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View Full Version : How long after a break up to try to talk to him


Geiger
Feb 2, 2010, 01:02 PM
My boyfriend dumped me at the weekend over a stupid argument. He has removed all photos from Facebook, changed his relationship status and given me back all my stuff in just 2 days.
I still love him though and he still 'likes' my activities, texts me. I am so confused. Is it over or not?

Romefalls19
Feb 2, 2010, 01:08 PM
Sure seems that it's over, don't worry about that Facebook stuff, it really has no meaning. Delete him as a friend and start no contact, you will heal in time. Don't rush it

talaniman
Feb 2, 2010, 01:14 PM
Ignore him and his texts and disappear from his life and never contact him again.

You never let someone dump you and act like its okay. Are you crazy??

Geiger
Feb 2, 2010, 02:03 PM
Yeah I guess, its just so much happened between us, such a history I can't believe its over. He still tells me when our favorite program is on, called when I went away on holiday yesterday just to check he could contact me.

mistyjane
Feb 2, 2010, 02:21 PM
If all he founds interesting to do after breakup is rushing and changing his Facebook status and delate photos... It is immature. He dumped you over something stupid. Please do you think someone who loves and care for you would do this?NO
Calling to check if he can contact you on holiday? Sounds like he doesn't want you to be able to take a break from him, enjoy yourself and find out how much you can have fun wihout him.

talaniman
Feb 2, 2010, 02:24 PM
Keeping in touch with you after dumping you works great for him, and his ego, but be honest, what does it do for your ego, dignity, self respect, and well being??

Accepting bad behavior, brings more bad behavior!

Geiger
Feb 3, 2010, 04:10 AM
Thank you so much everyone. Had a great night out last night with my girl friends and am getting stuck into my holiday. Really appreciate all your advice, it sure has helped :) You all are doing great things for people and you certainly did for me x

amicon
Feb 3, 2010, 05:47 AM
Enjoy more good nights out and have a great holiday.

I wish
Feb 3, 2010, 10:13 AM
The early stages of a break up can be really tough, especially when you have a lot of history, but time does heal all wounds.

Stay busy and keep moving forward. Don't look back.

Cat1864
Feb 3, 2010, 11:05 AM
I am glad you are having fun. I hope you have a great holiday. :)

When you have the moments of weakness where you feel like you have to contact him, keep this thought in mind: He not only sounds immature but he sounds like he is trying to control how you deal with the break-up.

He breaks up with you, makes it 'public', gives your stuff back and expects you to put up with it and still be friendly with him. You should be free to heal and move on in a way that works for you. By going No Contact and having absolutely no communication with him (don't answer calls, delete messages and texts, de-friend him, etc.), you are taking back control.

Good luck. :)

Geiger
Feb 4, 2010, 03:20 AM
We are now just friends. Apparently we get on better this way. Well I am not prepared to be this way with him, my emotions are still too raw. He appears to have forgotten all of his 'feelings' for me so probably never had any. I have decided to not have any contact. He needs to realise he can't pick and chose when he's with me. I have got to move on, not keep messing with my head.

amicon
Feb 4, 2010, 03:49 AM
Good decision-no contact and heal from the breakup.
Have you read the advice in the stickies at the top of the relationship page.

neverme
Feb 4, 2010, 03:55 AM
Take back your power, seems like this guy expected to just walk in and out of your life and change his relationship with you as and when he pleased.

I'd have a few choice words for him!?

But then I'd take a breath, tell myself how much better I am than this trivial BS and remember that my life, emotions and thoughts do not revolve around him.

You're doing great, it'd not easy but you are on to a great start.

Best of Luck. :)

pureorganic
Feb 4, 2010, 12:37 PM
IF he dumps u over an argument and then gets very impulsive and irrational and starts deleting u from evertything and give u back everything then he sounds like an immature idiot that wouldn't know a good girl if it fell from the sky and wiggled in his face. I say move on from the looser... he's just trying to make u run back to him and see u squirm for him. Cut the contact and move on, then will really see who ends up doing the squrming!
Good luck!

Cat1864
Feb 4, 2010, 12:44 PM
I have decided to not have any contact. He needs to realise he can't pick and chose when he's with me. I have got to move on, not keep messing with my head.

Keep those thoughts firmly in mind. NC won't be easy, but it is easier than playing his game.

Good luck. :)