he over heard it and we stopped talking for a while.(needless to say, he's sensitive)
He dated another girl right after that to try and get over me and it lasted a little less than 6 months. We didn't talk for 8, but we ran into each other and he asked me to hangout.
So we did and we became best friends again and on nov 7, 2008 he asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes :)
We were always looked at as the perfect couple, always cute to one another and only argued once or twice through out our 15 month relationship.
He had been busy for the last few months of our relationship which sucked for me of course but I dealt with it.
Well I hung out with a boy I had history with(but it was very much over) and we talked quite a bit because my boyfriend was busy and I understood but still needed someone to talk to, so I confided in him.
One night my boyfriend my sister and her boy friend all drank together at my house and the boy I had history with asked if I would come outside and talk to him, so I asked my boyfriend and he said he was fine with it. So I went.
Well little did I know my boyfriend felt like I was choosing the other guy over him, and then next day he broke up with me.
He said he wasn't planning on doing it and he was just going to let it go but the more I bugged and asked what was wrong the more it hurt him.

Its been 2 and a half months and were best friends. We hangout, talk about important things, still hook up(which I know is stupid) and all that stuff. Its like a relationship without the label.
He's also asked me to live with him and called me beautiful a few times(which I know from experience only comes out of a boys mouth when they like you, otherwise you hear sexy or hot)
And when we hook up, he stays the whole night and cuddles with me..
But for the last week or so he's been really distant and I feel like maybe he's freaking out a little about this whole thing.

I have a gut feeling that it isn't over between us and I know he truly loved me and you can't just shut that off. I really hurt him and want to fix everything without further pushing him away.
Can someone please tell them what to do because I'd do anything for this boy. He's my whole world

I see a pattern, which all started with "drinking"

Often you don't get someone back, we pay the price for the choices we make in life

Define "distant"? Instead of acting like a couple, do you guys ever talk about what the freak your doing??

You should be talking to him about where this is going-if anywhere.

You may think he is your whole world, but how about you try to be happy with yourself,on your own?

I am happy, he just makes everything better.
I just feel like were throwing everything away and it hurts.
I just want one second chance with something in my life.
I want one good thing or good person that stays for a while..
I don't think that's too much to ask. He is my other half and eventually he will realize it because this has happened before.
It's just the waiting that sucks


Excuse me but for one I'm 18
And do you realize that "highschool sweethearts" have the lowest divorce rates.
Your probably too old and to bitter to be dating anyone

and do you realize that "high school sweethearts" have the lowest divorce rates.
Excuse me for not taking your word but show me the facts with a link that says that.

your probably too old and to bitter to be dating anyone
Uncalled for, especially from an emotionally confused, and distressed, 18 year old.

Your latest post is confusing.
What has high school sweetheart marriages to do with this?

And why do you think its OK to make rude comments about people who are giving you advice,based on their own experience?

Uhm I made a rude comment because he told me I was too young to be dating?
If you want to leave advice go for it.
But if someone comments negatively first I'm going to comment back.
Because the first post was uncalled for. Thanks to everyone who gave honest advice and not some snide comment

The rude posy was obviously deleted or something, I apologize for offending you.. my post wasn't directed to you. And I do appreciate your advice

How old are you and this guy?

18. I know it's young but all the best couples I've know met at a young age. My parents, grandparents, pretty much my whole family

18. i know it's young but all the best couples ive know met at a young age. my parents, grandparents, pretty much my whole family

Give him as much space as he wants. If it's meant to be . All couples are not alike and you should be thinking of College. Don't get married at such a young age or you both will look back and see you wasted the best years of your life.:)

Well I don't plan on getting married any time soon. But he's my best friend.
I want to give him all the space I can but I'm afraid I'm going to loose him forever. I need to at least be his friend if were not meant to be together. With all the things that we have over come that tried to push us apart... I have a gut feeling were meant to be in each other lives. Even if it's just as friends.

well i don't plan on getting married any time soon. but he's my best friend.
i want to give him all the space i can but i'm afraid i'm going to loose him forever. i need to at least be his friend if were not meant to be together. with all the things that we have over come that tried to push us apart... i have a gut feeling were meant to be in each other lives. even if it's just as friends.

Then give him space and see what happens. Good Luck

If he wanted to be friends with you he would, but you can't make him feel as you do. No one can and a forced friendship is never worth it.

You have to realize your "Best friend" has chosen a different path, and you must respect that. Who knows what will happen down the road, but for now leave it alone and carry on with your own life and eventually you will make new friends for yourself.

When the shock wears off, you will see that.

If he wanted to be friends with you he would, but you can't make him feel as you do. No one can and a forced friendship is never worth it.

You have to realize your "Best friend" has chosen a different path, and you must respect that. who knows what will happen down the road, but for now leave it alone and carry on with your own life and eventually you will make new friends for yourself.

When the shock wears off, you will see that.


Don't let this turn into a horrible relationship where you can't even be friends. I can tell you if you keep pursuing him, he will stop being even a friend.

Yeah, were still friends but it's hard acting like I don't care.
Apparently were "talking" tomorrow

yeah, were still friends but it's hard acting like i don't care.
Apparently were "talking" tomorrow

Good luck! :)

This is a bummer.. I know it is, but you have to listen to these guys and the guy you like. I did all the things that they said not to do before I ever knew this place existed. Well a month after my relationship ended I had been begging her for a chance and never giving her the space she asked for the whole time, and when I asked her why she won't try again she said "because you didn't give me any time at all to think and so I still don't have an answer for you". Days went by and I later asked her if she ever though of giving us a chance.. she again replies "I did, but I'm not sure I want to now". When I asked why she stated it was because I didn't leave her alone and it just proved how much I didn't change.
The moral of the story.. listen to them.. listen to this guy you like.. He clearly said he had a million things going on and he needed space. You're expecting him to believe you've changed and can give him space while pestering him about being back together and second chances. I know it's hard to see when it's your own problem, but take it from someone who possibly just lost the love of his life and the mother of his child for good by acting stupidly while claiming to have changed. You need space yourself to change and time to think about yourself to be that girl you used to be that he loved.
Give him space and he'll come back to you if he notices the truth in your change and the girl he once loved. I wish you luck my friend!

This is a bummer.. I know it is, but you have to listen to these guys and the guy you like. I did all the things that they said not to do before I ever knew this place existed. Well a month after my relationship ended I had been begging her for a chance and never giving her the space she asked for the whole time, and when I asked her why she won't try again she said "because you didn't give me any time at all to think and so I still don't have an answer for you". Days went by and I later asked her if she ever though of giving us a chance.. she again replies "I did, but I'm not sure I want to now". When I asked why she stated it was because I didn't leave her alone and it just proved how much I didn't change.
The moral of the story.. listen to them.. listen to this guy you like.. He clearly said he had a million things going on and he needed space. You're expecting him to believe you've changed and can give him space while pestering him about being back together and second chances. I know it's hard to see when it's your own problem, but take it from someone who possibly just lost the love of his life and the mother of his child for good by acting stupidly while claiming to have changed. You need space yourself to change and time to think about yourself to be that girl you used to be that he loved.
Give him space and he'll come back to you if he notices the truth in your change and the girl he once loved. I wish you luck my friend!






You need to let go.