My ex broke up with me about 2 months ago and recently she had called me up and told me she really missed me a lot and still loves me. I felt the same toward her.We had made plans to meet a week later and we had amazing makeup sex and I asked her if this meant she wants to be together again and she said yes but I guess I am worrying because the reason she broke it off with me in the first place was because she was overwhelmed with everything plus she has a son both who I love dearly. I treated her like royalty but she felt she just couldn't give me what I wanted at the time and that was to see her at least twice a week. Now that she said she wants to continue to see me since we made up, she told me to please be patient because she is still very busy with work n her son but soon it will clear up. We only see each other once a week but its been very hard I guess since I love her so much and want to be with her. I try to give her her space and I have been playing it cool but we don't talk at all except when we hang out, we'll send random texts though but I usually initiate it. I don't know if I should tell her this bothers me again which is why she let me go in the first place or do I suck it up and even though its hurts a little, let her come to me if she really wants to be together and in the mean time focus on myself which is hard since all I want to do is be with her. Sorry for the long post but any help is appreciated. Thanks.Just a side note, we are both in our mid 30s and before the breakup we were going out for over a yr.

Have you ever thought of some sort of couples counseling?

Seems like she needs help with clearing out what she feels-- seems like she just left you because of some insecurity of hers.

I think counseling would be a good thing for the both of you so you can start with a fresh foot forward.

Good luck!

Hi sandman, I think that your ex does want to get back together, however if you continue your current behavior I believe this reunion will be short lived. If the people involved in a relationship do not address the issues which originally led to a breakup, they are bound to break up again. So, correct me if I'm wrong but from what I can gather from your post is that you told her you wanted to spend more time with her and she dumped you because of that?

If so, you need to realize that as far as I can see she has done the most that she can right now. She communicated to you asking that you be patient because the current situation does not allow her to see you more than once a week due to work and her son and that it is only temporary.

So basically, you have two choices here:

A. If you want this to work, Cool off and lay low for a bit. She's already stated that her life is extremely busy. Stop trying to smother her and bombard her with attention as this will only remind her of the reason why she broke up with you to begin with. Instead, use this time to busy yourself with other hobbies and things in life that make you personally happy. She shouldn't be the sole source of your happiness in your life! You have to accept her situation and not pressure her otherwise history will repeat itself.

B. If her situation is unacceptable to you and is something that you cannot live with, even in the short term, you need to end this. Only you know what you're capable of putting up with so if you're honest with yourself things will work out a whole lot better.

So think about it. What do you want out of the relationship and what are you willing to put up with?

She had let me go because she felt that with working 50 hours a week and being with her son and having her alone time, she just didn't feel that she could give me the time that I was looking for. For the longest time in our relationship we saw each other 2-4 times a week and things were incredible. I know this was probably due to being on that cloud when you first go out with someone new but still, I guess when she slowed it down I got frustrated and thought she was pulling away and I couldn't handle it. She saw my reaction. I guess the reason why I was confused is if she is still so busy, why did she call me and want to hang out instead of just waiting until after things cleared up a little more for her? I think I will be choosing option A just because I truly love her and I see this woman as the "one". I just got to be strong and be patient. I will let her come to me for now. Its just so hard because I want to be with her. I am glad there are these forums so I can vent a little. Thank you for your responses.

Kind of got the same thing going on but we have talked about the issues and it seams to be working well. I am the dad /kids and she is single/cats.LOL. She felt smothered/married and in a rut so feelings were changing. Almost lost her,but with some talking and adjustments things are much better. The time I had before/ 5-6 days aweek was too much no "her"time and it will kill the relationship. She is being honest with you so work with her if you want this to work. Now we have "date nites" better alone time and no kids times too. I am much happier and is she. The time away makes it better when we get together too. Hey, its not too often that you get this chance,so if you can work out the time thing and be happy,both of you then do it. If it isn't good for one of you then maybe its time to move on. Best of luck and do talk with her, good comm is the key.

I think this lady really loves you and is trying to be open and sincere in telling you that her time is limited.

Her son has to be her top priority (yes, even before you!), and of course she has to work to pay the bills. That really doesn't leave a lot of time.

Don't nag her and make her feel guily about working and spending time with her son. If you really want to keep her, you're going to have to just "hang in there" and be supportive and patient. I think she's doing the best she can.

Thanks for the input everyone. I am trying my best to be patient and work on myself in the meantime. Its hard though because we don't really communicate that much when we are not together. I am lucky to get a couple text messages during the week from her and once in a while she will call me. I am trying to let her come to me because after all she let me go the first time and I don't want to come off as needy with her. To see her only for a couple hours a week is very difficult because I care and love her so much. I mean how hard is it to just send a text message every now n then to say you miss someone or to just see how their day went? She doesn't want to bring me around her son right now because we just started seeing each other again which I understand in a way but I do miss her son as well. I only hope this is temporary so we can start to see each other more and be more of a part of each others lives. I have never seen a relationship where the couple only sees each other once a week for a while and then has virtually no communication until next time they hang out again. However this does make me appreciate my time with her more, but its hard lol because I want her.

