Okay why back a few years ago a judge told me that my ex was to file taxes with my son as a dependent and I was going to be able to file for my son the next year so when I filed my ex also filed for my son saying I had no right and so now I have to file for an admenment I am I going to have to pay any money back

What did the court order say? Its not unusual for an order to state alternating years.

Yes what does the court order say, if the court order says you can file every other year, you do, no matter what ex wife says.

So if the judge "said it" did they write it into the order, it is common