I'm terrified of being alone. I'll text, call, email, IM, etc. anyone just so I have a continuos communication connection with at least one person. My fiancé, friends, and family have no problem with it. I have depression and other emotional issues and have had a pretty... difficult life. Any advice on how to get used to being on my own?

Many people are afraid of the thought of being alone. You sound like you very well could be one of those people. Just recently my girlfriend broke up with me and I was terrified that I was going to be alone. I just struggled with it and kept thinking to myself that I don't need anyone but myself. As long as you are happy then there is no need for any other person around you. If you think about it you will never be alone unless you make yourself. And if you are writing this then I am sure that that is not you. You will not be alone, you will always have people to talk to, even if you don't think so. There are plenty of people out there that are willing to help. This website helped me out so much and now I am just trying to return the favor. If you say to yourself that you will be fine alone and you honestly believe it then you will be fine. It will only make you a better person in the long run.

I know I'm not going to be alone in that sense, I'm scared of literally being by myself for a period. Things have happened and it's made me afriad of being physically by myself or not being in constant communication with someone

Have you talked to anyone about this like a psychiatrist?

Yeah. He put me on a bunch of meds.

So something happened in the past, which now makes you afraid of being alone. Are you afraid that something bad is going to happen to you? Mentally? Or Physically?

You sound more like this is a heavier issue than the average Joe. A person that can help you would be a therapist. I recommend EMDR Institute, Inc. (http://www.emdr.com) for people that have gone through trauma. It helped me tremendously. Is the fear you have because someone physically hurt you and you can relive it in your mind when you are alone?

Is it really some loud inner thoughts that eat you alive when you are alone?

If so, this method can desensitize you from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, which takes many shapes.

I already know I have PTSD, I saw two therapists, one of which told me to join weight watchers because she'll get rewards, the other I didn't want to talk to after she asked me about past sexual abuse. I see a physchiatrist, whom I don't really trust very well.

Well, one therapist sounds like an idiot, that's too bad. I invite you to look into that website where they have them all over the country. You can choose what traumatic memory you want to not effect you as much and give it a handful of times.

You have control over the memories that you want to be processed. It's very interesting and effective... Kaiser even did a study about how this technique worked in PTSD healing faster than other types of therapy.

I imagine you don't want to live this way for many years to come. With me, it only took one session before one memory did not effect me. The average is 3-4 sessions per memory.

Is it expensive and require parental consent

I talked the therapist down really cheap, because of a situation I was in. It can be expensive, yes. For the peace of mind, the price is infinite.

I am not sure about the parental consent. That is definitely something to ask the therapist.

One of the memories I had (and this was not the reason why I went) but I chose to have a memory of when my mom was attacked while getting into a car when I was little. I was so afraid of what I saw and by the end of the session, my mind actually "reframed" the man that did it. I saw that man as an adult younger than me at my present age, and imagined myself asking why he did this. I saw myself sitting in the back of the car as an adult and in a more powerful position. It was really interesting how my mind changed that whole perception of being a victim to being in control. I am very calm about this incident now... it is as if I can see the image on TV, but I am not dragged into the emotion of it.

Does this help with events that were recurring? Such as abuse or molestation?

Yes, even if you have to deal with problems in a current relationship, it can help you not react so emotionally to events that trigger being upset.

Think of a soldier for example, they are constantly exposed to war memories. When they come back home and try to be normal, they can keep thinking of the same things that terrified them repeatedly. Imagine what a soldier would feel like, always looking behind his back while walking, maybe even to the store.

It is similar in any trauma. It affected you once, twice, or many times. If it is repeated, it would take more time to get rid of the mess it caused in your mind. But, once you have a series of memories going in a positive direction, you are more inclined to keep going this route. Hopefully, you can find the right one. Some people take a while to find the right therapist, no matter what kind they go to.

It isn't the same event...

Then it would take numerous sessions. No matter where you go, you can't be fixed in just a few sessions.

Because of costs I won't be able to until I'm older

I feel bad because of what you wrote in your post and would invite you to possibly call a few and explain your situation and they may be able to heavily discount.

At any rate, if you can't do it, it hopefully will be time that can heal you in regards to not wanting to be alone. Also, it is also possible, that as you grow older, you will get used to being alone more.

I had a really difficult time leaving the workforce to stay home alone with my baby... it was very lonely and strange to be alone. But, now, years later, I am very used to it.

I actually wanted a baby before just so I could have someone else with me all the time. Please don't feel bad. I hadn't meant to offend you

Feel free to send me a private message if you like anytime...

I don't know how. I'm new to the site, been on a few hours

Click on my username to the left of the post and you will see a menu where you can send a private message.

All it says is view public profile and find more posts by you

I'll send you one and you will have to go into your Profile. I don't want to be a pain to the moderator for getting off subject from the question.


Actually, I guess I can't with a new user.

Yeah I joined a few hours ago