PDA

View Full Version : This just. Doesn't seem normal to me.


crazychick56
Jan 23, 2010, 08:11 PM
Where to begin?
Okay, first off, I'm going to try not to beat around the bush here. My ex boyfriend and I, broke up four mont,s a week and a half ago, and I've been single ever since. We have dated before other than that one time. Four times to be exact, or maybe five.
Anyway, the other two or three times it was just like two people were attracted to each other so they decided to call each other boyfriend and girlfiend, big deal, right? And two times it meant something.
The first time, which was a little under a year ago, we dated for a month (as opposed to the other times when it was only a week or two and didn't mean a whole lot) , but I had to end things because we also had feelings for our other ex's, and things just weren't going to work out. I was heartbroken to do so though because he still wanted to date me though he liked his ex (he said he'd learn to get over it), and the fact that I'd grown to really really really like him in the one month, just not quite love yet. That was my longest on going, no break relationship. A month. Then summer began, and didn't stay in touch. I still really liked him, but still didn't love him.
Well I happen to find him on myspace, and for some odd reason, I start bawling. Eventaully, a month before school starts, we date. He broke it off two weeks before our three month, and I was heart broken because I had learned to love him. Really really LOVE him. He said he'd always love me still, but I have a feeling he doesn't mean it. But, we've been dating on and off for almost a year.
So now, four months, two weeks and a half later after our almost three month break up, I'm still depressed over it. I mean, sure, I gave him ALMOST everything I had, and I loved him. But three months, and he made me fall that hard for him? Really? I don't understand it because as school I'm all business like, playing my poker face like a professional, but every now and then I slip up at home, look at the reminders of him, and bawl my eyes out. It's been almost five months, shouldn't I be over a three month relationship by now?
Just curious
:/
Help?

jaime90
Jan 24, 2010, 12:06 AM
It takes time to heal from these things, and it's different for every person.

When a relationship is going on and off so much, there is a good chance that it's not going to work out. And honestly, if you are not looking at a relationship as a long-term thing... with marriage in mind, you should foresee a breakup. In relationships there are only two options: marriage, or heartbreak. Most high school relationships (about90%) don't end in marriage.
The truth is, (and this may be hard to take) but you didn't really love each other. Love is commitment, not feelings, and neither of you were committed.

Don't contact him, don't go onto his social networking profiles, you need to move on. Work on friendships with other guys, do a few things for yourself to get your mind off him. Don't worry if it takes awhile.

Honestly, emotions and memories for this guy will never permanently go away. There's a good chance that they will show up in your future marriage. These things affect you throughout your entire life, so it's a big deal, and it gives you a good reason to be a little more cautious in the future.

Eclipse1220
Feb 4, 2010, 07:58 AM
I understand your situation completely! I liked a guy a ton, for like a year and a half now. We never even went out, he wasn't the 'type' most would like, as he is actually intelligent and has a good future in front of him, and yet he is the guy I've fallen hardest for.

How old are you? I am 14 1/2 so you may not care about my opinion, but I feel like you are having some feelings I had to deal with, and still am to this day.

I am still trying to get over the guy, but having my friends and family REALLY helps! And don't stay focused on him, try looking at other guys as well. ;)

As Jaime said, relationships at our age ends in heartbreak like 90% of the time.

Don't let him be the only guy you see, and try to have fun!

Eclipse1220

crazychick56
Feb 11, 2010, 07:12 PM
Eclipse1220,
I am the same age as you, and that makes plenty of friends. And I would glady take your advice, if only it were as easy done than said. You get it?:/ and I don't know just how to take my mind off him, because it seems like I've literally tried everything, you know?

crazychick56
Feb 11, 2010, 07:13 PM
Eclipse1220,
and that makes plenty of friends


I totally meant sense, not friends. Wow I'm a real Sherlock lol.:p

Kitkat22
Feb 12, 2010, 08:34 PM
Time heals all wounds and I'm so very sorry you are going through through this... but I promise it will get better. Remember we're here for you.

Eclipse1220
Feb 15, 2010, 12:19 AM
Haha its okay.

And yes, I know exactly what you mean. Even when I'm busy I find I am subconsciously thinking about him.

Kitkat22
Feb 15, 2010, 05:20 AM
I hope you know a lot of people go through the same things your going through now. I don't know how long it will take to start getting even close to being ready to move on, but cry when you feel like it. Tears are good when they are helping you express your sadness. I wish you the best and the only thing I can say is ,who knows what the future holds for you .

There is no time limit on getting over someone you really,truly love. Five months doesn't seem to be enough time to recover from a broken heart.
This guy may be somewhere in your future.