Hi, I have been using NO CONTACT like never before.

Now, my ex is been contacting me for money and other things she left in the house. I am not over her yet but I am healing faster than I thought.
The five times she contacted me by email, text, and one call is been about the money , etc. but not about getting back with me. I think our relationship is over because we broke up too many times, she moved out of my house twice. The last time I gave her an ultimatum to get her act together or else she would have to move out. She is 21 years old and I am 30 years old. She is a person that has nothing to show for but only her beauty. On the other token, I don't have time to babysit her anymore and I feel there is no future with her. Now, I want to know what the hell she wants from me, she wants to use me to her advantage like she always done before. But the feeling I get behind this is that she doesn't need the money because she already paid for her books and school classes on the 5th of this month and it was the 13th when she last called me for the money. I think she wants to hear how I sound and if I am still hung up on her so she can feed her ego. I am will use no contact until she shows up in front of my house. I wonder if she is using this as an excuse to keep communications, friendship, or getting back with me now that she realizes that I am not responding.

Read the threads about no contact in my signature.

You're still over-analyzing her reasons/actions for contacting you. Block her on email, change your phone number so that you don't even have to know what she says/wants.

Unless you legally owe her money (which it doesn't sound like that's the case), I would avoid her like the plague. You seem to be in pretty good spirits considering and I'd hate to see you risk anything that would set you back on your healing.

If she is extremely insistent on getting her things back, do you have a mutual friend that can gather her things and meet up with her with no involvement from you? An arrangement like this seems best if you want to stick to NC and minimize any and all contact.

You may have to be blunt with her. She seems a bit thick in the noggin'. If the calls, texts etc. continue, or increase, and she doesn't get the hint, and you are worried about her influence on you, send her an email, tell her to stop calling you, emailing you, texting, etc. It is over, and it's going to stay that way. Tell her what Ducky said, you have what remains of her possessions, in a box, and so and so is going to call her to arrange delivery of same.

You shouldn't have to turn your home into a fortress, nor should you have to change your phone number, or your routine, or worry about her keeping up this nonsense.

Step up, control your life. She cannot affect you if she doesn't take you seriously, or she is trying to push your buttons.

You don't have to do anything, but to ignore her.

True NC means none of this BS.

Give her sh**t back if that's so important, but no money. And if you decide that, yes, leave it somewhere for her to get.

I chucked everything 2 weeks after. Lots of stuff. So. There would be no question about those meaningless things.

Well it was a very expensive christmas gift she left in my place after she abandoned the house. Have not heard from her after 2 weeks on two voicemails. I am stucked on NC for good, if she wanted the money and the gift, why wouldn't she show up at my house or work. She must be scare to see me because she might have feelings. She is persistent, how long it would be when she will show up in face?

No need to worry about her anymore. If she really wanted it back, she can get a mutual friend to retrieve it.

Focus on yourself and do your own thing.

Don't worry about the what ifs, just stay NC and ignore her calls

If you still have things of hers (including the money), that gives her an excuse to keep a connection between the two of you.

If you don't want her to show up at your house, then get the stuff in a box, mail it to her, or have a mutual friend deliver it.

Yeah.

Plus, stop worrying about what she wants, or caring, or wasting your thoughts.

Ex, remember. (no longer)

NC, buddy.

Yes I know. Finally she showed up at my place for 25 minutes knocking and hitting on the door. She knew I was in the house but I don't want to be set back on my healing. I am doing so good not seeing her, it will affect me if I do. She finally got tired and left the premises. She left me 10 voicemails saying that if not give her stuff she will show up at my job and make a scene. I immediately sent her an email that if this continue I will be force to put a restrainting order, that relationship is over. She blew my phone right when she received it. She knows this legal action would affect her international student visa and be sent back to her country and that's why she hasn't bother since. It hurts me that much because she's only coming for her stuff she left like the rabbitt, scarf, my christmas gift to her(bike), and $300dollars. The last month we lived together, all she did was watched Disney Channel, did not clean at all, rated all the food, slept all day, and did not work or brought any income so she lived off me completely. I analyze all things after the 2nd week of the separation, and discover that I babysit her so much I was blind. She took so much time and energy from me and wasted all my toughts. Why?

