My husband and I have been married for almost 2 years. We have a 6 year old, and a 8 mth old. He doesn't work, this is how it goes in a day: I work over night, so ill go to work, get home and he will not want me to go to sleep because he had the baby all night, but then lately he's just been calling me names, so I have to him... its just been so stressful! I don't have the money for rent, I don't have money for things that are needed, and it makes me feel stressed but he says that there's no way I could be stressed... just a lot of fighting, him not working, wondering when he could work part time in the evenings I guess but he wolnt get a job anyway. He says he is refusing to leave. That this is his apartment too. I keep yelling at him so that he would leave, I don't know if I'm wrong or whatever. I just can't take much more of this. He calls me at work and is yelling about the baby keeping him up at night and not getting any sleep. He does all the cooking, some cleaning.

First of all, settle down. You both are clearly under a lot of stress, and when you're into shouting matches, there's a good chance it's just the stress talking. I suggest sitting down, having a serious (and calm) talk about finanaces and the future. Ask yourselves pointed questions, is day care an option? What hours would he be able to work, if only a few? Could you get some assistance on your apartment rent? etc. The last thing you want, is something as materialistic as money, to ruin a relationship.

After you have this discussion and settle a few things, why don't you set up a date, to rekindle the spark you once had?

Thank you for your advice. I know I need to relax with some things. Its hard, because in my mind, I'm thinking he doesn't even want a job. But then I think the opposite. We are talking about moving to be around his mom, its nice where she lives. I guess I'm trying to find a way to change things. He doesn't like me on overnight because its hard for him with the baby cring. It fustrats me because I was raised as the mom stays mom more so than the dad, and the father is the bread winner basically. But in our relationship it's the other way around. That can be a hard thing to take in. He said when we were arguing that he doesn't base things on money, and I guess I can see where I do, do that. Because I think it is such a big thing. You need it to live. To have things you need. Its stressful when we can't pay rent and things like that. Although the landlord is very understanding and is extening our time with that, its still hard. I didn't think marrige would be this hard. Sometimes I feel stuck. But other times I am happy. Is that normal? Maybe a little overwhelmed... well go figure though I had my first at 17. I'm only 24. Well thank you and if you could comment again, I would be grateful.

Money is a big deal, one of the biggest reason for divorce, and almost everyone is going through financial problems right now. Including me and my fiancé, who are also renting an apartment. I grew up where my dad was the bread winner too, and for the longest time now, I've been making the most money in the relationship. We're in a little debt, and BROKE! I know, it sucks.

Unfortunately, the world revolves around money, but the last thing we should want, is for our relationships to do the same. Like I said, you could benefit from sitting down, coming up with a budget, couponing, etc... I feel your pain, my fiancé is my one and only, I'm only 19. If you need anymore help or advice (or just some encouragement) I'll be here!

He has to step up and be a man, and a father, and stop the whining about the baby crying. He helped make the baby, what did he think he was getting into? Bliss?

Babies are hard work, and their needs have to be met. Him griping won't solve that problem. He needs to grow up.

You were working nights, I presume, before the new baby was born? He must have managed with the older child okay, and he has to manage with the baby. Tough tomatoes his sleep is interruped!

While you are trying your best, and I realize that, he needs to get up off his *ss, get a job, contribute in a meaningful way, and actually help. Even a part-time job at minimum wage would likely make the difference in paying the rent on time.

If he is the same age as you, and has no physical limitations, what is his problem.

You can, on a limited income, apply for assistance, or subsidized daycare. Check out what your options are on your income, and if he actually gets a job, even a combined income, if low enough, has help available for subsidy.

Two years is long enough to be unemployed when you have 2 children to help support.

Yea, it def is not easy. I hear you. But I was encouraged by what you said and I am trying to look at things different, with a better attitude at least. :D

He cooks and cleans some, you said. Does he also take the older one to school, pick them up, shop, pay the bills, all that other housekeeping stuff? Finances are always an issue in a new marriage, but how much other work does he actually contribute to the household?

I read your post and just want to slap your husband upside his head.

It's ridiculous for a man to allow his wife to work nights while he does nothing and then he has the guts to complain about having to watch the baby. There's no excuse for him not working somewhere....there's always McDonalds or Walmart! He isn't doing right by you because he isn't pulling his own weight in the relationship. I'd give him a big ultimatum...either get a job or he'll need to find someone else to keep him. You'd do better without him...you don't need all that stress!