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View Full Version : My father moved in with his girlfriend and died 30days later


Aren
Jan 3, 2010, 10:09 AM
The house is hers, she owns it. There is a car that is titled in his name but the GF has a lien on it. She gave my father 15k to buy the car with((Don't want the car, she can have it))
There are some personal items left in her house that I am entitled to. I am the sole heir and the executor of his estate. He had just moved in all his possessions to her home. ((Bedroom set, Crystal, Furniture misc items.)) Now she has given me some of the things back, she moved them into my home while I was out of state and my husband was at work. He left the key for her. Father and his GF had been together a total of 4 months when he passed.

Her latest statement to me was," You have all I am giving you." My father died with 46dollars in the bank and all he has was his "things." I am the only living member of my family left. 30yrs old and my 26yr old brother died last year, mother 9 years ago. I was told by my attorney to solve things amicably because he knows my financials. She isn't being very cooperative.

What rights if any do I have to get in the house to remove my fathers things? Recent purchases I have receipts for. Things that are 25yrs old obviously not. Any help at all is appreciated! Thanks in advance

tickle
Jan 3, 2010, 10:15 AM
You have no rights entering her house uninvited even if you have items in there you want. You have to negotiate with her and get your lawyer involved in sending a letter to facilitate that.

Tick

JudyKayTee
Jan 3, 2010, 10:40 AM
My feeling is that she will argue that the items she did not give you were gifts to her from your father. If she disposed of "things" she owned and replaced them with "things" your father brought into her house she has a reasonable legal argument.

Go back and tell the Attorney that you cannot settle amicably and have the Attorney handle things.

Fr_Chuck
Jan 3, 2010, 12:43 PM
first what are the "things" are they really worth or have any value to fight over, I ask this, since he did not seem to own a house, he had no mone in the bank, and borrowed money from her for a car.

Seems also she was taking good care of him and appears to have loved him. I can see her also wanting a few things to remember him by also.

I will say this on a MORAL view point, unless there is something of great value, forget it, share a friendship with the lady who shared a specical part of your dads heart.

From a legal side, the estate can sue her for the value of the items and /or get the probate judge to order her to return them

Aren
Jan 3, 2010, 01:54 PM
Things are A 4k dollar bedroom set he just finished paying on. She had two other big bedroom sets she did not get rid of. Crystal from my mother and father's marriage that could be over 20yrs old. Other items of sentimental value that have been around for years.

As for something to remember him by I had a Sterling silver box engraved and have his ashes in for her. She also does have a few things that we agreed upon her keeping because of the fact she got rid of things of hers to replace with his. Which I have been fine with, its just the two things. The bedroom set, crystal and pieces of a wall unit that were designed and made in Denmark for my father.

Maybe its pety maybe its not Morally correct. I have in the last 8 years lost my entire immediate family. I just thought she would have some compassion and realize that these things while that may not be worth a lot there is sentimental value there. Friendship wise I have been nothing but nice and concerned about her and she is just avoiding me. No harsh words have been exchanged.

ScottGem
Jan 3, 2010, 02:04 PM
As the others said, you have no right to enter the house.

If she will not give up the items you have ONE recourse. Go to probate court with proof that the items were part of your father's estate and get a court order to reclaim them.

JudyKayTee
Jan 3, 2010, 02:10 PM
I am torn between the legal and personal issues here. You say you are the Executor of his Will; therefore, all of this is covered by the Will (presumably) and I don't know what her argument is - other than that he gifted certain items to her. Does she have a copy of the Will?

It's not petty if it's important to you.

On the personal side - when my husband died my stepchildren had a list of things of sentimental value that they "needed/wanted" to remember their father. Many of the things they "needed/wanted" were in our home, were part of our home, were our joint property - all of which was covered in his Will (not your situation).

If you are in the mood to smile one of his children thought his car would be a nice reminder - I couldn't believe what I was hearing!

Do you think that just letting the matter rest for a couple of months will give her a chance to sort things out in her own head?

I'm truly sorry for your loss. You have certainly had a number of great losses and now you have to contend with this situation.

I preach constantly that Wills have to be valid and recent but people move in and out or make other big changes in their lives and never think to update Wills. Of course, if the usual "all of my belongings ..." language had been used in a Will you would still have a problem if the GF is going to claim some things were gifts.

I wish I had 100% legal advice for you but I don't. I can offer my sympathy, however.

I think your Attorney is going to have to handle this if for no other reason than you are too close to it, she is too close to it, you need a third party's intervention.

Any thoughts?

ScottGem
Jan 3, 2010, 02:15 PM
I am torn between the legal and personal issues here. You say you are the Executor of his Will; therefore, all of this is covered by the Will (presumably) and I don't know what her argument is - other than that he gifted certain items to her. Does she have a copy of the Will?



Judy brings up a significant point here. If the will specifically mentions the items you want, then she hasn't a leg to stand on. Get your attorney to send her a letter citing the will.

However, if the will simply leaves all my worldly possessions to you, then you will have to prove his ownership of the items.

Aren
Jan 4, 2010, 01:46 PM
Yes the will was a all my worldly possesions go to my daughter type of a will. I have receipts for the bedroom set. The will does not state specific items.

No the GF does not have a copy of the will.

Thanks Judy for your sympathy and everyone else for their answers.

Just going to contact the attorney and go from there. If its really worth the money I'm not sure, its just the sentimental value of items that had been in my family for 30+ years and she just thinks she can keep all of the nice things after a few months of a relationship.

Anyway thanks again. We'll see what happens

tickle
Jan 4, 2010, 01:56 PM
Good luck and chinup. Don't let anyone get the best of you !

Tick