I have received oral sex from several women, and had vaginal intercourse with a decent number... and I don't even get close to coming. It's kind of like exercise, just pumping away until she gets sore or I get bored.

And from all the articles, you'd think EVERY guy comes just fine once he gets hard. For all the help with women's orgasms, is there any help for a guy who can't seem to come?

It isn't even about "letting go." I don't get tense at all during sex. It's frustrating, because there isn't a point for me.

I can come from masturbation (indeed, it's the ONLY way I've ever gotten off).

Does anybody know what my problem could be, and how to solve it?

I can come from masturbation (indeed, it's the ONLY way I've ever gotten off).

You've gotten too used to the feel of your own hand and nothing else will do it for you.

Stop masturbating.

You'll eventually get to the point where if you have intercourse or oral sex you'll have to come because you haven't been masturbating.

Trust me, it's the only way. Stop using your hand. Tie it up if you have to.

You've gotten too used to the feel of your own hand and nothing else will do it for you.

Stop masturbating.

You'll eventually get to the point where if you have intercourse or oral sex you'll have to come because you haven't been masturbating.

Trust me, it's the only way. Stop using your hand. Tie it up if you have to.

AGREED!
Go cold turkey for a few months, including sex of any way, shape, or form.

If I were you I would stop maturbating for several weeks and if you know you are going to be having some 'special time' with a girl get yourself worked up first.
Watch porn, draw out the foreplay, anything to get you super revved up before doing the actual act.

Is it really a problem. You get hard okay, you just do not come.

Well some women might think that this is a perfect gift to them. Sex could last longer, and you could very much give a women many orgasms.

Consider it a gift.

Another question is if you're wearing a condom and if you are how thick is it? Maybe try a thinner condom so that your penis gets more stimulation. Maybe just check to see that you're not using any of the Novocaine lube or condoms.

Hope it works out for you.

Do you have any health issues? High blood pressure? Prostate problems?

Inorgasmia can be health related as well.

He can have an orgasm and ejaculation when he is playing with himself.

Is it really a problem. You get hard okay, you just do not come.

Well some women might think that this is a perfect gift to them. Sex could last longer, and you could very much give a women many orgasms.

Consider it a gift.


Last longer? It NEVER STOPS UNLESS I GET BORED! I can shag for 3 hours or more, give the girl 7 orgasms (my current record, but it's been awhile), and finally be all "Can we cuddle now?"

I'm not talking about 'taking a long time to come,' which wouldn't be a big deal. I mean DOES. NOT. HAPPEN. You ever have someone go down on you... and keep on... and keep on... and finally cramp up and quit? That goes over about as well as it sounds, from both perspectives.

A gift, you say? Well, what's in it for me? So many guys will take so much garbage from a woman, just for that tasty milkshake. But for a guy who can't come, WHAT'S THE POINT?

I've tried all manner of condoms, and condomless (in circumstances of low disease risk), makes no particular difference.

When you masturbate do you apply tighter grip than oral or vaginal intercourse can provide?

Can you climax if a female is giving you a 'hand job'?

Are you mentally stimulated during sex with a partner?

When you masturbate are you fantasizing about things you can't/don't feel comfortable sharing with your partners?

Do you have a problem letting yourself go mentally or are you maybe holding back part of yourself without realizing it? Are you concerned about losing control long before you even get close to climax?

I don't think there's anything too uncomfortable.

I mean, women don't really care about anything except their pleasure, so it's not like I'm really _into_ it all that much. Just please them, and maybe they'll stick around awhile (works occasionally).

I don't do women who aren't reasonably attractive, and most are quite good-looking. Hand-jobs frighten me (I've had some... unpleasant experiences where my manhood was treated like a handrail).

"Women don't really care about anything except their pleasure"

THAT answers that question for me, right there.

First, stop with the masturbation.

Second--try getting involved with a woman that you're actually mentally involved with, and with a woman that you don't have the attitude of "please them and they'll stick around a while".

I don't think there's anything too uncomfortable.

I mean, women don't really care about anything except their pleasure, so it's not like I'm really _into_ it all that much. Just please them, and maybe they'll stick around awhile (works occasionally).

I don't do women who aren't reasonably attractive, and most are quite good-looking. Hand-jobs frighten me (I've had some... unpleasant experiences where my manhood was treated like a handrail).

This post sounds like you need to change your attitude. You 'do' women instead of 'making love' or enjoying a mutually satisfying act. If you aren't 'into' it, you can't really be surprised that you don't get anything more than erect.

I get the feeling that instead of getting into a relationship and working on it, you 'hook' up with women and neither of you are in it for anything more than getting laid. It seems to have affected your ability to get full pleasure out of a relationship.

I am almost wondering how old you are.

I don't think there's anything too uncomfortable.

I mean, women don't really care about anything except their pleasure, so it's not like I'm really _into_ it all that much. Just please them, and maybe they'll stick around awhile (works occasionally).

I don't do women who aren't reasonably attractive, and most are quite good-looking. Hand-jobs frighten me (I've had some... unpleasant experiences where my manhood was treated like a handrail).

Your problem goes deeper than just not being able to have an orgasm. You sound like a self centered misogynist. You're having sex for all the wrong reasons. Stick to your hand - it sounds like much more fun that communicating with a real person.

Your problem goes deeper than just not being able to have an orgasm. You sound like a self centered misogynist. You're having sex for all the wrong reasons. Stick to your hand - it sounds like much more fun that communicating with a real person.

Simply brilliant.

I don't think there's anything too uncomfortable.

I mean, women don't really care about anything except their pleasure, so it's not like I'm really _into_ it all that much. Just please them, and maybe they'll stick around awhile (works occasionally).

