Helo,
Im a small town girl from Indiana. I've lived with some very traditional and grounded family members for my whole life. I am 20 years old and my boyfriend and best friend is 19. I have graduated from cosmetology school, and have begun to work hard on building my career. My boy friend will be starting school in the fall majoring in law enforcement and communications. We have been together for two years and have been best friends for way longer. We have been through A LOT together, and have been talking about taking the next step into marriage. We feel that since he is entering a two year program in school, and I will already be well established, we have been kind of planning a wedding for May of 2011. I feel this is resonable. I am very fearfull of what our parents will think of it since they are both very old fashioned! I asked my mother what she would think about a plan like that "if we had one", and she said NO. She wants us to wait till he is out of school and we are both established for a good few years. I think not, but I don't want to disrespect my family. I feel we are old enough to make our own choices, but I want my family to be happy for us, not resentfull! HELP ME!!

If you really want your parents on board, why not wait?

You are both really young. If you love each other enough to marry in 2011 then you'll also be ready in 2015 and your parents will be more accepting of it.

Sometimes you have to comprise, that's what being an adult is all about.

Listen to your parents. They are older and wiser that you.

You may think that you know what you want, but in reality you are only starting your life, so you don't know what you don't know - if you know what I mean!

Be realistic. The number of young marriages that fail is extremely high. Your parents know this and they want only the best for you.

Trust them. You have time on your side and you can afford to wait. Your chances of success will be much greater if you allow the time for experience and maturity to be on your side.

I agree with the two previous posters.
And why the rush to get married?

It's funny at 20 when everything has to be done now, yet when you are 30, you wish you could put everything on hold.

You will learn a lot about yourself in the next few years, setting a date EVEN further out gives plenty of planning and saving opportunity for the wedding of your dreams. You will continue to learn about each other and if you are talking about a lifetime, well then 2 years v. 5 years is nothing.

Respect your parents, they have wisdom you can't appreciate yet. Time will fly, but just take more time. It's all you really have in life, more time.

If you're really committed to one another, then waiting a while longer won't affect you.

Marriage is a huge step and shouldn't be rushed. Spend more time stabilizing your personal lives, careers and building a stronger relationship before taking the next step into marriage.

I agree with everyone above. Why not wait? You don't want to go into a marriage with debt, you don't want to create debt. With marriage comes children and unsurmountable debt.

Now is the opportune time to build your clientele, your boyfriend to get thorough school and pay off any student loans (if he has any). Then when financially stable, get married.

May of 2011

That's plenty of time to evaluate, and work together, and see how things are then. There is no hurry to get married.

Why not talk to your mom about it some more and see if you can find some middle ground? If you don't you could end up walking down the aisle by yourself... I don't think that you are too young to get married- rather, this is an issue between you and your family. Work it out by talking it through.
Since you are both adults I don't believe that you have to "listen to your parents" per se- but if you want them invovled in your wedding, you're going to have to deal with it.
If your parents still say no, cool your jets, and give yourself, your boyfriend, and your parents time to process things.

(I wouldn't worry about planning ANYTHING, until he decides to propse. If he hasn't proposed yet, don't worry about a 2011 wedding.)