Entire story merged

My girlfriend and I have been going out for about a year now. She's black, I'm white. In September we were on a mission trip to Chicago and some one an off color comment. I mean in all retrospect it just made her fell uncomfortable. Any way it seems like every time she talks to her mom the whole incident gets thrown back in my face, like it almost was my fault. I love the girl but man this is just getting on my last nerve. I don't know what to do

The world has gone total P.C mad!

In my view. You can't say anything to anybody now a days :)

Tell her that you was not the one that said this. And please can she just drop it.

It's the same with any problem. If you just keep going on and on about
Someone has to say look stop.

Are you saying you made the off color comment? If not why is she holding it against you?

Why is her mom the cause of it getting thrown back in your face?

I didn't make the comment. She's pissed off because I didn't speak up about it when it happened. Well it seems to always be on her mind and she wants some answers so when ever she talks to her mom about it I always get a talking to. I tell her she needs to let it go and that it dose not do any one any good to remain angry about it's frustrating

Tell her we all make mistakes and miss opportunities and there are many things in life that if we could do over we would. Ask her to forgive and forget and if you two can move on. That you now know that she is a girl that likes defending so you will stick up for her from now on.

I know some girls that get mad if the guy steps in and sticks up for them.

I've been telling her that, now she's talking about wanting to take me to a seminar about ending racism and all that stuff
She's stubborn

Tell her you would be glad to go and think it will be most interesting.
That is if you can and will go. If not don't tell her that or it will make it worse.

I think what the whole problem is she is not sure if you will defend her, or not.

That's a biggie with females. Security and protection. Yeah you better go on that seminar, and pay attention, as you just can't brush her feelings away, and not acknowledge how she feels.

This will happen again, and its not about race my friend, but about you standing up for her.

You said you love the girl, so please do your best to protect her.
Soulds like she is a cute girl.

You should mention to her that being white, some things that are racially insensitive to others don't always have the same immediate impact for you. It may be a while before you realize how badly it affected someone. It's not ignorance or an unwillingness to stand up for her, but the fact that unless the remark is blatantly racist and a personal attack, you don't have the benefit of her experience to pick up on it.

My girlfriend's mom got remarried recently and moved out of state. It seems to me that, not that she's getting a divorce, that when ever she talks to my girlfriend that she's always questioning our relationship. Example: today they talked on the phone she kept accusing us of being alcoholics, and saying that we drink too much (not more than to a week, combined) blah blah so on and so forth. And other stupid stuff like that and every time they talk it gets my girlfriend all worked up then I have to deal with it. It's driving me up a wall :confused:

It sounds like her mom wants to control her life and likes assuming too much. She may be trying to make her feel like she can not do any good without her.
She needs to cut back talking with her mom I would think but she has to make that decision on her own.

Whatever your mom in law says to upset your g/f, stay calm and be supportive, let her vent and listen. If this drives you crazy, just think of how she feels. She will solve this her own way, in her own time.

I just frustrates me (my dad can be like this to) that she, and my dad treat us like little kids. I mean we are 24 with a good level heads on both our shoulders

You will always be their babies no matter how old you get, just ask my mom, and I'm almost 55.

Hey you aren't one of my kids are you?? Naw, my babies are in their 30's.

My girlfriend and I have been going out for about a year and a half now. She has marriage on her mind, I just graduated from college and looking for a career, and don't feel it's the right time now to settle down. She wants to take a break to reevaluate things and think things over. I just don't know what to do at this time in my life or where we are going

If you feel that you are not ready for a commitment yet, then don't make that commitment.

Marriage is serious business and you must take time to develop your career and live your life. What's the rush?

Many people don't know what their direction is at your age. This is as it should be - living life and gaining experience is what gives people the ability to make choices about their direction.

Your girlfriend is right to want to take a break - assuming that she's not using this as a threat to get you to conform to her wishes. Let her know that you're happy to take a break as you're uncertain about what you want to do and you're not ready for marriage.

It's better to be honest that to be persuaded into something you will probably regret.

If you're just as confused as she is, then it's a good idea to take a break from one another and think things through first. By giving each other time and space, you won't be influencing each other's thought process and you will be able to think more objectively.

Take your time to sort things out before you start communicating again.

So I've been going out with my girlfriend for about two years now, every thing is going great but I noticed that I have dreams about and being with other women. Is it just something silly or are they trying to tell me something. In these dreams I either try to get close to these women or get intimate with them but end up not or only going half way through.

They're just dreams and we all have them at some point.
I wouldn't worry about it.