I don't do women who aren't reasonably attractive, and most are quite good-looking. Hand-jobs frighten me (I've had some... unpleasant experiences where my manhood was treated like a handrail).

I kind of felt sorry for you... until this post. Until you learn to respect women better than THIS, you should remain dormant with them, and "do" your hand.

I hope you and your hands have a very happy life together, because until you change your attitude, you won't be getting an orgasm from anything but masturbating.

I did not feel sorry for him at the start, but me saying that does not really make a difference now.

I did not feel sorry for him at the start, but me saying that does not really make a difference now.

I did to a certain extent because there are guys who do have serious problems with not being able to climax for a variety of reasons (mental as well as physical).

Being able to keep an erection for 'hours' is not a 'gift' to me. Vibrators can 'last' forever, too.

I knew it was not really an issue when he stated that he could get off by playing with himself. If he can do that, then there is no series problem to talk about.

I mean, women don't really care about anything except their pleasure

Are you serious :eek:

Your problem isn't in your pants it's under your hat.

Are you serious :eek:

Your problem isn't in your pants it's under your hat.

M, sadly I think he's using what's in his pants to think with.

Yes, perhaps he is gay and would prefer men ?

Also wondering how old he is... which is important to know for many different reasons. I never saw it mentioned anywhere.

Yeah I see some issues based on a few comments he made along the way which MUST have something to do with it.

I'm not going to make glib comments but you do need to look at your problems regarding how you see women. Somewhere along the line something has happened to make you fear and or hate women to some degree.
Either that or you have to question whether you are actually straight, it is far from unheard of for people who are gay by nature to have a hard time coming to terms with the fact.
I think it is more likely to be that you are straight but damaged in regards to your attitude to women though.

Your body's inability to climax during sex with a woman is its way of telling you there is a problem with the way you feel about women. Please listen to it and get some counselling to understand why and get it fixed. When your heart and head are sorted your nether regions will respond happily.

I just read this post and I'm quite disgusted at everyone's response after he posted his final comment.

Why did you jump on him like that? Sure what he is thinking is wrong, but it takes two to tango. Maybe it's not just him that engendered that attitude, but a sequence of experiences with the women he has been with - did you consider that?

Jeez. No wonder not a lot of people have post counts past 100 here, because you guys gang up and chase them away when it seems as if they don't share the same psych as you. Life is full of crap. Learn to deal with and help other people deal with it. You don't gang up on them.

I also have problems orgasm during sex. And I really care about the girl I have sex with so its an even bigger problem. But I have agreed with someone here that I'm too used to my hand and must never masturbate again *cry*.

But please be nicer next time.

I just read this post and I'm quite disgusted at everyones reponse after he posted his final comment.

Why did you jump on him like that? Sure what he is thinking is wrong, but it takes two to tango. Maybe it's not just him that engendered that attitude, but a sequence of experiences with the women he has been with - did you consider that?

Jeez. No wonder not alot of people have post counts past 100 here, because you guys gang up and chase them away when it seems as if they don't share the same psych as you. Life is full of crap. learn to deal with and help other people deal with it. You don't gang up on them.

I also have problems orgasm during sex. And I really care about the girl I have sex with so its an even bigger problem. But I have agreed with someone here that I'm too used to my hand and must never masturbate again *cry*.

But please be nicer next time.

Then again, you don't come off in your writing as what we used to call a "lounge lizard" back in the day. By the way, I suggested slowing down, not abstinence.

But please be nicer next time.

You have 13 posts, you're already in the red and you're telling us how to act?

Did you read the thread? Did you read what the OP said? Maybe you should before you judge us.

Most of us have 1000's of posts here. After a while you learn to spot the trouble makers, the trolls and those that just want to start a fight.

Why am I in the red? I have done nothing wrong..

Why am I in the red? I have done nothing wrong..
Um... you DID read the OP's comments in post #9 and #11? And you didn't notice the unhealthy attitude behind those? Personally I'm not surprised someone who feels that way towards the opposite sex....Man OR Woman... is suffering from some sort of other disfunction as well.

They clearly need to get away from "ME" being their focus... and make it "WE".

Why am I in the red? I have done nothing wrong..

You're gotten negative ratings for a few of your posts. We pride ourselves on accuracy here.

It's wonderful to offer your opinions, but make sure if you post that something is fact that it actually is fact, not just something you believe is fact.

People will disagree if you offer factually incorrect information. In order to alert the OP that your post isn't factual we give a negative rating. This ensures that everyone knows that your post isn't fact, that the information you provided isn't true.

It helps the OP make an informed decision. It's a useful tool. You can still get back into the green, just make sure to post correct info. If it's your opinion, then state that it's your opinion, don't state that it's fact unless you can back that up. Okay?

Ook man I had this problem and still do with oral. I cannot orgasm to oral and it really frustrates my fiancé. She wants to do it for me but I'm just like there is no point. That was happening with sex the first few times too. That problem we solved through comfort and resensatization. Often a male single for a long period can effectively ruin his sexually sensations by too much or too hard masturbation. Chances are you cannot orgasm because you are not feeling enough friction. Also relaxation of the mind is the real key to all orgasms. You must be comfortable with the action you are doing and your partner needs to help on this one. If she is saying things like what is wrong with you it'll make you feel bad and more pressure. My fiancé we very patient with me and always let me know that it was OK and that we would get there. And low and behold we did, not too long after. Also another last thing you have to know is what your orgasm will feel like during sex, they are very different than manual orgasms. If you don't know what you're expecting you start to over analyze every feeling constently wondering if you're close yet or how will it feel. Don't worry about these things sex is natural and your body will react to the sex when it is ready to go. And believe me an inside the woman orgasm is so much better than manual. However if you are using protection that right there could be the reason though I am not in anyway saying not to. Protection is a great idea if you are not with a woman that you know you will marry.