I love my family. I have always been there for both parents, and my older sister and brother. Though they have always treated me like crap. Since I was a little kid I remember them always rediculing me for anything I did. I always tried to please them but no matter how good I did my parents never cared and told me they didn't really care and my older brother and sister would tell me off and say that no matter what they were still better than me. Don't get me worng; I never rubbed anything in their face. I was just a little kid happy that I did something right.

My dad is always working and he really has no control on what goes on at home, though he does take part in the ridicule once in a while. My mom is two faced. She will agree with my older sister and brother when they tell me off, shout, or hit me. She will say mean things to me once in a while, but when no one is around she is so nice to me and cries to me of how bad of a mother she is. She then will try to spoil me in order to make up for the things she's done. But later on she will just start being horrible; it's a cycle.

As I grew older I developed bad acne and gained a lot of weight. My family would torture me. They'd ridicule me and openly say how embarressed they were of me especially if they had to go out with me in public. I would get teased at school a lot about my acne and weight but it was never as bad as my family. I lost weight and managed to clear up my face and then my family started saying how vein I was about my looks

Although whenever they needed me I was always there because no matter how horrible they were they were still my family and I love them. I take care of my sister's children when she is really busy or has important things to do. I act as if my brother is the greatest brother in the world when his girlfriend is around. She is a sweet girl. I also help my parents pay bills and pay for everything I own.

Now I just figure I could never please them. I got into a good university, got a job, and I buy my own things, though I am not able to move out of the house. They still talk down to me. I've tried to express myself on how I feel about their treatment but they deny it and say I'm so ungreatfull for all they've done and given me.

When other fmaily members are around or guess my family treats me well. They are nice and considerate towards me. They brag about my accomplishes and make up stories about how we all celebrated after my dance concert, award ceremony, graduation, etc. . In reality they don't care about anything that I do and will tell me how much they don't care any chance they get. I'm starting to get desperate to the point that I look forward to company.

I really love my family even if they are terrible. I always manage to forgive them day after day, but as the years go by I'm starting to realize that I can't forgive them as much as I use too. I want to try family therapy because I think something is wrong with them mentally. Or maybe it's just that they don't really like me.

I've never been abused my parents only emotionally, but I've been abused by my older sister and brother when I was younger. It wasn't that bad, just slaps and pushes for no reason. I was a well behaved child mostly because I was too afriad to find out what they'd do to me if I wasn't. But I've let them know that they can't treat me like that any more. It seems that they are getting even more desperate. They yell at me in front of my friends and boyfriend in order to embarress me. Sometimes they treat my friends rudely. My older sister and brother just make fun of me in front of my boyfriend and try to get him to laugh and join them at it. He doesn't though.

All I know is that I need to get out of my house. I am planning and saving money so far. But I guess I don't know if I should continue seeing them. I've talk to my parents and all they do is get angry that I am abandoning the family. But if I go they want me to visit and they will visit me too. All I know is that if they disrespect me in my own home I'd kick them out and disown them.

I don't want to be near them anymore, but I want to see my baby nephews and niece. They don't treat them bad at all. They are very kind and patient with them. I'm at least glad they won't go through what I did as a child.

First of all, you always being there and trying to please them and trying to do everything for them and do things for them. Is your biggest mistake. They take you for granted and they treat you like crap. Partly because you allow it to happen.

Now, stand up for yourself. Emotional abuse can scar you even deeper then physical ones. The saying goes physical wounds can heal but emotional ones never really truly heal.

Instead of trying to please them and do things for them. STOP.

Start doing things for yourself and nobody else. Stop trying to please everyone because it will never get you any where in life.

Start living your own life, doing things for yourself.
Might be a big fight but they are trying to take credit for your achievements to make themselves look better but guess what maybe in a way you being treated the way you are is actually helping to push you too achieve better.

At the same time, you need to learn how to be motivated and live your own life and achieve your own goals without them nipping at your heels all the time, so to speak.

You know what, maybe you should be thankful for what you experienced and maybe the so called other children will be complete failures because of their behavior but maybe they need to be babied.

Not you.

Grab life by the balls and make something of yourself for you.

Joe

My son, who is a teenager, sometimes will say to my dad, "Grandpa, want a hug?" to which my Dad replies, "why?" It's the great family joke. Behind it is the fact that my father and mother were raised in homes where people didn't hug, didn't say "I love you" and never apologized. Faults were discussed because they needed attention to be solved, but achievements and positive attributes were not addressed because it was presumed that family member should already know they had the family's love, support and approval. I have a feeling your family is much the same way. It's not a lack of love, just a total discomfort and complete absence of experience in expressing it.

As we grew older my sister and I both made the decision that our households would be different. It started with our high school and college friends - we hugged our friends, told them how much they meant to us, apologized if we did something wrong. It was a safe place, outside of the family, to learn a new way to interact with people. When we each married and started families, we were much more demonstrative in our own homes. This is the opportunity you have as well.

Of course, our families became part of the extended family and everyone else softened too over time. Once we were more comfortable doing things like apologizing, or offering a hug, outside of the family, we began to do it within the family - first with one another, then with our Mom (who was the easiest one to soften up) and so on. Dad still doesn't like hugs unless he's getting on a plane or going into major surgery, and he's not great about apologizing but one time when he was wrong in how he treated me, he sent flowers the next day. I didn't have to have the words - it was fine. You take what people are able to give or you're always disappointed and end up undervaluing what they do give.

I would suggest that you look outside your family to your friends for positive reinforcement and a new way to interact, then continue more positive interactions when you have your own family. Over time, perhaps you can win over your parents and siblings - they are probably feeling like nobody ever says anything nice to them, either. How about starting a day with, "mom, you look great today", or "sorry I snapped at you earlier - that wasn't right".