Lovemyfamily
Jan 25, 2010, 11:28 AM
I won't lie, I used to be a very terrible person. While separated (not legally) but still married, I had a wild streak and slept with multiple people. My husband and I reconciled shortly afterward and a few months later I found out I was pregnant. He knew of the infidelity but since we had reconciled, we chose to put it in the past and try to be a family. He went as far as putting his name on the birth certificate so that "our" son would have a father.
Less than a month after my son was born, he decided family life wasn't "his thing" after all and we legally separated. He knew my son wasn't his and wanted to break ties from everything so in the separation paperwork, he gave me full custody and care of my son.
However, when it came time to file divorce paperwork, our lawyer ("my" lawyer but the only one we used, it was a non-contested divorce) decided the best route was for us to do a paternity test (which ruled my husband out as the father) and therefore my son wasn't even mentioned in our divorce paperwork since, in his wording of the law, we technically had no children together. My ex-husband has not once had any contact with my son since the separation and made it very clear that he never wants to. I haven't seen him since the paperwork was filed all those years ago and I honestly have no idea where he is or where to even start looking for him.
When my son was barely 2, I met an amazing man who changed mine and my son's life. We now have 3 children and my son is now 7 years old and is the most wonderful, happy child. This man is the only father he has ever known. He's military but I'm not so our "residency" is different. He's a resident of his "home" state (TX) while I'm a resident of the state we are currently stationed (NV).
I've been doing research on the process to have my current husband adopt my son but I'm confused about which state we need to file with and how to get this process started. Do we have to go about the process of attempting to contact my ex-husband just because he's listed on the birth certificate even though we have paternity information that shows he's not the father? Do you have any tips for me on how to get through this without ripping my hair out? I want this to be as painless as possible for my son as well as keep us out of enormous debt in the process (although it will be worth every penny, so I'm not ruling it out).
Wow, so sorry for the ramble. I just read through a lot of posts on here and there were always follow-up questions so I didn't want to leave anything out. Thanks for any tips any of you can provide.
Less than a month after my son was born, he decided family life wasn't "his thing" after all and we legally separated. He knew my son wasn't his and wanted to break ties from everything so in the separation paperwork, he gave me full custody and care of my son.
However, when it came time to file divorce paperwork, our lawyer ("my" lawyer but the only one we used, it was a non-contested divorce) decided the best route was for us to do a paternity test (which ruled my husband out as the father) and therefore my son wasn't even mentioned in our divorce paperwork since, in his wording of the law, we technically had no children together. My ex-husband has not once had any contact with my son since the separation and made it very clear that he never wants to. I haven't seen him since the paperwork was filed all those years ago and I honestly have no idea where he is or where to even start looking for him.
When my son was barely 2, I met an amazing man who changed mine and my son's life. We now have 3 children and my son is now 7 years old and is the most wonderful, happy child. This man is the only father he has ever known. He's military but I'm not so our "residency" is different. He's a resident of his "home" state (TX) while I'm a resident of the state we are currently stationed (NV).
I've been doing research on the process to have my current husband adopt my son but I'm confused about which state we need to file with and how to get this process started. Do we have to go about the process of attempting to contact my ex-husband just because he's listed on the birth certificate even though we have paternity information that shows he's not the father? Do you have any tips for me on how to get through this without ripping my hair out? I want this to be as painless as possible for my son as well as keep us out of enormous debt in the process (although it will be worth every penny, so I'm not ruling it out).
Wow, so sorry for the ramble. I just read through a lot of posts on here and there were always follow-up questions so I didn't want to leave anything out. Thanks for any tips any of you can provide.