Also, I forgot to say. That the next day after she show up at my place, she called my family to see how they were doing? Isn't that strange, what's her intentions for calling my siblings. If she really want to move forward, none of these bs would be happenning. Somehow I think that no contact is affecting her from some angles, not sure what or either she's trying to squeeze the last of me. True NC means none of this BS, why is she after? She doesn't give any reconciling signals for me therefore I still continue NC, is driving her nuts.

Stick to your NC and don't spend time analyzing her feelings or motives.

It seems she used you so you are well rid of her.

Box her stuff up and ask a friend to deliver it to her or simply get rid of it.

She sounds like a psycho that needs to grow up.
Forget her.

Be glad.

I've gather all my strengths and support from family and friends. But all of you guys in this forum have been the absolute help, really glad

Hopefully, this will be last time I post about this PSYCHO. She's nothing but a CLOWN.

THANK YOU!!

No need to waste anymore energy analyzing her actions. Keep moving forward with your life. Let her deal with the break up her own way.

I would even suggest that you kindly ask your family not to let you know when she calls, so that you don't even have to think about it.

Hi! But you are not going to believe guys but I was driving by downtown, I passed by my old College on my way to my friend's place. I was waiting on the red light and there she was walking with a friend. Luckily, she didn't see me and after the light turn green I just kept on driving. I prayed to God that she won't see me so she won't think I was stalking her. Thank God she didn't see me otherwise I would have felt really bad. As I was driving I began to think what if I follow her and see where she lives and I run into something I don't wish to see. I finally said to myself at that weak moment, 'she is not worth my time'. When I got to my friend's place, I felt accomplish and progressed. Now, she hasn't bother since the 21st of this month, because I told her I would put a restraint order on her if she keeps harassing me about her stuff she abandoned. That scared her off but I do believe she will come back around one of this days but that day I would never know. I'm kind off at the last stage of the healing because I feel it but I must admit that I think of her sometimes. When I do, I just pull out my Pros&Cons list to remind myself about the bad things. I try not to go to the places that she hangs out or might be but her ghost is still hunting me where ever I go. This is not the first time it has happened.

If,in future,she does bother you-act upon the decision to take out the restraining order.

Don't let the ghost of her bother you,it will fade,with time.

Stay strong and don't look back. She honestly has nothing to offer you. She seems like she just was taking up space living with you. It's horrible to say, but she offers you nothing. She is 21 yrs old, that's a big difference to a 30 yr. old. You should be so happy you are staying so strong. Continue NC she isn't worth it. Mail her stuff back to her if you have to. Good luck, and you deserve better.

Sounds like you're doing great.

You can do whatever you want, but if it were me, I'd box up all of her stuff and send it to her. There's no reason for you to hang on to it - the relationship is over!

It hurts me that much because she's only coming for her stuff she left like the rabbit, scarf, my Christmas gift to her(bike), and $300 dollars.

I can't believe you would keep her stuff AND money! I would go psycho on you too!

You want this over? Give her stuff back through mail or a friend and be done with it. Why are you holding on to something that will end the nonsense!!

Unbelievable.

Totally, you are letting her hang this over your head.

Get it back to her, one way or another & you won't have to ever worry about it again.

For me, I simply chucked every single belonging, photo, love note, and reminder right in my dumpster.

Like Tal said Give her stuff back

I have a feeling you may be hanging onto it in the hope she will contact you.

Why else would you even consider hanging on to her things.

I'm not hanging on to the stuff she abandoned, I know that she won't come back. She thought I was weak so it's my time to give her a lesson. She's out there desperate for money and what not. When she got kick out of her friend's house the first time we got separated, I took her back in to my place and told her she doesn't need to pay rent at all and that she could only go to school. She had no place to stay at that time, she lived with me out of convenience that last month and half. Now, this the second time she left again and that's why I don't owe her anything, we broke even. She made me buy a pet, I bought her a bike for christmas, she left a scarf, and wants to claim $300 dollars when she lived for free the last month. I told her specifically, if you walk out that door again, you are not coming back ever again and whatever you leave here stays, and I will change the locks. It hurt me to let her go like that but I don't like to be used and taken advantage for. I know my gut feelings, Valentine's is coming up soon and she's probably thinks that I am going to call her, but I won't. When she's down in her luck, she will contact me because she was dependent on me on everything. She used me a lot and I got caught up.

Those days are over...

Thank you, guys. You have been great, no question about it.

Those days are over...