This is absolultely normal. It is what you do in waking life that is more important.

Its perfectly normal and natural.
You can't help what your subconcious brings to the surface when you dream.

It does not make you a bad boyfriend,acting out those dreans with someone other then your girlfriend does.

That's what guys dream about, its natural. Just don't try to make your dreams come true in real life.

I doubt your girl would like that.

Maybe the point of the dream wasn't that you wanted sojmeone else, maybe it was just wanting something new, whatever u did in the dream try it with your girlfriend

It's natural, I dream about Taylor Swift, Sophia Bush, and others all the time. Everybody does it, doesn't mean anything though

I have dreams all the time like that. It is completely natural and you shouldn't worry about a thing. If you sleep with her at night any just hope you don't talk in your sleep or it could be worse.

It's weird because in some of these dreams I can give you the name of the girl, some one I went to high school with, that was about seven years ago.

Totally natural. Just fyi, girls do it too.

I dream about other guys all the time. Oh the fun I have. :) ;)

It's a dream, you can't control it anymore then you can control your breathing. It's a part of life.

Enjoy. The dream world is a wonderful place, but, it's what you do in reality that really counts.

:)

Ooooookkkkk but if I get in trouble... LOL

ooooookkkkk but if i get in trouble.... LOL

What happens in your dreams, stays in your dreams. It's a lot like Vegas. ;)

Just don't tell. Your dreams are your own, they don't belong to anyone else.

Heck, I could write you a book about what Vin Diesel and I do in my dreams. It would be X rated, and well worth the price. ;)

I'm just really curious now, why do I have these dreams about people that I have met in the past. Was because I was the loaner and didn't have any friends, now I'm really curious LOL

I'm just really curious now, why do I have these dreams about people that I have met in the past. Was because I was the loaner and didn't have any friends, now I'm really curious LOL

I have no idea.

Heck, I dream about people that I haven't talked to in 20 years. There's no reason, they just pop in. Darn people. ;)

If it's a good dream, enjoy. People that dream live longer. Really! :)

Sometimes I have dreams about random guys, and sometimes it makes me kind of feel guilty, but I realized that I'm human, and I can control myself, If I don't act like that for real, then there's no reason to feel bad. Dreams are never exactly what they seem, and the people in your dreams usually represent a person you're acquainted with, an aspect of yourself, or a situation you are in, and the circumstances of the dreams are the same as well, dreams are not literal.

Read the Interpretation of Dreams (http://books.google.com/books?id=OSYJAAAAIAAJ&printsec=frontcover&dq=interpretation+of+dreams&ei=68QwS9uINJeOygTmjeyVBA&cd=1#v=onepage&q=&f=false) by Freud.

T Swift is 18 now ha ha and of course Alty I dream of you but I didn't want to call you out on it:P

Just keep your dreams to yourself and you will be fine

So my sister and dad like to think they know what's best for everyone and like to make head comments about what ever want. I couldn't care less I've just learned to ignore it, not worth my effort, but the girlfriend is getting pretty fed up with some of the comments. I'm just not sure what to do.

Your girlfriend, his, or your sister's?

My girlfriend

Is this an option:
To tell them to stop it? Or at lest tone it down?

How old are you guys by the way?

Don't take girlfriend around them

Talk to your family. Tell them the effects. But if they are like my family and don't listen, all you can do is avoid it and ignore it

I don't know it's just one of those stupid annoying things they do... ugghhhh I just guess I'm going to have to do something about it... damn it LOL. Yeah Emo Princess it seems like they don't listen that much

You and your girlfriend need to just ignore them. Trust me, I've been through it and still go through it.

However, some of what they say may have importance. Rarely any kid/teen/young adult (or even a full grown man or woman) wants to hear criticizism, but it may be helpful in appeasing them

They just like to and complain about stupid stuff

And how do you react?

Like I said I've just stopped caring what they or anyone say along time ago. The guys at work say I'm a duck, it just rolls off my back like nothing happens LOL

I think that nitpicking anybody for essentially, entertainment purposes, is very disrespectful.

If they had something serious to say, do it in private with the parties concerned, not a family gang-up on one individual, or that individuals girlfriend.

Cheap shots I'd say.

Continue being a duck.

You can avoid what they are saying. But remember that your parents have had more experience than you, they have good intentions, and they have your best in mind, so I would take a listen as to what they have to say, and if anything, maybe even consider it.

If race is the problem, I stand corrected. You need to ignore what they say and not pay them any attention. OR, if you're brave enough, confront them on it.