I work in South Carolina and live in North Carolina I want my employer to take my state tax out for North carolina how do I get them to do this

Please clarify - do you want your employer to stop withhoilding SC tax and start withholding NC in its place? If you work in SC then you owe SC income tax, and your employer is obligated to withhold SC income tax from your pay, so they will not stop withholding for SC. Or do you want them to withhold some additional tax for NC on topof what they are already withholding for SC? That may be possible, but only if your employer has set up a tax ID with NC. If it's a small company this is unlikely, and so your recourse is to file estimated tax forms on a quarterly basis with NC.