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adam_89
Jan 19, 2010, 08:23 AM
A young man moved out from home and into a new apartment, all of his own, he went proudly down to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox.

While there, an stunning young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes, wearing only a robe.

The boy smiled at the young woman and she started up a conversation with Him.

As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on. The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact.

After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, 'Let's go to my apartment, I hear someone coming.'

He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely.

Now nude, she purred at him, 'What would you say is my best feature?'

Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked,
'It's got to be your ears.'

Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, 'My ears?! ''
Look at these breasts; they are a full 38 inches and 100% natural.
I work out every day and my butt is firm and solid.
I have a 28 inch waist.
Look at my skin - not a blemish anywhere.

How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?'

Clearing his throat, he stammered...

'Outside, when you said you heard someone coming...

That was me...

adam_89
Jan 19, 2010, 08:37 AM
New Scam Directed at Men!!!

Women often receive warnings about protecting themselves at the mall and in dark parking lots, etc. This is the first warning I have seen for men. I wanted to pass it on in case you haven't heard about it. A 'heads up' for those men who may be regular Lowe's, Home Depot, or Menards customers. This one caught me by surprise..

Over the couple of months I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naïve enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends. Here's how the scam works:

Two seriously good-looking 20-something girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping into the trunk. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to look. When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' and instead ask you for a ride across the parking lot to McDonalds. You agree and they get into the back seat. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet.

I had my wallet stolen August 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th,17th, 20th, 24th, & 29th. Also October 1st & 4th, twice on the 8th, 16th, 23rd, 26th & 28th, three times last Monday and very likely again this upcoming weekend. So tell your friends to be careful. What a horrible way to take advantage of older men.

Warn your friends to be vigilant.

K-Mart has wallets on sale for $2.99 each. I found cheaper ones for $1.99 at Wal-Mart and bought them out. Also, you never will get to eat at McDonalds. I've already lost 11 pounds just running back and forth to Lowe's, Home Depot, and Menards.

albear
Jan 19, 2010, 09:07 AM
Ha, good ones, ill keep an eye out for the car park scam :D

adam_89
Jan 19, 2010, 09:13 AM
Ok Bear, just be careful out there and remember to keep you wallet with you at all times.

albear
Jan 19, 2010, 09:14 AM
Will do, ill have to get a few extra just in case

Catsmine
Jan 19, 2010, 11:19 AM
Edit the first one to say "butt." You got filtered.

sergie
Jan 19, 2010, 10:54 PM
I wouldn't mind to get robbed or spammed by those beauties, inumberable times. Thank you Adam for letting me know where to buy cheap wallets. :D

Stringer
Jan 20, 2010, 01:01 AM
Very funny Adam... good ones.

Clough
Jan 20, 2010, 12:14 PM
I didn't expect that coming in the first one, adam_89!

LOL! :)

Unknown008
Jan 21, 2010, 06:41 AM
Great jokes adam! :p

Thumbs up!

friend4u178
Jan 21, 2010, 03:38 PM
You do come up with some good ones Adam :)

Very funny both of them!!

adam_89
Jan 22, 2010, 05:56 AM
Thanks Friend. I can't top yours though.