First off, me and my girlfriend are a long distance relationship at the moment, I'm a 17 college student and she's a 16 school student, we met on her holiday in my city and it became love at first sight, we regulary chatted on msn and skype and planned to meet as soon and I can afford to travel to her.

We have been together for the past 4 months and this month has been fairly tough on her from what I heard. I've seen serveral sighs of her being upset or unhappy but she never admits it or lets me help talk about it. She was dotting frequenty in sentences, for example "Yeah.. fine.. brb" and on skype, she was very quiet and I was usually the one trying to get her to talk. Of course she was never like this before and it greatly worried me since she was very emotionless and confusing.

We use to talk regulary about sexual and romantic ideas for my visit and she loved to flirt about it during out first afew months together. Now she never wants to even talk about it, always avoiding the conversation or making little flirts but only like once a week or less.
All this worry about this made me confront her and ask if she has either cheated or she lost interest with me or even if she was depressed.

She told me no she was OK, and then we start digusting me coming to see her since it's the holidays so I will have a little cash to come see her. She says she's not sure if I should come see her now and she been unhappy for a month. Apparently because of her grandfather going metally ill, and her grades in school coming down and even things about she can't share her interests with me since I won't understand.

I offer to her by researching these subjects but she won't let me try and then leads to a argument, saying that she think she loves me but not sure she loves anyone at the moment. She then calls for a break saying she needs space, I let her know how I feel about her and tell her I don't want to break but I respect her wish if she wants space.

I leave her acouple days without no contact and then after 2 days, see how she is with a brief chat, she then tells me not to get our friends checking on her, I did so because the last person she wants to talk to is me so I got some friends to just check on her, her responses with emotionless and short. Next thing I know she changing her msn picture to a depressing picture of her and changing her messages to very weird sentences. Most recent one was
"I never thought this day would end. I never thought tonight could ever be this close to me"

FIrst was in dutch, her language then soon once I come on she changes it to english, my language. I've been tempted to break the NC rule because I was worried about her and paranoid if she's been cheating on me. From her messages seems she depressed, but I'm not sure she's just trying to get my attention. I thought about breaking up with her during out break but she seems so depressed I rather not push her towards self harming her. I love her, my first heartbreak but I hate to break up with her since she means so much to me.

If she just trying to get attention from me or just going through a depressive phase, Any advice if I should break the NC rule if I'm concerned for her safety.:(

You should be doing your own thing and leaving hers alone, that's what true NC is all about. Not sneaking peeks at network pages, and sending spies to report information about what she is doing, back to you. That's not how you give people space.

Leave her alone guy!

Don't break NC-and don't keep checking up on her as this only confuses you-she wanted a break and space,so that's what you give her.
You live your own life and don't put it on hold for somebody else.

You have not been 'together' for four months. You met while she was on a holiday in your city, and your communication is only electronic!

It sounds to me that the initial attraction has worn off, and she has lost interest. You are pressuring her by having her friends check on her, and making the giant assumption that she is either mentally ill (with your self-harm comment), or depressed, as you said.

Either of which allows you an excuse to keep the ball rolling.

Please leave her alone, she is quite obviously not getting through to you that she does not wish to see you, and carry on with conversations over the computer.

You say you were worried about her, and paranoid that she was seeing someone else. I'd' say she made it quite clear that her business is her business.

I hope you don't plan on showing up over the break uninvited.

Thank you for the responses, I've been mainly focused on trying different activaties to distract me, for example, gym, Talking with friends and regaining old friends. Christmas shopping ofc lol.

I think the thing that brings me to check on her is when I got time to think, drives my head through hoops and it becomes harder to ignore. One positive step I've done is remove a little contact from her on any other accounts of different sites I have (face book, twitter). I know I should but I'm not ready to complete remove her from msn because even if she decides it over, I want to keep her at least as a friend, but I doubt she will feel the same way about the idea.

I guess what little contact I have with her is still existent because of false hope. Honestly I feel a little abandoned after it all, and whenever I had these spaces to thing, it just either has been thinking of writing a letter to plead her back or finish it with her. Or it just gives me ideas of another I could find, but I hate to give in to my desperate mood for a rebound girl, since that would be fair on her or the rebound girl.

I think you're right both about the false hope and about a rebound being wrong. For you to be able to move on you really should delete her from everything. I hope you get to that point soon.