Please help. We are an immigrant family living in Western country. We originate from south asia.

I am very embarrassed to bring my white friends home as we are not as clean as them. We clean often but our house does not look maintained like other people's house. I don't mean restroom but in general like hall and kitchen area. My parents don't throw away things easily, we have a lot of junk in home that is not being used nor being thrown away.

The thing that saddens me the most is that our house is brand new and now after a year of moving in it looks totally themeless and very generic. My parents are money saving type as in we moved in the day after the carpet and walls were painted. We had to clean all the construction dust and sort out all our items into our house. All four in our family are adults.

My parents prefer to use cooking utensils which are about 25+ years old. They think it's a waste of money if we buy new cuttlery. My dad does not even maintain or clean his car, to the point where he had to write of his car because he tried to ignore a problem in his car and finally car was un-fixable.

I know I am whining a lot, but not Im 21 and I have made it a rule not to introduce my parents or home to any of my friends.

I certainly don't have issue with our financial capability. I believe that not matter what class middle or upper you are, the house should be non-messy and clean. Its not like that with us.

Please help me.

Blue, you can't teach an old dog new tricks, the saying goes. If you can't convince your parents to change their way of living, I would be at a loss to explain to you how to do it.

If they are happy the way they are, let them be happy, don't disrupt them.

YOu, at 2l, will probably be moving out soon and you won't have to put up with, what you consider to be, substandard living conditions. Just bear with it and keep them happy.

Tick