PDA

View Full Version : How lucky was he?


talaniman
Jan 28, 2010, 10:58 AM
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years.

The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor, she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.

The years went by and he continued to rip them out. Then one christmas day morning, as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the innards, neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts, and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling the bed covers back, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic foot steps as he ran into the bath room. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.

About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what the matter was. He said, 'honey you were right.all these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you'. What do you mean, asked his wife? Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of god; with some vaseline and two fingers…i think I got most of them back in.

Cat1864
Jan 28, 2010, 11:06 AM
Yick. Just, yick. :(

However, it was also a good laugh. :)

Catsmine
Jan 28, 2010, 12:35 PM
Did she ever sleep with him again?

oscarlicous
Jan 28, 2010, 01:05 PM
Well, he can't say he had his head up his butt, but at least he can say a neck was ;)

twinkiedooter
Jan 28, 2010, 04:43 PM
Hilarious. Loved it. She sure got him back... good.

sergie
Jan 28, 2010, 06:46 PM
Now that did killed the fart, didn't it?

Stringer
Jan 28, 2010, 08:27 PM
All I can think of is "Holy Crap!!!" I liked it Tal.

neverme
Jan 28, 2010, 09:16 PM
Hey Tal! That was eh... not so nice. :D

Alty
Jan 28, 2010, 09:38 PM
ROTFLMAO! I've heard it before but it never gets old. Love it Tal! That poor guy. Na! ;)

Stringer
Jan 28, 2010, 10:01 PM
ROTFLMAO! I've heard it before but it never gets old. Love it Tal! That poor guy. Na! ;)

Taught him not to be insensitive didn't it? :rolleyes:

Alty
Jan 28, 2010, 10:07 PM
Taught him not to be insensitive didn't it? :rolleyes:

And to never underestimate a woman! ;)

Stringer
Jan 28, 2010, 10:08 PM
And to never underestimate a woman! ;)

Dangerous sex if not cuddled and pampered. :)

Alty
Jan 28, 2010, 10:11 PM
Dangerous sex if not cuddled and pampered. :)

LOL! Thanks for the giggle Stringer. :)

Stringer
Jan 28, 2010, 10:14 PM
LOL! Thanks for the giggle Stringer. :)

Truth... stranger than fiction. So many warnings: Heaven knows no greater wrath... and so on. But thank heaven that women can calm the beast that resides in a lot of men... :)

Alty
Jan 28, 2010, 10:51 PM
And thank goodness a lot of men can calm the beast that resides in women. :)

amicon
Jan 29, 2010, 02:37 AM
Well,that's one turkey properly stuffed then.. .