Hi there, I need help I live with my boyfriend but have bn having feelings for a male friend, I used to have a crush on him years ago and we went out for a while but different things happened. But now speaking to him again brings everything back I don't know what to do! We nearly met up but we came to our senses and didn't but I can't stop thinking about him help

Well - step one. Obviously you're done with your current guy - end that first. Move out - move on.

Only - the ncan you move into

Buyer be warned - the flame may have differnet intensions

You also need to see why you have your feelings - are you done with the current guy?

How old are you?

What problems ARE YOU HAVING WITH THE CURRENT guy.

Things are ALWAYS greener on the other side of the fence until you are n the other side of that fence.

You can't have yopur cake and eat too. This could turn out to very ugly for you.

Are you cravin gattention your current guy just won't give? Is this an insecuroty issue? Selfesteem?

You do seem like you are done with the current guy. Are you? Are you prepapred to lose him on the chance of an old flame that never worked out?

Eve if you are done with your current guy I am a strong advocate against rushing into another relationship. It is called a rebound and never works.

After the demise of a relationship we need some time to ourself to learn and reflect. Rushing to be with someone else doesn't give us this chance and that relationship will often suffer and ultimately end. Then the cycle begins again until we get to a point where we have been constantly in relationships and we don't know who we are anymore.

Anyway, you have some serious thinking to do and questions to ask of yourself.

Al I ask is that you be honest to yourself and honest to your boyfriend. Don't string him along, cheat or be dishonest. Don't toy with another persons feelings. The truth may hurt him but not as much as the lie will!

But think long and hard before making rash decisions!

Having thoughts of others is a normal part of life even when in a committed relationship, but it sounds like you are going further than that when you say you nearly acted on them. So it works like this.

Break up with current boyfriend and check out the old crush BUT know going in that in "trading up" like that, you don't get to ever get the old boyfriend back and please don't post one of those "How do I get him back" deals, okay? LOL

Or

Remain with current boyfriend and for the welfare of both of you, quietly close the door on old crush - it is what mature people do. And don't claim you can't close the door on him because we are too likely to show you where it's a won't, not a can't.

Anything else is going to buy you some really bad karma which tends to mess up relationships yet to come-- you only need read all the threads here to know that one.

I hope that helps and... Good luck!

Hi there, i need help i live with my boyfriend but hav bn havin feelings for a male friend, i used to have a crush on him years ago and we went out for a while but different things happened. But now speaking to him again brings everything back i don't know what to do! we nearly met up but we came to our senses and didn't but i can't stop thinking about him help
You should do nothing until you break-up with your boyfriend. Anything less is cheating.

Actually you may as well leave since you have almost cheated already and since your relationship must not mean that much, be fair and just leave so the current b/f can put his life together, and you and the ex can dance to the stars.:rolleyes:

Well...

You have a boyfriend. That's not a promise of forever. If he's not right for you, you don't have to apologize to anyone. Even if you can't list the reasons, if he's not quite "it", you really don't have to be there if you don't want to.

And of course the other side is the chase and the imagery we create in our minds is pretty powerful stuff... sometimes much better than the reality.

So... its up to you. Can you imagine your life without both of them? Because if you leave one for the other, you might get neither.

That said, fear is no reason to stay in a relationship. If you are not seeing your relationship with your current boyfriend progressing to a higher level someday, then its probably time to pack up and say thanks for the memories.