What could 'take things slow' mean in this situation?

Me and ex boyfriend were together for nearly 7 months. I ended things with him 3 weeks ago because he admitted he wasn't over his ex of 3 years; I had already asked him about this already and asked him to be honest with me and that I'd understand as she ended things with him at the start of May (it was a bad break up; they were long distance; she text him saying it was over then refused to speak with him), and we got together in the middle of July.

Our break up wasn't bad, I tried to be understanding because he seemed so confused by the end and thought ending things with us would help him get over her. I didn't want to be a extra complication in all of this. He didn't want us to finish at first. I had told that I didn't want us to end. After thinking, I still wanted to be with him, because he had said that he didn't want to get back with his ex (this was what I was worrying about) but he had gone from hating her to accepting things and remembering the good times. He said he'd been trying to adjust to our relationship because he was used to being in a long distance one, and we live in the same city. He told me that he always had to go up to see her, she'd ever come to see him, even though she was the one with a car, and they'd have to do what she wants and he lost touch with a few friends because she always wanted to see him at weekends, but now he has this new freedom. We've met each other's friends and get along etc.

At first we still spoke, and I told him that if what he said was true then I thinking we are being stupid just throwing things away. He told me he wanted time to sort his head out and that he didn't want to hurt me, so I told him I understand, then didn't for a few days. The first Friday, he just turns up at my house, saying I am right for him, etc etc. I was about to go out with my friend, and he came along and got really drunk. One thing led to another and the next morning he woke up with a hangover. I could tell he was still confused, I told him he can't do this because its unfair on me, he said he did it because he was talking to his friends about me and he was worried that I'd go out and find someone else and he couldn't bear that.
He said he wants to be with me but 'doesnt know'. I told him not to contact me until he does know what he wants. He didn't like that at first but said he would. He text me later that night saying my friend had been telling him about the night before. I replied to a few texts but left the last one unanswered because I had told him earlier I didn't want to be left in limbo.

No contact until the next Friday, where he texts asking am I out at the usual place I go to because he's going with his friends and 'he doesn't want to ruin my night', I wasn't so I said have fun. Then at 3am he texts asking can he talk to me, and can he come with me, and if want to see him he'll be waiting. I didn't reply. He then rang, I answered eventually because I was worried and he said he is confused and depressed. We spoke for a while and his friend told me that he had tried to throw his phone in a puddle because he didn't want to speak to 'her'. I asked my ex boyfriend if he meant his ex and he yes. I asked if he had been speaking to her and he said no, that he's letting her ruin what we had. He said this past week of us not talking was hell for him. I told him I should go because it was late and I could hear his friend talking in the background so I knew he wasn't alone, he asked me not to, but I starting to get upset. He asked if he could talk tomorrow I said yes.

The next day, (sat) he texts apologising for last night. I replied saying I was worried and hope he was okay. He replied sying I don't know, Im at my friend's safe and hungover.

I didn't hear from him until the next Thursday when he text saying I know we haven't talked in a while but Im so exicted and you'd be the person I'd normally tell first, Ive book my driving lessons, for next sat, bet you a pint I pass before you. I replied saying well done because it was a big deal, then he'd reply in a jokey way. I didn't because things were still up in the air.

Then on Friday night, it was his first gig without me there. He kept texting me everything that was happening, even though I wasn't replying. He then text asking if I wanted to meet the next day because he needed to talk about things. I was unsure what to make of this but we met anyway.

At first he was just chatting away like we usued to. I tried to be distant and not so chatty but its so hard not to with him. He was saying that he was supposed to be going for drinks with workmates and then going to see his friends band with his best mate after, I said Id leave him to his plans because he wasn't even talking about us. He said he couldn't be bothered going, and did I want to go see the band with him, or we could go cinema or for a drink or something.

I asked him why he invited me out and he said he just wanted to see me and that he missed me. I said he had said that he wanted to talk and that I am right for him, and that we get along and when he thinks of me, there's nothing negative, and he enjoys spending time with me and he really really likes me. He said he wants us to try again but to 'take things slowly and see how things develop' and he didn't want to rush into things again. At first I told him I wasn't happy because I don't want to get hurt and he said he doesn't want to hurt me. I went home and he went out with his workmates.

