Hello, I am feeling confused and scared. I live in BKLYN, NY. I have 2 kids by one man and 3rd child by another. My children's father is bitter that he pays a lot of money to me for child support. He is well off and makes a lot from his profession as an rapper/entertainer. (Understand that I was with him before he made it. And I supported him in his career). He is super busy and lives a hectic, gregarious lifestyle with lots of traffic in his home. He got married last year and I am on my way to a divorce by Aug.2010.

I have several police reports from my estranged husband and a DV (Domestic Violence) I was awarded an order of protection Jan. 2008. During my quarrels with my estranged husband, my children were not present. My kids father having knowledge of this and my moving 3 times last year he decided to judge me as being unfit and unstable with our children.
1st move was from my husband DV case.
2nd move was the bills were too high, without my husband's help.
3rd move was to another boro (Bronx) to honor the Order of Protection. Nov. we sat down and had made an unwritten agreement that he would keep my kids during the school week and I have them on the weekends. I was stationed with my relatives in the Bronx for 4weeks with my 3 yr old toddler, waiting for an apt which didn't become available until the 2nd week of Jan.2010. My children (daughter 10 & son 13) complained about their father's constant arguing with his wife and they wanted me back in Bklyn.

My instincts didn't trust that all was good so I moved back to BKLYN (SMH) 12/23/2009.

Child services had been called 2wice on me for bogus and vindictiveness of my ex. They closed both cases & noted it as unfounded.

Because he didn't want to pay child support, my children's father called Child Services on me, went to court and informed me of our court date next month for custody (which they denied him of) and reduced child support/or termination! He is on tour in europe right now and I haven't been served the papers yet. I am livid, I am nervous because I don't make as much money as him. I honestly have grew dependent on his child support money. I did not keep all the receipts I spent on my children because I didn't think we would be back in court! I am an occasional drinker & I don't do drugs. I live a simple life with my children.

My kids father is known to pay people off to get what he wants. I wouldn't be surprised if he paid our case worker. Child Services will be at my home tomorrow and I am scared about the questions she will ask me. I don't know what to do. She asked me for a series of paperwork to show her. Should I wait until the court date? My children love me very much and was adamant about living with me for I have been nurturing, loving and raising them while their father was on tours, traveling, etc.

I am not perfect but I know I am an awesome mother. Any suggestions as to what to expect from this situation I am in? Is there any hope? I am praying like crazy.

Thank you for your patience on this lengthy note.

P.S. I forgot to mention that I have physical custody of our children and he and I have joint custody. Thank you. He is fighting for sole custody. Smh

I am not clear if you are worried about the Child Services worker coming out or the impending court case. If you are worried about the visit with the CS worker, they will ask to see all legal paperwork and ask you about the allegations that led to the CS report being generated.

Thank you. I've been offered an apt in public housing in the Bronx. I am seriously thinking of taking it because I can afford it by myself. I am willing to reduce the child support as well. In terms of legal paperwork, I don't have all of the reciepts to show what I've spent his money on. Sigh. My concern is will it hurt me if I move again(longterm/stability) to the projects(I can afford alone) from living in a 3 bedroom duplex for 2300? My children loves me and don't mind but their father will go crazy if he finds out. Can the courts give him custody if I make this move to the projects? Thank you for your reply.

In the state where I live, the expectation for the parents is that they provide stable housing. The neighborhood the parents live in does not factor into the court's decision here in my state.