I have a court order with my ex that we both are to provide the names of day care providers. HE will not let me meet his girlfriend who provides care for my son on Saturdays when he is at work every other weekend. Do I have a legal right to meet her and have her info? I don't feel comfortable with her watching him and not having her last name or meeting her. I have physical custody of my son and feel I should have a right to meet her. IS there a legal channel I can use? I just found out she watches him 3 weeks ago.

Unless he is actually paying her for the service of watching the child then she doesn't classify as caregiver like a babysitter would. Unless its in your court papers otherwise then you have no legal right to meet her.

Thank you for your reply. I have always introduced persons who are in my son's life to his father. He only sees him twice a month. Until this new girlfriend staying with him we had a amlicable relationship until Dec 09. He quit paying child support in full and refuses to let me meet this woman who takes care of him. I thought it was law that I have the right as a parent to meet any persons supervising my child. There is no loop hole?

Not that I am aware of unless it was written into the original documents. If there had been wording of advance warning and meeting of significant others then you would be covered. But the title of caregiver is usually a paid position in family law cases. In court you would be seen as medeling.

Do you call your child when they are there ? Does she answer the phone? That is a start to introduce yourself. But never push that line too far. If she is supporting him so he can evade child support then she doesn't understand that arrearages last a lifetime.

I do call sometimes to talk to my son. He only goes for 48 hours typically. I have gone up to the door being very polite and she hides in the bathroom.She refuses to meet and her influence on my ex has been terrible which short changes our son. I have been a very compliant ex for our child's sake. I had to get the child support agencey involved. We got along 3 years and now he's non compliant sir. Thank you for your advise.:)

I am going to have to get our custody agreement revised with a mediator. I just worry because her their character has been strange. He has been hostile so hopefully we can come up with an agreement through court.

If you use a mediator then you may not need a court. By both sides expressing their opinions you can come to an agreement that is sensible. And only if needed move it into court to have it ratified. And I applaud you for going that route. You might also look into what's called binding arbitration. They have that in some states for couples and you can get resolution that will stick in court.

It is a very reasonable request that you meet the person who is caring for your child.

Your child's father may feel the same way about any man in his sons life.

Talk as parents as well as the advice for a mediator.

Your going to be parents together for a long time,you really have to communicate and be friends and co parents.
Its vitally important.

It can affect your child how you communicate ,so get working on that.

Know that you both want the best and help Dad to understand where you are coming from about protecting your child by knowing who is caring for him.It is very understandable!

Well said Artlady.