I met my ex girlfriend about 3 years ago. And after a few months of getting to know each other and dating we finally became a couple in November of 07. Everything was great. I had so much fun going out on dates with her and after a 9 months we decided to move in together. We lived together for about a year and after 5 months into it I started to get use to her more than being in love with her. She has always been a super moody person and I wasn't until I became her boyfriend. Things got so bad with us that I would get mad over anything and started to treat her really bad. But I didn't notice I was being so mean since I got used to her throwing object at me and hitting me or scratching. She would get mad fast too. Her excuse was that her mom would hit her when she was little to take out the anger on her that she got divorce. I finally ended things with her in August because we would argue all the time. The same day we broke up she went out on a date. 2 weeks later she became another guys girlfriend.she lasted less than a month with him and started to talk to me again telling me that she missed me and that I was better than her boyfriend. Because at first I treated her like a princess. Always gave her roses and for her birthday I gave her 100 roses. The other guy she got with only wanted her for sex which she gave him. Even after she broke up with him she was talking to both of us until she realize that what she had. With me was better than with the other guy. For the past 2 months we have been talking and she tells me one day that she still loves me. That she can't get over me and for some reason she can't talking to me. Then she gets mad and tells me all these hurtful things. She tells me how sje enjoyed sex with the other guy. She tells me she still likes him. And 3 days ago he told her he wants her back and ever since she has been really mean to me. Ignores my calls and text. Only text me when she"misses" me. When I ignore her and try not to talk to her she then wants me. But when I want to talk to her she just tells me I'm annoying. She changes her mind about how she feels for me. But her actions show me that she still loves me. Or so I think. What should I do? Try and keep fighting for her even though this has only taken me to become depress because she can't make up her mind. Or should I just let her go and try to find happiness with someone else.

Why fight for a person who is treating you like dirt? And who has been abusive towards you?

Cut all contact,ignore her and get your own life back on track-leave this mess behind you.

Just what exactly are you wanting to fight for? To get her back? And what then, keep repeating history over and over?

I can see fighting to keep a relationship together if there is commitment and love between you, but this doesn't seem to be that way. I can see counselling to work out differences if you wanted to work together for long term goals.

But just to fight to get her back, and get back the same relationship you had, which made you leave in the first place, does not make any sense.

Sometimes, relationships are just over, plain and simple.

I'd say this is one of them.

I forgot to add that the reason why I feel like fighting for her is because she says she has changed and because I still have love for her.

I forgot to add that the reason why I feel like fighting for her is bcuz she says she has changed and because I still have love for her.


Just because she has said she has changed does not make it so.

What do her current actions say?

What is she doing to show she has changed?

Well she tells me she don't love me anymore. So I don't talk to her for a few days and she gets mad saying that why am I ignoring her and that she wants me back. Then I ask her to e my girlfriend and she says she doesn't want me back.help before I go completely insane...

Go no contact!

It will save your sanity.

This girl obviously has a lot of issues that she is loading on top of you.

How old are you? How old is she?

I know you said in your post that you lived together,but she is acting like a hormone driven teenager.

Cut out the drama,and start healing.

She pushes you up high in the sky, then drops you into the ground.

Well I'm 25 and she is about to turn 23. I am a really romantic guy that likes to write lyrics and poems. I would write her songs and poems and I would write them in Spanish and some In English. But even if I wanted to translate them she would never want to listen to them
And would just tell me that I'm back with the same bs.I was never insecure as she made me. She would always bring up how before me she would go to new York city n have sex w guys as trade to let her stay at their place. How she would be having sex with guys here and there. And at first I didn't care because she was different now. I didn't care about her past, but that started to affect our present by the way she was with me. And I became crazy insecure and jealous.it started to affect me in school and personal life where I lost all my friends both guys and girls. She is not romantic at all. My girlfriend previous to her would cry with my songs and made her super happy. But we broke up because I left to go to university. Now she is married. But back to this other one. I still love her and can't seem to get over her.I guess I keep coming back to her because I know she has had A rough life. I don't think that her ethnicity matters. But she is mixed. Black n white. I just wish I could find a girl who liked romantic stuff like me to help me get over her.. But I can't use someone to get over her. I'm not that mean.I guess I'm stupid for letting her mess with my mind

You will get over her,with time and an active approach to healing.

Once you're truly healed from this breakup you'll be ready to date again and meet someone who will be a much better match than this girl.

You don't need another girl to help you get over this one. You need to get your head screwed on right, your priorities straight, and please take off those rose coloured glasses!!

I seriously question your ability to see the truth, to see how your life has gone downhill, how used you have been, how emotionally stuck and psychologically flatlined you are.

Think! Get out a pen and paper and put 'pro's' and 'con's', and honestly write down a list on her, of both.

Then write down how you are thinking and feeling, and whether it is healthy, or detrimental to your life.

Put the poems and songs aside, have a few cups of coffee, and face the truth. Really face the truth. Not your version of it to make yourself feel better.

When you have done all that, can you say you really don't know what to do?

I do think you are right jake2008... I guess I got so used to her and the bad life and ba treatment by her that to me it was just normal. I see how other couples are and my ex girlfriend would tell that it's not happiness because they didn't do the crazy things we did sexually. But that was about it. She would Always tell me that we where normal and they were not. But I need to let it go and not lose all connection with her..

This girl treats you like dirt, walks all over you, tell you to go then wants you back only to tell you to go again, and you want to fight for her?

Run! The fact that you're even thinking about begging for her to come back (that's what fighting for her is) makes me question your sanity and intelligence.

When someone knocks me down, I get up and walk away. She's knocked you down over and over again and you keep getting up and begging for more.

If she's not willing to fight for you all the time, don't make her your first priority when you're only an option