About an hour later, he text me saying he's going home because he's not in the mood and his workmates are annoying him. I text apologising for acting awkward earlier and that I want things to work, and if he still wants, I'd like to take things slowly.
He said he understand and feels the same. I haven't heard from him since.

Im not sure about all this. Does this mean we are together or has he left the door open for him to see other people?

I told him I don't want to get hurt so surely he can't mean that? He isn't the type really to do that, but it hasn't be established and I don't want to push it because we used to be fun and happy, and all this serious talk is getting too much now.

Its hard because before we were so close and things happened pretty quick. We saw each other a lot straight away and when we didn't we still were in contact in the times between.

I don't even know how often should I contact him? Should I just wait for him? But then I'll be at HIS beacon call, when a relationship should be equal.

I don't know if we'll just lapse back into how things were in a few weeks because he said 'take things slow' but was still quite touchy feely, eg; putting his cold hands on my face, tickling me, and calling me by the nickname he always used to. But he never really stopped doing that after the break up.
I even think at one point he tried to hold my hand when I took my hand out of my pocket but I didn't realise it at the time.

Am I stupid for giving this a try? Has anyone got any advice as to what I should and shouldn't do when 'taking things slow' and has anyone been through this before and its worked out?

Thanks for reading, Im sorry for the LONG essay, just thought I should explain everything. I know its complicated. Thank you
Xxxx

Its pretty obvious that he isn't over his ex.
In fact he delayed his healing process by rebounding with you.

A red flag is that he seems to be doing guite a lot of drinking and then thinks he can take up your time,texting ,phoning coming over etc.

I would say go NC and leave him to sort himself out.

Don't hang around waiting for him,get on with your own life.

Even if Ive already agreed to 'taking things slow'?

Part of me does agree with what you are saying, I am finding myself waiting around and I shouldn't be doing that. He hasn't contacted me still, and even though he insists that I am not there for his convienience, it seems I am.

My friends say not to talk to him, because that's when he can truly realise for himself whether he misses me enough and whether he wants things to work, instead of us both just clinging on.

Would you really consider me a rebound? He says I am not. I thought he was being genuine.

Thanks

I would move on and rebuild your life, it really does look like you are just being used and that's not a nice thing, believe me I know!!

Don't wait around for the phone to ring or a text message to arrive, for one you will look desperate and for two he will think he has you on a string and you will go running whenever he is free.

Go out and enjoy life, meet new people, go out with friends, do everything but wait around for a guy that is obviousley still attracted to his ex. Take care xxx

It sounds like you are being used a little bit, even if he doesn't intend to or even likes you, just so he could attempt to trick himself into being over his ex. Quite honestly, that is not fair to either one of you.

He really needs to seek help and counseling about his previous relationship. That is not something he can burden on you, because it will destroy your trust and heart.

Yup, he's using you.

Doesn't know what he wants. Do you? Not this Im sure.

Let him figure it out. Be glad it was only 7mo.

I would suggest you just sit him down and tell him what you want, a relationship if he cnt commit then its his problem and you would need to give him some time

We have already had the talk and he has said he wants to be with me, and how he misses me not being around as much.

It was me who ended things with him, though I told him I still wanted to be with him if he still wanted when he sorted things out. I didn't expect to hear from him, but all this has happened since.

He has told me that originally he would tell himself that him and ex would get back together and he thought that's what he wanted but then he met me and that threw him a little because he didn't expect to meet anyone else. Now he says he wouldn't want to get back with her. I told him I don't want to get hurt and even asked him not to contact me, he did so for a week but then called at the weeked to say that that week had been hell for him. It was soon after that he wated to take things slow - his reasons being that we probably went too fast at first (which I agree with - he was telling me he was falling for me within a month).

He knows I don't want to be just friends, Ive told him I couldn't do that, so he already knows I'd want to have a relationship with him again

So it seems it's been another ten days or so of the same confusion since your last thread. I would suggest you tell him not to contact you unless he has got his mind made up one way or the other. You're allowing yourself to remain stuck in a situation where he is running the show. That's not a good place to be. Don't put your life on hold for him, go and do your own thing.

Let me ask you, would you let a blind man drive you to the airport during rush hour??

Of course not.

Then don't let him fill you with BS, and false hope, while he has his own personal hell to deal with. He is blind to reality.

Leave the poor, confused fool alone until he gets his act together. Break this "take it slow" crap of a deal altogether, before it drives you crazy. It favors him, and isn't in your interest.