I like this girl for over a year now and when I met her she had a boyfriend and apparently it wasn't going that great with her boyfriend which made me a shoulder after a while I started having feelings for her and I told her and she said she felt the same way.. after a while her boyfriend found out about her shoulder nesting habits and she forbid her to talk to me but she claimed she was starting to have feelings for me however she stopped talking to me and after 4 months she came back to me she IM'ed me my heart started pounding I was so happy so I asked if they were still together and she said yes but I was still there for her as a friend.. anyway after a while she asked to hang out after her classes and I was like sure I was in heaven.. well that same day.. we kissed.. it was the moment you could say haha.. anyway after we kissed we text like crazy talking about it and what not.. after a couple of weeks she broke up with her boyfriend and I thought she was going to have something with me but she was like I'm not ready and so on and so fort.. we kept kissing we had sex we did everything a normal couple would we were basically dating with out titles.. after 5 months she goes see her ex and she got attached to him and she was ready to drop me off her life again for him.. but something happened he got mad and he didn't want her in her life.. so she came back to me.. me being a I took her back.. and we started talking about really having something serious now.. but we didn't see each other as much.. she was always busy or never had time to see me.. she was too busy hanging out with friends well it came down to a point that she will not pick up my phone calls anymore.. and I started blowing up her cell phone I guess you could say until she answered.. and once she answered she used to fight with me and hang up the phone and now next thing I know she's talking to some other guy..


I just want her back and I want to know how I can do that..

You may think you want her back but let me point things out to you.

- She cheated on her boyfriend with you. What makes you think she wouldn't cheat on you?
- She jumped from her boyfriend, right to you then back to her boyfriend and then back to you and then to this new guy. What are you expecting to change?

Answer me those questions, honestly

Yea I know I've asked myself the same question over and over again.. but I think if I treat her right she won't she's my best friend I want her back.. that's all I can tell you as stupid as it sounds

You got to see this for what it is. She's a psycho/damaged goods.

Stay away. I know your friends with her, etc, but she is just going to continue this cycle until she gets a reality check.

Save yourself the heartache and risk of STD's.

Oh and she came today with this bull

I liked you but your not my type sorry I was like ?

Could we get your and her age as a reference?

A serial cheater and you think you want her back?

Get off the rollercoaster and count your lucky stars that you found this out sooner rather than later.

Stay well away from her and get on with your own life.

We're both 19 haha


I understand how stupid it sounds haha but for some weird reason I miss her like crazy :) and nothing I do can make me get my mind off her I haven't seen her in 3 weeks now I have this silly idea that if we see each other things would be fixed because before all this happening we had like 2 weeks with out seeing each other

No contact is the only way to get over this relationship,if it's the drama and emotional high this girl gives you,try something else,a sport perhaps.

You already know this relationship is toxic to you,you know she cheated,you have suspicions she is with someone else... listen to yourself!

She has told you,you are not her type.

She does not want you.

I know I should listen to myself, I haven't seen her in about 3 weeks now.. and the minute I think I'm getting over her she calls to say hi.. so she keeps me attached.. and like gives me hope by calling cause I mean if you don't want anything to do with me why are you calling me you know..

You're the guy in the wings,you're the fan club and boost her ego.

Delete her number,ignore her calls,she will get the message.

The sooner you start to deal with the breakup,the sooner you will recover and maybe meet someone worth your time and effort.

Say no to your ex.

I deleted her number haha but I know her number by mem xD so it doesn't really help.. and the minute I start missing her I text her or something.. and most of the time I won't even get an answer back.. and that makes me miss her more and want her more.. but I'm going to move on I guess.. there's nothing I can really do

Texting her to get a fix will not serve you,and what are you missing?

Being treated badly,being used?

Concentrate on yourself esteem,work on yourself and realise every time to make contact your undoing all the no contact you tried so hard for.

Well she wasn't always like this I'm in love with the person she was before all this started she was AMAZING like I never had anyone treat me better the first couple of months then she started changing.. but I still think that that person I fell in love with is around there somewhere.. that's why I'm hoping

I'm guessing she's really pretty?

I can't see anything good about this girl from everything you told us.

Basically:

1) She's a cheater, how well can she treat you while she's in a relationship with another guy...

2) She used you as a backup plan (i.e. she knew how you felt, so she can talk to any guy she wants, knowing that she can always come crying to you)

3) She used you for her enjoyment, as friends with benefits.

4) If she really cared about you, she wouldn't mess around with your feelings and give you all that false hope.

5) When you finally become serious, she's conveniently busy (i.e. she never wanted to be serious, just trying to please you, in case she looses you as the back up)

I'm also guessing that you miss the sex too?

Quit being stepped on and find someone else to have a real relationship with.

*Check out my signature for threads relating to NC.

