I'd ask about it the addiction section, but everyone seems to be asking how to fake a swab test and how long a certain drug will stay in your body. So I don't think I will get much feedback there.

My best friend of 15 years is addicted to heroin. He's been hooked since we were at least 17 or 18. The drugs have taken an awful toll on his body and mental function. And it's really taken a toll on our friendships as well.

It's basically three of us. Me sand_storm, Danny, and our best friend Marc who is addicted to heroin. For nearly more than a year Danny and I have tried hard to convince him to go to rehab. He refused and only made the excuse of being too scared to face his demons and too scared to go into detox because he'd have to go cold turkey.

Finally after several failed attempts of intervention, he himself got his act together for a bit to go into detox and is getting ready to leave for rehab. We support him so much and are always there for him. He says he feels alone and depressed which is the reason why he does it. But we have always been there. And we have lives that cannot take a back seat to tend to him.

Danny has resently given up on Marc and he's pretty much moving on friendship wise with me as well. I feel as if I'm the only one who is there for Marc, and sometimes my boyfriend Chris.

I love my best friend, he's like my brother, and we've been through so much. I'm starting to feel like I want to give up too. It's just too much for me right now. Am I being selfish? Danny moved on because he once told me it's like beating a dead horse. As ugly and insensitive as it sounds I know he's right. Danny pretty much has his own issues to work on that have distant us.

I want to be there and have been there for Marc, but in the end whatever he chooses to do is up to him only. I really know that. But I don't know if I should give up, let him face his own demons, and move on with my life as well..

As long as we've been best friends; the three of us have pretty much outgrown each other in mnay ways. Marc is into drugs and hangs out with very questionable people, and I'm not being a snob, I live in the same ghetto neighborhood as him. Danny just smokes weed all day, plays video games with his nerdy friends who just smoke weed all day.

I'm going to school and have to help out my household.

sand_storm that is a really excellent post. You should be proud of yourself for being there for your friend all this time, I know it must be hard watching him downward spiral like that. It is a busy world and as much as we would like to maintain necessities of life for us and our friends, it just is not possible.

You can't just shove him in rehab without his consent, we all know that. He has to come to that conclusion himself but it sounds like he hasn't really got the backbone to face up to his addiction.

There isn't much I can say, there are many websites I could access, but as you sound like a really intelligent person, I think you have probably done all that searching yourself somewhere along the line.

I know you will support him no matter how busy you are with family, school and probably a part time job.

I hope you will get many replies to this wonderful post, but I am afraid it is going to be moral support only as there isn't much we can do to assist you.

Ms tickle

There is only so much you can do,at some point your friend has to take control and deal,if he wants to get clean and is making an real effort,then by all means continue with your freindship and support,if not,for me,I would walk away,and I have done.

Its not easy watching someone you love destroy their lives,and it can be so draining on your own resourses.

So the choice would seem to be clear.

Either he makes a concerted effort to get clean,or you walk.

The cleaner he is while you tell him this the better.

Its unfortunate that you can't decide for others. He is on his journey and you are on yours. You can be in the back ground as a shadow for him. But if you step outside the box your really hurting the both of you. It could be that part of his sadness comes from his inability to contribute on levels you and your friends have given. So at this point until he decides he can give back and contribute ( by staying straight ) then its only a reminder how far he has fallen. The best you can do is remain in the shadows and pray. And if he goes all the way to kicking the habit then you can step into the light with him to strengthen him once again. He and you both have to remain equals. Right now he is not. Whatever you decide remain strong in your decision and resolve. Good luck.

Thank you all so much. This is really insightful. I have looked up so many books and websites but I've come to the same conclusion. I just wanted to ask someone who doesn't know me or Marc so that I could have a non bias opinion, even if I did share some of my own suffering.

I see that all I can do is pray and be there for him. I just hope this time he comes around. Hopefully Danny will come around as well.

thank you all so much. This is really insightful. I have looked up so many books and websites but i've come to the same conclusion. I just wanted to ask someone who doesn't know me or Marc so that i could have a non bias opinion, even if i did share some of my own suffering.

I see that all i can do is pray and be there for him. I just hope this time he comes around. Hopefully Danny will come around as well.

I can tell you are a strong person, and he has a great friend !

Tick