View Full Version : Am I crazy?
jamiebear
Dec 11, 2009, 01:04 PM
So I was with the love of my life named Arthur for over three years. A little over a month ago he broke up with me because of a misunderstanding. He thought I stole something from one of his friend's family members and I didn't.
In the past, we have broken up about three times. I was the reason for all the breakups. I cheated on him, and I broke up with him every time because i felt bad. Honestly, I didn't think I loved him as much as I do, for the first two years. But now that we aren't together, I realise he was, and still is my everything. I love him more than life itself, but now I can't do anything to get him back. He wont even talk to me. Just because he thinks I stole something. Wouldn't you think after I cheated on him, he wouldn't take me back? It's pretty backwards, but whatever. He's a pretty backwards kinda guy. But I've been having suicidal thoughts. I mean, I would never do anything to hurt myself. But I have been thinking about how everyone would benefit from me not being here. Am I crazy?
Enigma1999
Dec 11, 2009, 01:13 PM
Hello Jamie,
He doesn't sound like the backwards person, you do. If you cheated and stole from me, I wouldn't take you back either, let along talk to you... Sorry to seem so blunt. I do strongly believe that you need professional help though with those suicidal thoughts of yours.
Good luck.
redhed35
Dec 11, 2009, 01:21 PM
You cheated on him and he forgave you and took you back,then you did it again,and he took you back,perhaps he just could not trust that you did not steal anything,and did not believe you,to be honest,can you blame him.
Maybe he just can't take being hurt anymore,and if you respect him,my advice is to leave him alone..
As for you,you don't say what age you are,but I suggest talking to someone you trust about your thoughts and feelings.
artlady
Dec 11, 2009, 01:26 PM
No , you are not crazy.I would say you are hurt and sad,all normal feelings after a break-up.
You life is not over because one person has decided that they do not want to be with you anymore.Perhaps he is using the alleged stealing as an excuse because he has simply fallen out of love with you.
It happens all the time that we love someone and for whatever reason,we lose that love.It is sad but true.
Your life has value and always had value ,before your BF and now and your pain is what is making you forget that you are a worthy person deserving of happiness.
There are people who love you and they would be devastated if you left them so permanently.
What you are going through is difficult ,we have all been there and know the pain of a broken heart.It feels like it will never go away but with time ,you do heal.
There is life after a break-up but you have to work on healing in order to get better.
For now,pamper yourself and do things that make you feel good about who you are.
Take time to think of you and how you can better your life for you.You must love yourself before you can ever be in a healthy relationship.
There will be love in your life again.I promise that in time you will heal and you will see that you have value ,you do not need a man to give you value,you already are a worthy person.
Remember that!
Soulbeliever666
Dec 12, 2009, 02:39 PM
Hey these feelings are normal and I can promise you one thing they don't last forever maybe its time to just let go. Its sounds abit rocky between you and your ex even if your saying the truth which I am sure you are you can't blame your ex feeling that way they don't seem to be mature enough to talk about it? Just move on probably for the best any way even if it doesn't t feel like it for a while it will soon pass.
Jake2008
Dec 14, 2009, 05:04 AM
I agree with the others that probably the last straw was the stealing, even though you say you didn't. The cheating and the impression of stealing, or belief of stealing, all add up to no trust.
No trust means no relationship.
The only thing I want to add is that, while you are going through all the 'normal' throngs of getting over a lost relationship, it is too little too late that you realize how much you love him, and that you have changed.
I too, encourage you to get yourself into therapy to learn how to let go of the thoughts and feelings that are leading you down a self-destructive path. There is a lot of benefit just to letting it all out, face to face, with a caring professional who can help you put it all in focus.
Good luck to you.