You guys may be sick of answering these types of questions, but here goes:
My dad has a drinking problem, and refuses to admit it. My parents are still married, but because of work opportunities one lives in BC and the other in Ontario (a 6 hour plane ride away). My dad frequently has 2-3 glasses of scotch or beer every day when he's at home alone, and every time I come to visit him the first thing he asks is what he can get me to drink.
I didn't really think much of it, but my mom is facing a bigger problem. Every time they're together (they fly to see each other, and spend about 6 months every year together in BC/ON) they go out to lots of parties and functions. According to my mom, he gets absolutely smashed. Recently, she's had to carry him home because he can't even stand up.
My mom tried confronting him about his drinking, but he refused to admit that he had a problem. She then said 'well if you don't have a problem, then it won't be a problem to stop drinking for a few days' to which he responded 'I'll think about it' (which we all know means 'shut up, and there's no way I'll do that') He gets very angry whenever we try to bring it up, which of course just shows that there is a problem.
I'm afraid that this could be the end of their marriage. They've been married for 25 years, and my mom says she's at the end of her rope.
Is there any way that I can approach this subject with my dad without just pushing him away further, or do I have to wait for him to hit rock bottom before he realizes something is wrong?
I'm 21, so there's no issue of abuse or anything like that, and I live on my own so even if he gets really mad I can always just go home. I just want my family back!! Help!. please?

It's not easy, you have to 'feel' for the right way to mention it. I have a relative who drinks way too much and doesn't realize it even though they have been told by their spouse and children.

I had to mention it in a way that I felt would make an impact on him, but not make him mad at the same time. I think it helped but I knew him very well.

They do have groups you can attend to help yourself get through this and I'm sure some one on this site might know a name.:)

Good Luck

He is an alcoholic in denial and he is the only one who is going to change that.

First he needs to admit he has a problem.

Until he does ,you may as well be talking to a brick wall.

You can educate yourself about this disease by visiting al anon for families of alcoholics.

Arm yourself with knowledge and you will learn what works and what does not

Below is a link to al anon.It is free and anonymous and you have everything to gain by hooking up with them.I wish you the best on this difficult journey.

How to find a meeting in the US/Canada/Puerto Rico (http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html)

Nope, until he hits bottom or has something to make him see the problem, nothing you can do will cause him until he is ready

My late husband was an alcoholic in denial who drank much more than your dad did every day.

You should attend at least one ALANON meeting so you can see your dad in the proper light. They don't put rose colored glasses on you either. You will see yourself in those who attend these meetings. I met myself in just about everyone that attended the meetings I did. The people who attended were husbands, wives, parents and grandparents of drunks. They told some pretty amazing stories of just what they were subjected to and what they put up with from the drunks in their lives.

Please go. You will be glad you did. We can't express to you here exactly what you need to learn about being an alcoholic. Only seeing other people in your shoes and seeing how they act and react to the drunks in their lives can truly show you how and what to do.

It's always hard to get an alcoholic to realize the fact that they have a problem. There is denial. Then broken promises. Then outright lies. I know, I am an alcoholic/addict in recovery. My health problems got the best of me and I crawled into a bottle of liquor. And then a bottle of painkillers.

But thanks to Alcoholics Anonymous, Our Lord Almighty, and the love of an amazing woman, I am clean and sober.

Like an elevator that stops on many floors, alcoholics have different levels of "bottom". Until your father has an event, or family/friend intervention, he's not going to get the fact that he is killing himself.

Sometimes we (alcoholics) need a shove to recovery.

He needs to get into detox, then rehab, and then finally Alcoholics Anonymous. He could die from seizures trying to detox himself.

In the meanwhile, you should do as the others have mentioned, and get in Alanon. My wife is in it. It truly has saved her sanity. We ride together to meetings, her on one side of the hall, me on the other.

Maybe it's a good idea for your mother to film him when he's hammered. Let him see how he looks, embarrassing the family, and himself.

Good luck on getting help for your father. It's going to be a tough journey.

I know everyone is saying he needs to hit rock bottom before anything will happen, but I wonder if both you and your mother spoke to him (when he was sober), whether it might have an impact?

A sort of 'mini' intervention. However, you might want to speak to someone professional about what you and your mother would say.