My dad always told my that hoping is for people who are scared to give up. You have to cut your losses with this girl, you are only making it worse on yourself

Still miss her.. and nah it wasn't all about the sex we bearly had sex but when we did I have to admit it was amazing but through this process we had sex like 3 times maybe.. it was about the way she made me feel before she became a :)

Take off the rose tinted glasses,and read your own post.

Mostly we all like the beginning of a relationship because we are so smitten,she did not have a personality transplant,it just that you did not want to see the real her...

I'm not saying she was all bad,only that now reality has set in,she has told you quite harshly she does not want you,she has caused you to become needy and desperate for any crumbs from her table...

Is that the type of person you want to be?

An option in someone's life

After a couple of months is when you start getting to know someone-during the so called honeymoon period, most people are on their best behaviour.

Its time to go complete NC and ignore her.

You need to realise that its over and start healing.

Still miss her.. and nah it wasnt all about the sex we bearly had sex but when we did i have to admit it was amazing but through this process we had sex like 3 times maybe.. it was about the way she made me feel before she became a :)

From reading all your responses, it doesn't really sound like you're suffering too much. What exactly do you need help with?

Do you really want her back? It doesn't even seem like she will hurt you, even though she's a cheater. If that's the case, then you have nothing to loose by trying again.

But if you are in fact suffering, then quit torturing yourself and cut your ties with her.

Well I known her for a year and for that year she was everything I hope she would be.. I guess I instigated a bit too much too.. but I'm healing slowly each day I realize that this is over regarding what she tells me we talked yesterday well I talked she just ignored me.. So I'll give up on calling her or texting her..


I just want her back.. not for who she is but how she made me feel.. I feel miserable with out her.. she became part of my life.. to be honest I don't care if its as a girlfriend or not just as a friend but she won't even speak to me so there must be something I can do

I agree with everyone else, let her go and make her own mistakes.

Yes you will hurt, yes it will be hard and yes you will try and get her back

BUT

Even if you did get her back what's to say she won't dump your in a month or two, then you will start this process all over again.

Trust me when I say its better to let go now and deal with it than waste your life trying to get her back only to be hurt again.

Lifes too short my friend, there's millions of girls out there all waiting for you too ditch the b!tch

First, get a grip on yourself. It'll be all right, believe in that.

Next, step back from the whole situation. Put your feelings aside and really see the positive(s) and negative(s) here. You seem to be reacting to your feelings rather than rational thought.

Read what you just wrote- 'she won't speak to me'.

Take it from there and start getting over her.

Haha yea I'm just going to keep myself busy thanks though :)

I just want her back.. not for who she is but how she made me feel.

When in love, you love a girl for who she is AND how she makes you feel. It looks like to me that you feel comfortable with her but look, anyone can make you feel that way you just have to be open minded and look.

This girl is trouble. She doesn't know what or who she wants. She bounces around between men and Im sure you are not the only guy she has made feel this way. Let her go. Don't call, don't text, don't. You are young and have all the time in the workd to meet someone that will care solely for you.

Yea I'm trying to keep myself together here.. not calling her nor texting her is killing me at the moment haha

It might hurt for some time believe me I know. But through time it will get easier. Try being with some one for 3 years and going NC. Its tough but you can do it. I still get the urge every now and then but I tell myself its not worth it and really, its not. If she wanted you she would make it known and she obviously doesn't. You can't make her love you as much as you want to. It sux, just be cool.

Stay up buddy!

I'm up man haha but I still miss her

I'm up man haha but I still miss her

I hate to be the one to point this out, but whenever you use "haha's", it's difficult to take you seriously and it's difficult to tell if you're actually suffering.

If you don't feel any pain, then just keep trying to attempt a friendship, but there's no guarantee that she will return those feelings. There's a reason she's no longer communicating with you. Eventually you will have to respect her decision.

I do respect her decision which is why I've tried not to contact her in anyway I'm letting her see if she comes to me.. and the Haha is more of suffering.. Laughing instead of crying I guess you could say

After re-reading your original post I have come to the conclusion that she is a USER.

Im sorry but that's how I see it.

Here's what you need to do...

Get a TV
Get either Xbox 360 or PS3
Get Modern Warfare 2
Get online

You'll soon forget about her lol

No contact is about accepting the situation and moving on with your life. It's a tool to help you heal. There's a misconception that if you ignore her long enough, she will contact you.

She already knows how you feel about her, if she wanted something more, she would contact you, she wouldn't make you wait around.

I was in a similar situation as you when I first joined the forum: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/like-girl-who-has-boyfriend-319890.html

Check out the advice I received, you'll see that it's very similar. I suspect that you will get more insight.

Also, check out the links in my signature about no contact.

I'm going to try my best to get over her.. :)