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View Full Version : What does he mean?


CaseyHaydn
Feb 5, 2010, 10:29 PM
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 7 months and have been happy since we first started dating. But, when ever we are on the phone or texting and we are talking of our plans for the night... whether he's going off with the boys or I'm having a girl nights... He never tells me what he is doing and it's driving me insane! It been going on for 3 months and I'll tell him what I'm doing but he won't get back to me so I'm left questioning. If I question him why he never tells me he just laughs and says that he didn't think I cared but he keeps doing it.
Am I over re acting over something silly or is there something I'm not decoding right?

I wish
Feb 6, 2010, 06:31 AM
Doesn't seem like he takes you seriously. Sit him down and have a serious talk with him.

Don't settle for less. If he can't treat you the way you want, then find someone else who will.

jaime90
Feb 6, 2010, 12:22 PM
I agree with I Wish. Sit down and have a serious talk with this guy. He can't go off and do his own thing without letting his girlfriend know what's up. Has he ever had a girlfriend before to know how to treat her?

Trust is HUGE if a relationship is going to survive, and in order to gain your trust, he shouldn't be hiding ANYTHING from you. I would be wondering what exactly he is doing that he doesn't feel comfortable enough to tell you about. He NEEDS to tell you where he is going and what he is doing, not just because it is the right way to go about things, but what if something happened and you needed to contact him? If he can't do that, I would be re-considering him.

talaniman
Feb 6, 2010, 12:42 PM
I think he is playing with your mind because you keep asking, and he knows it annoys you.

JBeaucaire
Feb 6, 2010, 03:02 PM
I hate to be the voice of disagreement, but I don't think he's playing games at all. I think he's being himself.

I think that in this instance, him being himself bugs you. And I think it's OK that it bugs you.

I don't believe he has to change, and I don't think you have to put up with thing that annoy you.

But he might. And you can.

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I guess all I'm saying is that it has been 7 months. Pretty much all the behavior you see in the early months of dating is "showy courting" behavior. I won't call it fake, but it is overly polite, and our real nature is often suppressed.

At 7 months, that honeymoon period is ending. You two are starting to view the real character of each other.

This is an important time. This is the time you should be paying attention. Feel free to let him know how you feel about things, he will do the same (or he won't).

In essence, this it the time you can start actually evaluating your compatibility with each other. I am not talking about your feelings FOR him, I'm talking about your ability to be WITH him, as he is.

It's OK for him to do things without telling you. It is not disrespectful, even if you decide to call it so. It's not. It just bugs you and it's not something YOU would do. That doesn't make it wrong, it makes it undesirable. I do hope you're able to see the difference and deal with the implications of that.

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Final thought... if you two turn out to have too many incompatible behaviors now that the honeymooning period is over, be honest about that. It would be AWESOME if you could break the mold here and discover you two don't belong together long-term and actually part as friends.

Most people can only stop dating someone amidst a flurry of anger and frustrating fights. That's so unnecessary. It may simply be the "real" you and the "real" him are not a long-term thing. That's perfectly fine.

Isn't it?