I have been with my girlfriend for about 3 years now, we met on a bus when we were 15 and we broke for about a year and a bit in between then and now. When we got back together everything was amazing. I mean what can I say we were in love. We would stay up until the wee hours of the night talking on the phone. Hell I can even remember falling asleep on the phone with her we talked so much. We always were doing things together like going out to movies and out for dinner and what not the things couples do. We had sex on a daily basis at first give or take a day or two and it was amazing as well. She complained of pain and such afterwards but we were in love none the less. When we were together it felt as if I could spend an eternity just gazing into her eyes and watching her do all the cute things that women do. When we would sleep we would cuddle and talk about the past and how we met and how we want to get married and have kids which at the time I wasn't ready cause we were still waaayyy to young. Its still nice to dream none the less. Don't get me wrong I'm still young and so is she but I don't want to be having kids still living in the house when I'm 50+ years old. I want to grow old and retire. In fact I want to grow old and retire with the girl I'm with now and always thought that was the way it would be, I can't see my life any other way... until recently.


It started with her not wanting to have sex as often cause she didn't like it much. Ok that is fine. I don't need sex to live, as I said before I could spend an eternity watching her do nothing. Its just a sign. When I try to start anything even remotely sexual she tells me to off and what not. We used to kiss each other a lot and it meant something. Even if it was just a peck on the cheek, the love could still be felt. It was almost as if a kiss had to stolen... not asked for. Excuse me begged for. When we kiss now its very lifeless. That is if we kiss at all. Lately its bin hard to even get a good bye kiss before work or a snuggle to talk about the day after work. When I ask for a kiss she rolls her eyes and puckers her lips and sits there and waits for me with an irritated look on her face. When we sleep its usually been her back to me and I'm snuggling on bhind her. Except recently we haven't been able to sleep without some body part touching... mostly our feet... but I think this is a good sign, I heard you can tell a lot about a relationship from sleep patterns. However a month or 2 ago she told me that she didn't want to be with me anymore. She told me that she didn't love me anymore and that she loved me only as a friend and that she wanted to get out and date other people and what not. I was devastated. I have turned my life around for this girl. Practically anything that she wanted I made it possible for her. I love her with all my heart and can't see a life without her in it. I argued with her until I was blew in the face and convinced her to stay with me that I would be more romantic and what not, but I didn't have to funds to buy her flowers all the time and what now. I did what I could, leaving little notes here and there for here and such but it never seemed to faze her. I would leave her notes before I would go to work and when I get home I didn't even get so much as a kiss for thinking of her. I got a thanks for the note... thats it. Now about 2 weeks ago she told me again she wanted to go on a break, so again I am devastated and can't pull myself together. My heart is broken. The love of my life doesn't love me anymore. Its hard to love someone that doesn't love you. There is nothing more painful because you know that no matter how much you love it is a lost cause. Like trying to tell and alcoholic not to drink. I cried myself to slepp a few nites, even prayed that she would come to her senses.at the beginning of the week she went up to the ski hill for the night with this guy she has been texting and getting close with and gave him head. . Her excuse is oh... "were tecnically not together" but still were living in the same house sleeping in the same bed I mean just cause you just told me you want to go on a break doesn't mean you have to jump to the first chance you get at having sex with someone. She says she wants to get out and date other people and see what other people are like and what not and she wants to have sex with this mike guy tomorrow night, but in the same breath is telling me that she DOES want to be with me in the long run. Im the one she wants to marry and I'm the one she wants to have kids with. After she sucked that guy off she came home and told me she loves me and that its just not right lying next to someone else and that she knows that we are meant to be together, but she still wants to go out and date other guys and stuff. This is the love of my life and I want to be with her forever but after someone goes out and does these things its just not the same anymore. I don't look at her the same way. I love her still but I don't really want to put my hands on her and its almost like she has been contaminated. What should I do? Is there anything I can do to bring the love and passion back in our relationship?

I have turned my life around for this girl. Practically anything that she wanted i made it possible for her.

I think that's one major part of the problem. You are lost, confused and in shock. First of all, she went and give a blow*** to another guy, and she wants to have sex with him AND she expects YOU to be there for her?

What she is doing is horrible, but what is even more horrible is that you are hoping for a chance with her! Can't you see you are being used? I've had my share of really bad breakup, but my story doesn't even come close to yours!

