LetsGoPens87
Dec 16, 2009, 10:55 AM
Hey everyone, I'm not sure if this has been posted anywhere, and if it has I couldn't find it so it needs to be re-stated. As some of you already know, I am in a confusing situation with a girl I am deeply in love with. Long story short she said she is not happy with the relationship and wanted to break up. I told her that's fine if it is what she really wanted, although I was strongly against it. Now, 6 days after breakup, I am sad, lonely, unhappy, angry... all of those things Im sure many of you are feeling or have felt. I know these are tough times for all of us and I want everyone to try what I have tried, it really helped to calm me down!
I want you to find a block of time where you know you will not be interrupted. For some it may be 20 minutes, and for others, like myself, it may take 2 hours or more. Grab a stack of paper and a pen and start writing a letter to your significant (or maybe Insignificant) other. I started with her name, and then went at it!
First part of your letter should be why you are writing. When you are ready, move into some of the best times you had and the nice things you have said to each other that you haven't forgotten so you know they will remember the good times too. After this start jotting down the months/weeks leading to the breakup, what both of you noticed starting to fail, what the reason was for the break up, whether it was over a LONG period or not, explain everything. Don't be generous in this part, talk about what both of you did wrong or what either of you felt was wrong and what was said in those last few months/weeks/days. Then talk about how the breakup affected you, what it changed about you... basically how YOU felt about it. Finally write down your feelings looking back on EVERYTHING and what good can come out of it. Again, don't be generous. If you want to never see/hear from them again, say so and explain why. If you want to be friends, explain that and why... etc.
Here comes the most important part... NEVER, EVER SEND THIS LETTER TO THAT PERSON! Keep it, read it, and read it again. This has really helped me deal with everything. Why we loved each other, why we broke up, and how I am dealing with it. By doing this, it made me drop so many 'what ifs' from my head. It helped me move on a little bit in my life and anytime I think of the 'what ifs' I can look back on it and find a little sense of closure. I have come to the conclusion, after writing my 5 page letter, that I need to just back off, live my life, and let time deal with her mixed emotions. I hope this can help at least one person on here!
Any additions, feedback would be appreciated.
I want you to find a block of time where you know you will not be interrupted. For some it may be 20 minutes, and for others, like myself, it may take 2 hours or more. Grab a stack of paper and a pen and start writing a letter to your significant (or maybe Insignificant) other. I started with her name, and then went at it!
First part of your letter should be why you are writing. When you are ready, move into some of the best times you had and the nice things you have said to each other that you haven't forgotten so you know they will remember the good times too. After this start jotting down the months/weeks leading to the breakup, what both of you noticed starting to fail, what the reason was for the break up, whether it was over a LONG period or not, explain everything. Don't be generous in this part, talk about what both of you did wrong or what either of you felt was wrong and what was said in those last few months/weeks/days. Then talk about how the breakup affected you, what it changed about you... basically how YOU felt about it. Finally write down your feelings looking back on EVERYTHING and what good can come out of it. Again, don't be generous. If you want to never see/hear from them again, say so and explain why. If you want to be friends, explain that and why... etc.
Here comes the most important part... NEVER, EVER SEND THIS LETTER TO THAT PERSON! Keep it, read it, and read it again. This has really helped me deal with everything. Why we loved each other, why we broke up, and how I am dealing with it. By doing this, it made me drop so many 'what ifs' from my head. It helped me move on a little bit in my life and anytime I think of the 'what ifs' I can look back on it and find a little sense of closure. I have come to the conclusion, after writing my 5 page letter, that I need to just back off, live my life, and let time deal with her mixed emotions. I hope this can help at least one person on here!
Any additions, feedback would be appreciated.