I have gone through a lot the past several years, maybe the last decade. I am going to be 40 soon and scared. I am no where I ever dreamt I would be in my life when I turn 40.I have been working on losing weight. I gained a lot due to depression and depo shot. I lost a lot right before and during my divorce. I used to be over 300lbs and I am 5'4". I have found a wonderful man. He too is overweight and we both want to lose weight. We were doing great and now we have back slided. I have the will power to do this, but it is hard without him actually falling through as well. I was down to 249lbs and now back up to 250lbs. I have joined Curves. I am afraid, even if I lose the weight that I want to and exercise, will I have excess skin still? Is there anyway to tighten this without surgery when I get to where I want to be? I want to be attractive to him and feel good about myself. Something I haven't felt for years. I want my children to be proud of me.

Hi! I'm going to be turning 41 in about 3 weeks. Neither am I anywhere close to where I wanted to be. I've learned to make peace - everything happens for a reason, and the path you're on is one you needed to take.

I'm twice married, twice divorced. I have three kids, oldest is almost 19 years old, youngest is almost 21 MONTHS old. I've had to struggle just to get gas into my car just so I can get to my lousy job to be under paid for my efforts. And I'm fat.

Here's what I've learned:
I've learned what I DON'T want in a relationship and I've learned that I deserve to be happy. I've learned that I have the strength to leave a bad situation and land on my feet. I've learned that I've raised to two wonderful kids already, so even though I don't have the energy I once had, I'm still a pretty good mommy. I've learned that if I learned just one more marketable skill, it can make a decent enough difference in how much I get paid. I've learned that it's not too late to go back to school and become what I was meant to be. I've learned to be happy with me, fat and all, so when I'm working the elliptical I'm doing it to be healthy, not to make somebody else comfortable with how they see me. And when I'm NOT working the elliptical, I don't beat myself up.

Don't be afraid. Forty is FABULOUS, baby! Maybe you're not where you thought you'd be, but now you're old enough, excuse me, MATURE enough to enjoy the journey of getting there.

Thank you for your very supportive words. It was very touching to me.

Thank you for your very supportive words. It was very touching to me.
Forty is fabulous and fifty is even better, believe me! So you've backslided, your happy now, it's O.K>, just remember you have a loving family and they are there for you, Keep up at curves, don't get lazy,( i.e, I'll go tomorrow, and work out 1/2 hr more), don't lie, make yourself get up and out... to CURVES, IF YOU WANT THEM YOU HAVE TO GO THERE!! Watch your intakes, no sweets for at least a month, salads get old but add chicken, shrimp,etc, chinese noodles, fried onions from the can (low in calories read nutritional label and adhere to the servings), add different veggies to your diet, lots of fruits, yogurt, YOU can do it, keep your confidence up,don't weight yourself for awhile, let a few weeks pass and then do it, drink lots of water especially before meals!! If you need low calorie n meals that are tasty get in touch with me,! Good luck, GO FOR IT SISTER!! :cool:

seeker2,

In my twenties and thirties when I was having and bringing up my children my weight was up and down all the time. And I used to worry about it and struggle real hard trying to lose it. The older I got the less I worried about it and the less I worried about it the more I lost.

Here are a few secrets: Try to think about what you want and not what you don't want. We are apt to go on about how fat we are or how much weight we need to lose. Try instead to think about how slim you are becoming and think about the weight you have and are losing.

You don't have to wait until you have lost the weight to feel good. Take nice long walks in the fresh air. Pamper yourself with a nice soak in the tub. Use moisturising body and face cream. Wear nice colours - nothing too tight. Eat lots of fruit and veg and drink lots of water it's good for your skin as well as cleaning out your system. Cut down on tea and coffee and fizzy drinks. Try to cut out white bread, full milk and dairy products like butter and cheese etc. Be good and kind to yourself so that with all the cutting down you don't feel deprived. Read books on positive thinking - there is one called Think Yourself Thin.

Trick your senses. When looking in the mirror tell yourself you look good and you feel great. It works much better than looking in the mirror and putting yourself down.

Do you like Affirmations? Here is one of my favourites.

"I'm losing weight and I feel great!"

Just repeat it to yourself anytime anyplace.

seeker2,

In my twenties and thirties when I was having and bringing up my children my weight was up and down all the time. And I used to worry about it and struggle real hard trying to lose it. The older I got the less I worried about it and the less I worried about it the more I lost.

Here are a few secrets: Try to think about what you want and not what you don't want. We are apt to go on about how fat we are or how much weight we need to lose. Try instead to think about how slim you are becoming and think about the weight you have and are losing.

You don't have to wait until you have lost the weight to feel good. Take nice long walks in the fresh air. Pamper yourself with a nice soak in the tub. Use moisturising body and face cream. Wear nice colours - nothing too tight. Eat lots of fruit and veg and drink lots of water it's good for your skin as well as cleaning out your system. Cut down on tea and coffee and fizzy drinks. Try to cut out white bread, full milk and dairy products like butter and cheese etc. Be good and kind to yourself so that with all the cutting down you don't feel deprived. Read books on positive thinking - there is one called Think Yourself Thin.

Trick your senses. When looking in the mirror tell yourself you look good and you feel great. It works much better than looking in the mirror and putting yourself down.

Do you like Affirmations? Here is one of my favourites.

"I'm losing weight and I feel great!"

Just repeat it to yourself anytime anyplace.
Such great advice, especially the mirror theory, not only say You look good but say, Your beautiful and working on gorgeous!! Convincing yourself is half the battle!!

Thank you all for your words of encouragement. It helped to read them. I have been very down lately... with the holidays not having my boys and my birthday being 2 days after Christmas... thank you again. I will take all of your advise.

Hey keep talking to any of us, we're herr for you, there's a lot of good info and people that will talk to you, use us!!