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View Full Version : Interested. But so confused


eclecticsoul1
Jan 19, 2010, 03:15 AM
Hey all,
So here's my dilemma, I am really into a girl that I have known for along time (some 3+ years now). We just recently reconnected after about a year and a half of not speaking. Here's the back story... I met her via an online community about 4 years ago... we met and hit it off but never started dating because although she was out of her previous relationship at the time, she was still very much in love with her ex... so naturally I backed off... eventually I began to date the girl who is now my ex and while we were together, I had little to no contact with my current interest... but now that we have reconnected it seems to be going very well... every night we stay up to the crack of dawn discussing absolutely EVERYTHING... We talk several times throughout the day... Mind you she initiate most of the contact... And there is a apparent sexual attraction... In gist, we just mesh really well... But it seems as though she has issues letting me in because of her failed past relationships... And unfortunately, tomorrow she is head back up state too school... I don't want her to feel pressured... because nothing will probably scare her off faster but I really don't know what to do... or what to think... any ideas?

amicon
Jan 19, 2010, 03:48 AM
Just continue to take it slow and work on the friendship and see how it goes.
No need to rush things.

I wish
Jan 19, 2010, 01:00 PM
Have you told her how you felt about her yet?

jaime90
Jan 19, 2010, 05:05 PM
There's no need to rush. Since you haven't seen each other in a while, it would probably be a good idea to build on your friendship. Talking for hours on end, and being sexually attracted to someone, doesn't exactly mean that you are meant to be together. She is the cautious one in the your friendship, and if you respect how she feels, you will need to do a few things on her terms- including starting a relationship. Keep things friendly and slow, until she is ready to begin something. Also, it may be a good idea to let her know how you feel, and make it known that you want to take things slow.

eclecticsoul1
May 16, 2010, 09:48 AM
Threads merged, and edited for paragraphs for easier reading

So, Ive been messing around with this girl for about 5 months, up until recently and we never made it official because of some of her fears and insecurities and I spent the duration of this relationship being understanding of said insecurities because of my fear of scaring her away with the pressure of a relationship and things have been difficult because she lives a state away because of school and work.

Now Ive liked this girl for 5 years and 5 years ago she didn't really even give me the time of day because at the time she was getting out of a relationship so I kind of let it go back then but for some reason we kind of made it work this time around. Things were going well and we spoke everyday because naturally that was all we had because of our distance.

We have had several rendezvous and she's stated that I would be a great girlfriend and that she likes me a lot. But recently due to her school and work schedule our daily convos have been cut short and it's become very irritating trying to get her attention, so I found myself asking her to try and squeeze me in more often. Which I have done for her when she asked me too.

But after I asked she said that this is all becoming too much for her and that she wants to give me more time but she cant. She also said she didn't want to give me the impression that she was looking for more then what we had which I have understood since we started this whole thing.

I never asked her for a relationship or commitment for that matter. But ultimately she asked for time and space which I gave her. So as usual I understood and said it was okay even though I knew it hurt. She has been in contact with me since then but its been minimal and my birthday is around this corner and she asked me what I wanted and I stated that I wanted to see her and she agreed without hesitation. So I'm really confused and I've been racking my brain. What should I do? PLLLLLZ HELP!!

talaniman
May 16, 2010, 11:43 AM
Sorry, but forget romance, and that kind of special attention, because despite what your hopes are, you are merely a friend. The sooner you realize that, the sooner you can accept that its all you will ever get, and back up, and put your focus, and time elsewhere.

Sorry, but 5 months is long enough to chase ghosts, because of false hope you have been feeding yourself.