I have a boyfriend and we've been going out for 3 months now.. and we never had sex, he more much like doing oral sex instead of having sex with me, and make me tired doing oral sex.. please give me some advice

Gail

Please don't post the same question twice.

Have you asked about this? What has he said?

Oral for both of you or only for him?

I am just afraid to bring it up with him.. we've been doing oral for 3 months now, and it makes me tired of it

i am just afraid to bring it up with him.. we've been doing oral for 3 months now, and it makes me tired of it
Oral for both of you?

Yes from both of us

What should I do? Should I break up with him?

what should i do? should i break up with him?
He IS having sex with you -- oral sex.

You'd dump him without finding out?

How old are you?

The first time we did I asked him if he has protection he said we don't need that yet.. and we ended up on oral

the first time we did i asked him if he has protection he said we don't need that yet.. and we ended up on oral
He's a moron if he thinks you NEVER need protection. Maybe its time you taught him about STD's BESIDES pregnancy. He clearly wasn't paying attention in Health class.


How old are both of you? This IS important. Please answer it.

I am 26 and his 41. He said we don't need protection YET.. and didn't realize that were just end up doing ORAL. We've been going out for 3 months now and most of the time we only do oral..

If you can't talk to a man about sex, you shouldn't be having sex, of any kind with him.

i am 26 and his 41. he said we dont need protection YET.. and didnt realize that were just end up doing ORAL. we've been going out for 3 months now and most of the time we only do oral..

I suppose the question is why you're only having oral sex. Is it because you don't have condoms, or because your relationship hasn't progressed to the sex stage yet.

From what I have read of the thread, I would venture on the latter. My interpretation of the question, and the situation, is that your sex life is completely oral and you would like it to take it to the level of full on intercourse. Your question is: How do I do this?

Talk to him. See what his expectations are. Why is he stuck in the oral world? Does he just like head, or does he think that the relationship hasn't progressed to that point.

You shouldn't have any fear of talking to your partner.

I hope that helps.

EDIT: Question: Does he have any erectile issues? Perhaps a psychological issue? Has be been tested for STDs since you have been going out?

Sounds odd to me... even more so knowing he's that old. I'd expect that from an 18 year old... not a 40 something guy.

But that does change the perspective a little.

Oral is great if its with someone who is good at it. But at that point his reluctance for intercourse (with a condom) is unusual. Particularly since you have not done that yet.

And incidentally... Oral sex is still sex. Its even more intimate than vanilla intercourse is.

After all, how do you know where its been before? That's what I like to tell girls that think oral is nothing at all to do and is a substitute for "Real" sex.

Picture that he had it in some pimply fat woman's butt recently ( or unless you REALLY know him) up some other guys butt.

Makes you think? Doesn't it. :eek:

Just a reminder... there are a lot of STD's that can be transmitted via oral sex. Just so you don't think it's a perfectly safe activity.

I asked him if he has condom when we first did the oral and he said: WE Don't NEED THAT YET(CONDOM) his kind of guy that passionate on oral.. am I expecting so much from him?

How much do you two talk about anything? Is your relationship primarily oral sex? Do you do anything else like go to the movies or out to eat?

You need to sit down fully clothed and have a discussion with him about where your relationship is going (in bed and out of bed). Three months may seem like it is too soon for that type of discussion, but this male is holding all the cards and you seem to be playing his game. That needs to stop. You both need to work together if there is going to be any type of relationship.

You can make the choice to stop having oral sex and let him know that it isn't enough. That is part of holding a mature discussion about what you expect in bed. From there you can work out a compromise.

You are old enough to buy condoms. Why don't you get some to have on hand?

If he gets upset and tries to turn everything around to make you feel bad or leaves, then you have your answer about what he thinks of your relationship. If he tries to coerce you into continuing things the way they are with no explanations then there is another answer for you.

Hun, I agree with the comment above.. you need to tlk to him about everything. Ask him, basically.. what's UP? Lol. You need to be honest, lol. I also agree with something said before in this thread.. If you can't tlk about sex, why are you having it? Lol. You two are in a physical relationship, be opennn.. lol. Maybe he doesn't know if you're ready, etc etc.. And maybe, as said before, he does have some type of medical problem, lol. Communication is the key, to a relationship.. no matter how far you are into that relationship.. lol. And seeming as you get naked with one another.. you can tlk.. Hope I helped.. :D

Thanks for all the advices.. its so hard for me to bring it up and talk about it.. his such a nice guy, sweet, caring but something is missing.. his more on oral, and kind of sadistic pleasure.. he had past relationship before that lasted years n years..

Its not just all about in bed.. we always go out, watch movie, play bowling, golf watch shows etc.

Anyone can give me a website that I can get tips for sadistic ideas? But pleasurable?

Have you heard anything that was said here? Are you going to take any of it on board?


Also, Define sadistic?

anyone can give me a website that i can get tips for sadistic ideas? but pleasurable?That's not my area as I'm not into that sort of thing... but I do know that is a mighty broad topic.

And not every part of it is going to appeal to any one person who IS into that sort of thing.

THAT is something you really do need to talk with him about to get a far more specific answer.

Compare the topic to this... a child says he likes candy. Does that mean they would like every variety of candy that's ever been made? Most certainly not. There will be some they like and some they don't.

anyone can give me a website that i can get tips for sadistic ideas? but pleasurable?

Let me preface the following comments by saying that these are from a 'sub' (If you don't know what that means, then you have a lot to learn before trying to get ideas):

This is actually a good starting point for a discussion about expectations in the bedroom. If he is a long time practitioner, I am sure that he has materials that you can ask him to show you.

DO NOT do anything until YOU are comfortable with the idea.

DO NOT do anything just to please him. It has to be something that YOU want to do. Otherwise, you will lose respect for him or come to resent his concept of pleasure.

Keep these three words firmly in your mind when having discussions about the topic, checking out ideas, and especially when trying anything out: SAFE, SANE, and CONSENSUAL.

Anyone here that know a website that I can look up for sadistic types kind of thing

Like sadistic pleasure for a couple..

Google 'sadistic sexual practices'.

I'm sure you'll find a wealth of information, but really anything that you do in the bedroom that is outside of 'vanilla sex' should be discussed and explored together.

Do you feel you have a pretence of knowledge to keep up? That is a slippery slope to go down. As Cat said you need to be comfortable with everything that you do. If you are not, agreeing to something could not only finish this relationship but affect you beyond it.