Hey everyone. I am hoping to get some advice here because I have been going out of my mind lately. My girlfriend and I have been going out for over almost 2 yrs now and we have had our rocky moments like any couple does but it always seems to bring us stronger together. We had a wonderful valentines day together and we told each other how much we mean to each other.I try to do everything I can to make my girl happy because I love her so much. Overall I would say our relationship is about a 9 out of 10. I always trusted her and everything. But recently she and her son got sick really sick and I didn’t hear from her(understandable since her son should be first priority) Anyway I would be the one to text her and she would always write back but never the other way around. This went on for about 2 weeks since her son was really sick. I finally got to see her recently and this time I got to see her son again after about 3 months of not seeing him. He missed me so much and it was the greatest thing. The next day I saw them again but this time he called me John and when I asked my girlfriend who John was, she said it was her boss I am not usually this way but I felt jealous. I remember my girlfriend telling me way back in August that she started talking to this boss and he would talk to her for very long periods. He calls her “baby” but she says he calls all the women that. He had even got her some wine for vday but she didn’t get him anything. She maintained though that they never hang out as friends and its just a work friendship. She is in her lower 30s and he is 52. I couldn’t stand wondering so when she was dropping her son off at school the next day, I peaked at her cell phone and saw a bunch of text messages from him. We got into a fight about it and she said that she has no feelings toward him other than friends. He is married with 2 adult children. She always takes her phone with her and is checking it an awful lot and won’t let it out of her sight (even before I looked)She uses her cell for everything, internet,calls,texts,etc and I know how attached people can get to their phones. I guess after we talked about it all, things were stable, its just I love her so much and never think she would do any of this. I trust her, but not the guy. Am I crazy for having these concerns? Do you think a woman in her lower 30s that has one son would throw away everything a guy that has given her everything emotionally and physically ( our sex life is still fantastic) and cheat with a guy that is in his 50s with 2 children and still married? The only thing the guy has over me is more money but I feel that’s it, I have never seen the man before though. Whenever me and my girlfriend get to have our quiet time and make love, she tells me that she loves me so much and that she is so lucky to have a guy like me. I feel the same and I want to marry this woman eventually. Can anyone give me some thoughts on what they think? I don’t know if I am just worrying too much and need to calm down or if I have a legitimate cause for concern. I just don’t want to get played. Please help….. :-(

what did the texts say? Were they innocent? If you didn't get to see what they actually said, do not try going back through her phone to find out. You said you trusted her. So all you have to go on is her word. I don't know why she would tell you about him if she was having an affair with him. Seems like she'd be more likely to hide the relationship completely. And it doesn't seem unusual for her son to know her bosses name. I didn't see you mention how old her son was, but I've been noticing children can be really bad at names lately. Even my own cousin who is 4 can't remember my name! His favorite game seems to be "who are you?" every half hour or so. My boyfriend's niece changes that game up by alternating between "who are you?" and calling me random names. And I wouldn't think much of him calling her baby. My manager walked around yesterday calling everyone (even the guys) "babe" just to see the reactions (they were pretty funny.) but normally he calls everyone "bro". Someone else calls everyone "boss". And still another refers to everyone as "my friend". They're just terms of endearment. I think if you keep pushing this you'll drive her away. And at this point I don't really seen anything that really makes it look like she is cheating.

The chances of being played also exist but very very less... You both have shared wonderful times in your relation... as per you even now she keeps saying how much she loves you then I guess you need to calm your mind a little.. stop racing your thoughts for the negatives immediately... if her boss is like trying to keep over communication then its solely his problem your girlfriend is not to be blamed or doubted... and if you really of the thought to get married to her eventually then first get rid of all these base less doubts... she has already given you enough explanations of she not showing any kind of interest or keenness to keep up any sort of connection with her boss personally but if you keep on giving her these kind of vibes where you are so full of doubts and insecure then she might even end up losing her patience... pulling the string too long ends up breaking it.. so just give her and yourself sometime.. may be she too is pissed off with her boss and his attitude but is not able to share with you because of some good reason... wht ever it is just CALM DOWN that's the solution for now... and try focusin more on your relation with her rather than her relation with her boss...

Well you didn't help your cause any with acting on your curiosity and snooping, and looked like an idiot in my opinion, when you confronted her about a bunch of PERSONAL texts from her boss, that couldn't have been to bad, since you only have suspicion, based on jealousy of any wrong doing. Not good, and you better calm down and act more maturely with your actions as a female with a son, is only being protective by keeping guys away from him, and that goes on until the guy has proven himself worthy in the long run. You haven't helped your case at all with your actions. Maybe you have set them back, as reading your whole story after merging them, she is a busy female, and a cautious one, and considering her circumstances, rightfully so.

Sorry, despite you wanting more, she only has so much, and she has more than just your needs to consider. Understand that and act better, and TRUST her, or leave.

Thanks. I know I need to calm down a bit, I guess the reaction I had because I haven't seen/heard from her much over a 2 week period, the fact that her 4 yr old son called me John, I saw some texts that were pretty innocent at least from her side. Thank you everyone. I really appreciate this, it makes me feel a little better. I love her so much and I know I have a little insecurity sometimes but I work on it through therapy. I just don't want it to boil over so she sees this. Anymore comments would be appreciated. Have a great day!

Don't let your feelings get you so carried away, that you think, and act impulsively, because its really hard to keep saying sorry for not trusting you. Sorry for not listening, and sorry for being a fool.

Do something once, and they expect it again, whether it was good, or bad.

Lead with your best foot forward.