She is still living under your roof? You first need to grow some balls, and grow some pride. You are being walked on all over! You need to break up with her, tell her she has around 30 days to leave the house and apply NC as soon as possible.

You have suffered long enough and you are very young. There is somebody out there who will be much better suited for you than this cheating girlfriend. It's time to live YOUR life, not somebody else's.

This probably isn't what you want to hear but, there probably is not a whole lot you can do to put love and passion back in your relationship. As much as I think what she is doing is wrong, put yourself in her shoes. What if you didn't love a girl anymore and she kept trying to get you back but you just didn't want her? My point is, you shouldn't have to convince someone to stay with you. Doesn't it kill you knowing that she doesn't really want to be there? The cold, hard truth is that she doesn't want to be with you anymore and nothing you do can really change that. You're obviously young, and she's right, you both should see other people. Take it from someone who had the same boyfriend all through high school and most of college--date other girls!

Obviously you're a great guy who has a lot to offer. But she is not the one for you. Just think, when you do find the one, what you're feeling for this current girl won't even compare to her. I hope you realize all of this soon before you get your heart broken even more. Best of luck!

Why are the two of you still under the same roof? Are you renting and if so whose name's on the lease? You need to go your separate ways,she's hurting you and there's no way you should have to put up with that. You're young,turn your life around,for you,and be happy without her.

Handle your business, and make some changes in you living arrangements. You have to let her go, because that's what she wants, but you don't have to be there to watch her doing her thing, so somebody has to go. That simple.

I think that's one major part of the problem. You are lost, confused and in shock. First of all, she went and give a blow*** to another guy, and she wants to have sex with him AND she expects YOU to be there for her?

What she is doing is horrible, but what is even more horrible is that you are hoping for a chance with her! Can't you see you are being used? I've had my share of really bad breakup, but my story doesn't even come close to yours!

She is still living under your roof? You first need to grow some balls, and grow some pride. You are being walked on all over! You need to break up with her, tell her she has around 30 days to leave the house and apply NC as soon as possible.

You have suffered long enough and you are very young. There is somebody out there who will be much better suited for you than this cheating girlfriend. It's time to live YOUR life, not somebody else's.

I'm with Paxe on this one... my story doesn't even come near this one... Trust me.. even if you got her back your going to be living parnoia and stress and you name it crap. The trust has been broken and when that break.. it takes allot of work for it to even come back. It's like a glass cup being drop on the ground. Even if you try to piece back together its never really the same. It also sound like you've gone into stalker mode because you have allot very detail information and it best to stop that. IT will accomplish nothing.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/meaning-no-contact-nc-425290-2.html <-- it will help

It's obvious that you're in real pain, but you've got to move out of her life.

I hate it when ladies play this card. It is just cowardly. In my opinion she’s saying that although she still likes you and may be atttracted to you that she doesn’t want to be with you. It means she’s 99% sure she doesn’t want to be with you instead of being 100%. She wants to keep you around as a back up plan, then if she doesn’t find someone she likes better she’ll come back to you, but if she finds a guy she likes better she can easily and without guilt let you go. When a lady wants to take a break what she really wants is to know that you’ll be waiting with open arms if she decides to come back. That’s what makes it so cowardly. She doesn’t want you right now but she also doesn’t want to risk losing you if she has a change of heart.

Some people take breaks and do get back together. It does happen, but not very often. She is letting you down easily but is trying to keep the door to your relationship open by giving you a sense of hope that the break is only temporary. This is only a temporary break if she doesn’t hook up with someone new and she starts feeling lonely. She’ll only come back if the loneliness gets the best of her and there are no other prospects. If she meets a new man the break will be for real. If she’s loving single life the break will last a very long time, at least until she tires of flying solo, and still then there are no guarantees that she’ll land back with you. She may opt to settle down with the first new cute man she meets. Then how will you feel?

Accept this and live your life as if you were broken up for good. Date other girls. Don’t hang out with her and don’t contact her. This is the only way you’ll stay sane throughout “the break.” Treat it as if it were a complete break up. Who knows? Maybe once you see this break for the break up that it really is you’ll find that it is you who doesn’t want her anymore. Either way, this girl has cut you loose; it’s about time you did the same.

Damn dude, lose that >female< asap.