So, this is my story,, in the summer I broke my leg I'm 26 and an active self employed guy, play football etc etc,, I broke my leg and lived with my ex in her parents farm yard, I went mad due to my leg as it wouldn't heal and I got massive cabin fever and my attitude towards her got worse and I was already a selfish idiot and arrogant towards her and I really thought I wanted to be single and didn't love her so I kind of tested myself and moved out on crutches and she wanted me back so bad but I was adamant I needed to heal myself first before we talked, all me me me mr selfish,, this was all 2 weeks before she had a big operation on her arm and I acted like I didn't care,, so I moved in with my bro for 8 weeks got myself better and moved into a new flat, now at my brothers she came to see me and we kissed and were going to try again,, but then I pushed her away again and rowed with her,, then when I moved into the flat I got her round and promised to change be more focused on her and less on work and friends and we got back together,, I did change a little but didn't put her first and I was so bad to her when we were together that she never trusted me again, I would put her down so badly and I truly knnow my mistakes now,, we tried again and she was starting to let me in then I got really into work again and was texting her things to push her away again,, 2 weeks passed and I didn't talk to her, being arrogant I assumed she would come running back again,, this time she didn't and I saw a post on Facebook saying she had been texting another guy, bam like a sledgehammer it hit me what id been doing,, I went round hers and (wrong I know) got into her PC and looked on her Facebook and she was messaging this guy for a few weeks and telling her mated she really like this guy no word of me,, this was 3 weeks ago and was the worse moment of my life, reading those things made me sooo upset, I didn't know she wa on the lookout, but I guess I pushed her away... I went to see her that night and said I know what your doing and she said there was nothing going on and there was no guy and nothing to discuss with me, I told her id been on her PC and she admitted she like this guy and by that realized she didn't want me anymore,, 2.5 years we were together and she could move on like that! She told me she will always care for me but she knoes its over and I treated her bad and she wanted sumin new and easy,, I did the whole trying to reach her touch her look into her eyes all that stuff, but no go, her eyes were cold and she said in the last 2 weeks she realized we weren't right for each other and I left, she said she didn't want to try again right now,, maybe in the future but she needed time to focus on her work and herself,, I knew that that night she was due to see the guy, I don't know if she did but I bombarded her with texts and Facebook messages begging her, I had to make her realize I did love here and always did and that I would put her first if she took me back, she just said its over and she moved on in the summer and didn't know it and only got back with me as she thought she needed me but knows know she doesn't,, I carried on messaging her and said I would change my job for her and I loved her, and I would fight for her,, she said she didn't honestly know if she wanted me to fight for her now, maybe in the future she just didn't know,, so I left it then last Saturday I called her and said I needed to tell her I was sorry and I wanted to see her in the new year,, she said there was nothing to discuss and her life is so much happier single and she doesn't love me or miss me, which hurt, I've been so hurting the last few weeks, I knowi can't push people away and I'm getting help and am going to change, I know now I've made mistakes, but I don't think she will ever believe me,, and I think she's moved on, I delted her from my phone and Facebook, an hour later she sent me a message on Facebook saying how on earth could I do that after 2.5 years! She wasn't happy about it and I replied saying look at it from my view I don't want to see what's she's up to, new boyfriend etc etc, I gave her some money I owed her in a christmas card posted through her letterbox and one to her family thanking them for letting me stay there,, she texted me saying thank you and merry christmas with a kiss,, now I think she has moved on,, but she must have been looking at my Facebook to know I deleted her and she is putting kisses in her texts,, now I didn't reply to her texts, I'm going to go no contact to get through... im going to change as my selfish actions and ways have ruined everythng, I truly know that now.. but does she really not think of me like she says, she is a quiet homely girl and all of a sudden is all over Facebook, saying she's going here and there and making out she is having a brill time,, I don't really use Facebook that much but can't stop peeking at her profile,, its too hard and so I'm out all the time and have been on a couple of dates and have kissed another girl,, I don't know what she thinks but I really don't know if she will ever contact me again,, she says nothing is happeing with this guy she wants to be single for a bit,, sorry long winded I know but I don't know what to think

I think you have described the downhill snowball that eventually crashes into a big tree and splatters everywhere.

Things were probably not so good before you broke your leg. I can understand where you're coming from being stuck, and immobile, and in a foul mood. To a point.

But, what you have described as to your behaviour- taking her for granted, treating her poorly , putting her down etc. only wears a person down. Eventually, they do one of two things. Continue to take it, or they leave.

Changing behaviour is not easy. You say you are getting help, I presume counselling. The behaviour you have described of yourself, will take a committed effort over a long period to change. Something drives the behaviour and you need to find out what that is, in order to change it.

Saying you have changed, and even after counselling when you are a better person because of it, still does not change the fact, that perhaps this relationship has just run its course.

Accept that she is happy, as she said, being single, and she's enjoying her life. I would quit with the bombardment of messages and texts, that will, if anything, only drive her further away.

Take care of yourself first, so that you can enter the next relationship with a better idea of what you need to do to make it work.

So the tables have turned on you. All that time of you playing in and out with her, playing with her emotions, being self-centered, and you honestly think you deserve another chance with this girl? She didn't decide to be done with you all of a sudden as you say. You were making that decision for her over all the time you were treating her so badly. She has had enough of it, and I seriously doubt you have any chances of getting her back. And sorry to be brutally honest, but you don't deserve her anyway. Move on and leave her alone.

Geez guy, you can't expect to kick someone, and mistreat them, and take all your frustrations out on them, and they not run away to get some relief from all the abuse, can you?

Let her go be happy without your misery and pain, and leave her alone.

Find your own happiness through a lot of changing so you don't do this to another.